When I arrived at the tavern, I was trying not to look around too much. In my visualization it was them that approached me, strangers with familiar faces. I tried to appear confident and comfortable, but in all honesty I was neither of those. Sitting casually on a red faux leather stool at the bar, I ordered a Vodka and Soda and drew a deep breath. My lungs registered the dank sticky alcoholic air that I inhaled, the kind of air you can only breathe in a place like this. I was eavesdropping on snippets of the conversation that surrounded me, picking up a word here, a sentence there but hearing nothing of interest. I was listening to a conversation between two young girls that I was finding amusing, so I didn't notice the man approach me from behind. He smelt of an aftershave I couldn't quite place, it was pleasant but not overbearing. Sweet but masculine and it aroused me ever so gently. I turned into him, trying to see his face, but he moved ever so subtly to my other side. He started to speak
"She is blonde, sitting at the first table on your left past the window. She is drinking a margarita and wearing an emerald green blouse. Please go and introduce yourself Lily."
I pushed myself up from the stool, placed my right hand lightly over his and collected my glass with my left. I turned away from the man without looking at him, I had seen his face before and I knew his name was Mike. I made my way towards the window. My eyes were searching for her face. When I found her, she was sitting where he had described, facing away from me. I was sure it was intentional. There was no way for me to gaze upon her and then change my mind. I had to commit to an introduction to see her face. I paused behind her for a moment, calming my mind into a decision. It was too late, I had committed by coming here. It was too late to back out now.
I took the step that sealed my fate, turned to my left and placed my drink on the table before sitting opposite her. I gazed down at the condensation on my glass for a spilt second, watching the beads slide towards the green coaster. I could feel her eyes burning into me. I cleared my throat and slowly raised my eyes to meet hers. Her face was nothing from a magazine, yet individually; her features were nothing short of exquisite. The first thing that struck me was her eyes. The same brilliant green as her top, a similar green to my own, but with a sparkle that made her sweet and mysterious. Then her lips, pink, pale and slightly pouted, very kissable.
"Nice to meet you Lily" She spoke. There was noise all around us in the tavern, but it felt to me as if her voice had just broken an empty void of silence. It was nice to hear her finally speak my name.
"You are living up to your name." She continued. Shylily2009 was my screen name and that was all she knew me as. I quickly apologized, explaining that this whole situation was rather new to me, and that as much as I wanted her to think I was confident, I was scared shitless. Honestly is always the best policy. Chuckling to herself she agreed that she felt the same way. I extended my hand to greet her, and she offered me hers in return. It slipped into mine with ease, soft, velvety and warm. I felt her short nails scrape my skin and I notice that they are painted bright red, sexy.
"I'm Renae." She offers me her name as she did with her hand, smooth. Her hair flickers in and out of her green eyes as she moves; she takes her hand back and brushes it away. Leaving my hand dumbly cold in the middle of the table. I quickly withdraw it and place it in my lap. Claiming my drink with my left, I find myself gazing back at the table. Something needs to be done to make this conversation less awkward. If we are going to get anywhere I need to warm things up, a smile parts my lips.
"So Renae... Where are you staying while you are here?" I ask
"At the observatory, near the beach" She replies, with a hint of questioning. I know the place, its nice, and enticingly close.
"Do you like it so far?" I was never very talented at polite conversation. I always feel uncomfortably fake. As I wait for her reply I wonder if she feels the same.
"I like it far better now that I have finally met you Lily, and I can see what an attractive woman you are."
Blood rushes to my cheeks, unfortunately it doesn't take much to make me blush. It makes me happy that she finds me attractive. I want to repay the compliment, because I am attracted to her also, but I don't want to risk sounding like a parrot.
Our conversation eased in familiarity after that. It moved from a common politeness deeper into the anomaly of human desire. Renae started to divulge bits and pieces of her darkest wants and needs, the strongest of which was her dream of being with a woman. Before our words could dissolve into the realm of anything erotic, we were subtly interrupted by a male presence. He stood beside me, to the left and slightly behind. I smelt him before he spoke and I chose again not to look upwards to meet his gaze.
Seconds later we were strolling down the street in the cool night air. Mike had suggested that we make an exit and head back to their hotel. Renae and I agreed, it was nice of him to allow us some time to bond as friends; there was no pretence as to why we were all there, but still it was nice.
He playfully slapped her on the bottom and leaned in to peck her cheek. I was a small cute gesture; it made her smile and it made me jealous. I was in a relationship, although I was pretending not to be, for them and for me. A relationship, I don't know if that's the right word for what I was in. We could rarely relate to each other, we certainly no longer wanted the same things. He was always at work or at the gym, I guess I should have been happy that he was finally trying to lose weight, but I was also fairly certain he wasn't doing it for me. Maybe he is getting some one the side. He always did joke that he would eventually leave me for a hotter younger girl. He never would have thought I would be the one to actually do it.
I look up and see the stars, faint because of the lights around me, and try to pull my mind back to what is happening to me now. Even though I am trapped in a loveless marriage, I feel as free as a bird in this moment. I notice the shine in Renae's hair as it sways in the moonlight. Feeling brave, I move in close to her and mimic her husband's actions, patting her butt and kissing her cheek; I slip my hand into hers and press against her warmth. Renae smells so great, when she brushes her lips against my neck, I shiver.