~Brandon~
The shower looked confusing from afar, but when I got closer I noticed that there were two buttons. They had alien prints on the buttons and I had no idea what they were for. I pushed one anyway. Warm water started to fall down on me and when I looked up I noticed that the shower head was above me on the ceiling. I pressed the same button and the water turned off. Well that made sense to me, I guess. So that left the other button. What the fuck was that for? I turned the shower back on and scrubbed by body with my hands before I decided to press the second button. I was thankful that I did because it was a soap dispenser.
Thankful for my curious mind I washed my hair and my body using the same scentless soap. The one area I refused to go near was my pelvis. I was afraid that if I got to close I would touch myself and give myself pleasure when I was told not to.
I don't know why Xe'Zhi wanted to talk to me. There was nothing wrong me...perhaps. I couldn't come up with any reason, at least not verbally. I knew exactly what was wrong with me but I was afraid to say it.
I was washing my hair when I felt the base of my neck. There was a scab. I knew that was where the translator was, Xe'Zhi told me about it so I wouldn't be worried. But to know that there was a foreign object in my brain was kind of creepy. But then again that happened all the time on Earth too. I got many needles. I have a nipple ring. I ate food. I used sex toys, none of those things naturally came with me when I was born. I guess the creepy factor is that I was right. I always had a feeling that there was Aliens, but to be right is a whole other story. To know that my best friend is an Alien is another story. To know that my brother is married to an Alien is just weird. He hated aliens; he got so freaked out by them that one time he fainted when we were watching Independence Day. How the hell did he overcome his fear of them to get pregnant and marry one?
"Brandon, are you almost done?" I heard from outside the door. His voice was so low, gravely and sexy. It was the voice I always imagined he'd have. Back on Earth when I rubbed my cock thinking of my lover that was the voice I always imagined it would be. And now...my fantasies no longer have a human male in them but an Alien one. What did that mean about me? Was I some kind of slut or a nut-job because I wanted this alien to fuck me as hard as he could? Was it a bad thing that I was turned on by the thought of him tying me to the bed and slowly touching me? I wanted him to bite me; I wanted to suck him off. When he was touching me, and I could feel his cock and sucking him was the only thing I wanted from him. But then...I don't want children. I don't like kids.
Men aren't supposed to have children; we aren't made to have children. We were made to help procreate but to actually birth one? No, that's not what we're for. I felt myself float away into my thoughts again but was helpless to stop it.
"Brandon, are you okay? I asked you a question."
"Sorry! I got lost in this wonderful shower of yours," I smiled. His words sent shivers down my back even though I was in a nice warm shower.
"You should probably get out the shower now. Breakfast is ready for you," he said.
*
After I got out of the shower I dried and walked naked to the bedroom, hoping that he was there waiting for me. I was slightly surprised to see that he wasn't. On the made bed there was a small black shirt and short shorts. They were a size too big for me and it made me wonder where he got these because he was way too big to fit them. Perhaps he got them from my brother?
I pulled the clothes on and walked out the open door. Xe'Zhi was at a table reading that small computer thingy that Ryan had as well. I took a moment to look at him. I know I seem to do that a lot but when you first arrive to an alien world you have a right to stare. I was amazed that green hair looked so good on him, but he had those weird clips in his hair. It looked like they were made to imitate pigtails, but they rested on his shoulders with the clips close to the end of his hair. I didn't like the glass clips, they didn't suit him because he looked so much better with his hair down and at rest. His eyes looked half closed because he was reading something and he had a cup of something in his other hand. Across from him he had a plate of food waiting for me. The light from a sun was shining into the room from a large uncovered window on the other side of the room. It was kind of cool to see space from outside your own window.
"Hey," I said giving a weak wave. I felt strange in these clothes, all I could say was at least the shirt was black. The shorts were really short, like if they were any shorter they'd be showing my ass, but around the waist it was too big so I was holding the shorts up.
"There you are." He gave me a puzzled look. "Is there something wrong with your clothes?"
I nodded as I walked over to the seat across from him. "The pants are too big." I said picking the fork-like-thing up to eat some eggs.
"Really? They are the smallest size your brother could find," he mumbled with concern in his voice, though you could tell he was trying to hide it. I was beginning to see that this culture was more of a 'don't show how you really feel' kind of deal. Me being a very emotional person may not work here.
