My job was so fucking boring. I simply was not challenged in a meaningful way. My skills were being wasted and my overall vibe was one of stagnation and apathy. Over time, I became less motivated. I began to show up late for work once in a while. Then, when no one seemed to notice, I started showing up late most of the time. At first it was just a few minutes of tardiness here and there, but after a while it was 15 minutes, then 30. There was no reason for being late either. I woke up on time. I got ready on time. Maybe it was just me trying to eek some excitement out of the day, and being late was the most thrilling thing I could think to do that was harmless and wouldn't get me fired without at least a couple warnings. I completed more than my share of work, so it seemed no one cared.
After a couple months of my tardy behavior, I received an email from HR. They said they needed to schedule an appointment with me. I was a little anxious and a little pissed at first, but I was almost glad to know someone paid attention to me. At least this wasn't the same old boring thing.
When I replied to ask what the appointment was about, I assumed I would be reminded to show up to work on time; instead, the response mentioned sexual harassment. What?! I hardly even talked to people let alone said or did anything sexual in nature. Before I could even respond, a follow up email showed up saying that they apologized for any misunderstanding - the sexual harassment was not from me, it was directed at me. Phew! But again, I hardly interacted with coworkers, and no one ever said anything to me of a sexual nature.
My boss, Karen, may have ogled me from time to time but I didn't give it much thought. I chalked it up to my imagination. Although Karen may have stared occasionally, she seemed aloof and unattainable, so I didn't even bother trying to flirt. Hmm.
The only other woman I could think of was the HR lady, Sarah, who was emailing me. I made like one work-appropriate joke about data entry a few weeks prior. She laughed even though the joke wasn't very funny. It couldn't be her. Or could it? Did she say something to somebody about me that was sexual?
I emailed Sarah back and let her know I could meet with her but that I could not recall any sexual harassment from anybody. She completely ignored my denial of any wrongdoing. She emailed back and asked if "...1:00 PM this afternoon in Ms. Lemon's (Karen, my boss) office worked for [me]?" This was after lunch when I typically snoozed at my desk, but I agreed.
My curiosity was killing me, and something was not right. I just didn't know what it was. The email referred to my boss as "Ms. Lemon", but we all called her Karen. I could not help but feel I was being set up somehow with all the formalities and vague information.
I arrived five minutes early for the meeting so I could pretend punctuality meant something to me. The secretary, Jennifer, asked me to sit outside the office while I waited. I hadn't seen Jennifer looking so fashionable before - much cuter than I had remembered.
"I need to get out of my cubicle more," I muttered.
Jennifer must have heard me.
"What's that?" She asked.
"Oh, just talking to myself," I replied, hoping she didn't really hear what I said. Then I thought, "Actually I need to stay at my end of the building, so I stay out of trouble. These women are all trouble. I'm trouble."
Before long I heard the click of heels on the hardwood floor. Karen and Sarah rounded the corner and came into view. I will tell you; I hadn't really checked either one of them out too much before -they were usually behind a desk or something when I had seen them - but oh my god, talk about legs and pencil skirts and blouses and feminine curves. Karen's dark hair and glasses gave her a classic naughty librarian look and Sarah's blonde hair, pulled back in a tight ponytail, was all business.
As the women approached, they smiled and Karen said, "We'll be ready for you in a few minutes."
"Sounds good," I said with a polite smile.
I did my best to sneak a gander at their juicy butts as they walked by, but Karen totally caught me. I darted my gaze to the floor in a futile attempt to avoid any problems, but it didn't work. I was made. She smiled as she entered her office with Sarah right behind her.
The subtle scent of their perfumes enticed me, and I swore I could even detect a delicate waft of pussy... or maybe they had truffle fries with lunch. It's hard to tell sometimes. I started to wonder what was going to happen next.
"It has to be truffle fries - not pussy, right?" I thought. "Right?!"
Karen opened the office door and sent her secretary on an errand.
"When you're finished, Jennifer, feel free to call it a day and we'll see you in the morning," Karen said.
"Thank you. Have a good afternoon." Jennifer replied.
Then Jennifer shot me a look I could not quite decipher. It was as if she knew something I didn't. Or maybe she was expressing disapproval. At any rate, her expression made me nervous.
As I waited, I took the time to daydream and decide which one, Karen or Sarah, I would fuck if I had the chance. Karen's ass was bubblier, but Sarah had a more attractive face in my opinion. I wondered if they would do butt stuff and swallow. Then there was Jennifer. She was pretty enough I suppose; nothing magical but good enough. Hell, who am I kidding? I'd fuck any of them... all of them!
My internal discussion ended when Sarah opened the door and called me in. "We're ready for you."
I smiled, stood up, and walked in the office. Sarah shut the door behind me and locked it. Karen, who was sitting at her desk, pointed to a to-go box on the table.
"Want any truffle fries?" She asked. "I ordered too many."
"Oh. I thought I smelled those!" I replied. "Just ate though so I'll pass for now."
Karen, continued, "Let's get right to it. We're here to talk about sexual harassment in the workplace. It's a practice we take very seriously."
"Sure," I said. "But I don't have any complaints and..."
Sarah interrupted, "...And we want to keep it that way."
"So why am I here then?" I asked. "You two have been very elusive and..."
Sarah cut me off again as she took a step toward me, "As Ms. Lemon said, we take our sexual harassment very seriously."
I noticed they didn't say sexual harassment
prevention
when the topic was discussed - just harassment. I looked at Sarah as she spoke and noticed the faint shadow of nipples barely visible behind her white blouse. She took another step closer to me and I caught the vibe that these two were indeed into taking sexual harassment seriously.
"From what I read in the company policy," I said, "Any advances have to be offensive, unwanted, and pervasive."
