The sense of anticipation flooded my senses. I wanted it. I had to admit it. I wanted it badly, deep down inside. But it felt like I had entered some kind of high-stakes game, where failure carried heavy consequences. What if it went badly? It wouldn't just be embarrassing; it would probably also mean the end of our friendship. Well, it's all agreed it's going to happen, so whatever will be, from now on will be. But I knew I was highly enthusiastic about the coming night, really looking forward to it. I knew it because I caught myself watching the clock as I waited for the train to arrive to take me home. I still didn't have my car, so I would have to catch a cab from home to their place.
Eventually I made it home. I poured a glass of wine and had a shower. I selected one of my short black dresses, with black pumps. What does one wear when one is going to have a threesome, I laughed to myself. I guess in the end it doesn't matter, because these clothes will be coming off sooner or later. But I wanted to look sexy.
And I did look good. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I thought, yes, you look hot. I smiled to myself.
But I was nervous as I was waited for the taxi. I felt like a cigarette. I wasn't much of a smoker, but right now I needed one to calm my nerves. I went out onto the balcony and lit up. As it drew in the smoke, I heard a noise off the side. Mr Darcy.
"Good evening, my dear!" he beamed when he saw me. I didn't really want to have to face him right that minute. "My, you're looking lovely tonight!" he observed as he looked me up and down. "A night out on the town?"
"No Mr Darcy, just dinner with friends," I smiled. Dinner with friends indeed. I could have said: 'yes, Mr Darcy, I'm planning on a big night having sex with my two friends: a threesome, you know?' Of course, I wasn't going to say that, but then again how preposterous would it really have been to say such a thing? After all, I was talking to a man whose cock had been inside me only last night... This truly is a strange world.
I thought on all this as I got into the cab that would take me to Wendy and Roger's place. I thought on this as I sat in the back watching the taxi driver control the car from the driver's seat, noticing that he wasn't that bad looking, for a taxi driver. Thinking of what may be to come, I kept getting this sense that somehow I had corrupted Wendy and Roger. I knew it was irrational, that whatever they'd worked out amongst themselves in their relationship was nothing to do with me, and likewise if their sex lives had somehow become supercharged as a result. Even so, the whole thing felt weird. Yes, I was looking forward to the night, although I had my apprehensions, but thinking about all that had happened to me over the past few months, and the fact that here I was sitting in a taxi being driven to my friends' place, so that we could, well, fuck each other, it just felt all so absurd, surreal. Like it was someone else's life. I seemed to have entered some kind of fantasy sexual realm. It was as though of late I had been acting out sexual fantasies that I would never have once contemplated.
But what sexual fantasies? I couldn't ever remember fantasizing about sex with an eighty year old man. Or a fat, disgusting tattoo artist. Or taking my clothes off on stage in front of hundreds of men. Or jerking off some guy I hardly knew in the back of a car. Or sex with another woman. Or a threesome with two guys I hardly knew. Or even with a couple, Wendy and Roger, with whom I was good friends. I had never thought of any of these things as fantasies, but here I was acting them out -- and more besides.
What were my fantasies? I couldn't think of any. I never much used to have sexual fantasies. Now things had changed. Not the fantasies, but everything else. Real life had changed. Something had changed in me over the past few months. My sexuality seemed to have exploded. Thinking about it in the taxi, it occurred to me that whereas in the past, I never much fantasized, daydreamed of sex at all, now I thought of it constantly. Sex is always on my mind. And most of the time, I'm feeling horny. Not really even frustrated; well, not most of the time. Just horny. I felt horny right now. I looked down at myself as I sat there demurely, legs crossed, but with most of my legs showing under the tiny, figure-hugging dress. Yeah, I looked hot. Sexy. Just looking at myself dressed like this; really, like a slut, it felt horny. It felt good. If things had changed, they had maybe changed for the better. I felt, well, I felt physical. Conscious of the blood cursing through my body. I felt in touch with myself. I felt alive.
Soon we arrived. I tipped the driver and got out of the car. I rang the bell and held my breath as Wendy opened the door.
"Hi hon', glad you could come," she beamed, giving me a little peck on the cheek, as she so often did. She seemed casual, relaxed, as if this was just a 'normal' get together among friends. She was wearing a short black dress and stylish pumps, not unlike mine. She looked great.
"Hi Anne," said Roger from the kitchen. "Like a drink?" he asked, brandishing a bottle of white.
"Yeah, thanks," I said.
"Here you go," he said.
I took the glass and made myself comfortable on the sofa. Wendy joined me and Rog sat on the other sofa opposite. The lights were off but they had lit some candles. The light from the candles gave the room a golden, almost romantic countenance.
We sat there in near silence for a few minutes, sipping our wine. It wasn't quite an uncomfortable silence, but it was verging on being so. After all, we weren't here for small talk. We were here for something else altogether. I decided I better start some conversation, if only to calm my own nerves. I was beginning to think already that this wasn't a good idea.
"Nice wine," I said, and it was. I took another sip.
"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" said Wendy with a nervous laugh. "It's Australian wine."
"Australian?" I said. "I didn't know they made wine there. I thought it was just a wild desert place with kangaroos and alligators. And that Australian TV show animal hunter -- Steve Irwin, is it?"
"Yeah, I've seen that guy," said Rog. "He's amazing!"
We all laughed.
Wendy was glancing across at me from time to time. She was smiling.
"You look great Anne," she smiled.
"You too," I said. She grinned at me warmly.
"You both look great," said Roger.
Then Wendy burst out laughing.
"Wah, what's wrong hun'?" Roger said, with a look of concern on his face, as if he had done something wrong.
Wendy was splitting her sides in laughter.