"It's fine. If you can get me a sewing machine, thread and some needles I can probably tailor some of my clothes if not make them myself." I shrugged it off like it was nothing and finished eating. The food was great and I just couldn't stop eating.
"You can sew?" He asked. He had his iPod thingy on the table as he watched me eat. Only occasionally did he take a sip of what he had in his cup.
"Yeah, it was one thing that my mother and father was super against..." It hurt to say those words. But out of everything I did—my clothes, the fact that I wore makeup, my friends, and my artistic nature—they were really against homosexuals and men who could do feminine things, like sewing.
"Brandon, are you okay?" I looked up at him; he was starring right into my eyes. I looked down again and nodded. If I looked into his eyes again I would cry, and he's already seen me bawl. He needs a strong lover and not a weakling like me. I shouldn't cry because they couldn't accept me. I already knew about them...
"Don't lie to me, Brandon. I need you to tell me the truth if you want us to play. How will I know if you're hurting if you'll only lie to me? That is not a healthy relationship. Tell me the truth."
"I don't know what to say," I whispered. I heard a chair scrap the floor and in no longer than two minutes I was on his lap while we sat on the couch opposite of where we were eating.
"How are you feeling about your parents?" He asked. He probably was trying to judge how I was emotionally. Steven took it poorly and he was probably trying to see if I was the same. He took his hand and brushed it against my cheek.
"Honestly, I could care less about them." I said trying not to look into his eyes. It was hard to do though because I was straddling his lap and he was staring into my eyes.
"Don't try to be emotionless, Brandon. Men who cry—who can show their feelings no matter how weak they think it is—are very strong indeed. I need you to be strong and show me how you feel. Remember, we need to be a vocal couple." He reminded me. "How do you feel about them?"
I felt tears threaten to fall. They were prickling at the edges of my eyes just waiting to caress my cheek. It was painful almost because I knew that no matter how hard I'd try I wouldn't be right for him. I'd always be a small, twink like Goth boy who was hated by all his family members. Who was weak and couldn't hold himself together no matter how easy it should have been.
I wasn't right for him or anyone else. I could understand why my brother hated me so much. I was weak...
"I...I knew how they felt about gay people. But I wanted them to know about you because they're my parents. I just didn't think that they'd try to kill me!" I felt a tear fall down one side of my face. "When I think about it scares me! I could have died by the hands of my father...I-I just feel happy that they didn't try to kill Steven. He was always sheltered, and now that I know that he has a child in him..." The tears wouldn't stop falling now. "It's not fair! They'd rather have me dead because I'm the weird one! I'm the one who 'had no future'. Who was the freak of the family...I was the one they were willing to kill." By then I was trembling in his arms and the words wouldn't stop flowing. But yet, at the same time it felt good to have finally said it. It was killing me more trying to be strong, but that didn't mean that it was okay for me to be weak. "I don't want to die, Zhi! I want to be in your arms. I don't wanna die...I don't want to die...."
I let my face rest on his shoulder as the tears spilled, wetting his clothes. I felt his hand rub my back as I let all my frustration out. He rested his other hand on the back of my head, letting me know it was okay to let it all out.
Once I started to calm down he kissed the top of my head and lifted it using a finger. He made me look into his pupil-less eyes. For once I saw real strong emotions swirl inside them. Sadness, happiness, concern, even a little hatred was in there. But one emotion that really stuck out to me was pride. I could tell that he was proud of me. Proud because I faced whatever was sneaking inside me, because I showed him something he knew had to be shown even though it was hard to do.
"How do you feel now?" he asked, still holding my head in place.
"I feel better," I whispered. A tear ran down my face and his tongue slipped out of his mouth and he licked it away. His tongue was soft and smooth and a pale pink.
"Do you truly want to live with me? To be my partner, my lover and my friend? Are you willing to take the chance of getting pregnant to be with me no matter what?" He brushed my hair with his fingers. "Because there will always be a chance, no matter how careful we are. Do you understand? We can and will get through this, Brandon."
I started to cry again. It sounded like he was proposing to me, like they did in those chick flicks on Earth. Zhi was blushing, slightly but enough that you could see it on his white scaled face. I knew that his words meant more than what
I could comprehend. I couldn't speak, so I nodded. I nodded as I kissed the crevasse of his neck; I nodded when he lifted my head with both hands and kissed me deeply. I nodded as we hugged.
~Xe'Zhi~