It is morning now but I am up anyways. I am standing by the window as the first orange and yellow light of dawn peaks through the edges of the blinds of the window. Warm sheets of amber refract through the glass and cast their beams onto the bed, onto his body. Pete is lying there on his back, deep asleep, and I can hear him breathing. He is not as old as my father. The covers are mostly off and patches of light illuminate and fragment his husky form, deconstructing and slicing him into beautiful pieces, each one something to savor. His wide chest, soft but masculine. His belly is matted with soft black fur. His thick uncut cock, soft but full, leans sideways heavy on his thigh. He rolls over, and the sunlight weaves a tapestry of shadows on his backside for me to savor. My cock stirs. His smell is still on my body.
***
I did not understand that my cock was anything special until I was well into my twenties. It is not outrageous, but certainly big enough to get your attention when you see it. But I never really knew that. And this is of course owing to a cliche-- I had stayed in a high-school relationship until the end of college. It took us so long to transition from kissing to sex that by the time we were finally there she had no interest in me or having sex at all really. In retrospect I wasn't really her type nor was she mine. She never once came as best I can recall. But since we were friends we stayed together for a long time, until suddenly one day she realized we didn't make sense at all. She disappeared from my life after that and I'm not sure where she is now. I was twenty five.
A few months later I kissed a new girl for the first time in years at a party in an apartment two floors up in my complex. She was pudgy and had glasses and mousy hair. She was very cute and her thick body, her ass in particular, really turned me on. She kissed me back, something I hadn't experienced in some time. I squeezed her ass with my hands. I liked the way it felt. Our tongues explored each others mouths. Sparks and fireworks exploded before my eyes. It felt amazing. We were both drunk. She took me upstairs to the roof and sucked my cock. It was so hot, feeling her lips wrapped around me. When I felt myself about to come I started to pull out, but she forced herself back down and let the hot ropes of semen fill her mouth. She swallowed and then stood up and kissed me on my lips. We were in love.
It turned out she was a virgin. I wouldn't have guessed that from what happened. But I might as well have been one too, given how dead and dreadful my last relationship had been. The next day we fucked on the futon at her apartment. She came when her cherry broke. She came again when I kissed her gently as my cock bottomed out balls deep inside her tight slit. Once she got accustomed she flipped over and told me to fuck her like a dog. No one had ever let me do that before. We came together and I stayed inside her all afternoon, drawing circles on her chubby back and softly kissing her.
For a while we fucked a lot and came a lot. I became confident and proud of my sexual capabilities. I loved making her come. We experimented with stuff. Anal, rough stuff bordering on violent. She came so easy. Still, I did not know yet I had a large cock. I was her first, and so she had no point of reference. I assumed we were just in love and had good chemistry.
We got married. Too early and on a whim. My parents were mad. Her sexual appetite for me waned. She became bored with me. She was an ambitious and talented woman, more so than me. She cheated on me with her co-worker. He was bald and unattractive, thin and pale. But he was interesting she later told me. He had been at our house once before for drinks and I had let him have a taste of my Yamazaki 12. I was devastated when she confessed this to me, in tears. We fucked one last time, a penance. She came. I did not. She ended things. It didn't work out for her with him. I still wish her the best. I was twenty eight.
After that, I put relationships aside for a bit. I focused on my career -- I could be successful too. I committed myself to putting in long hours at work, and blew off steam at night by myself smoking pot, playing games, and goofing around on the internet. Sometimes I'd get horny, but mostly I was in a different headspace.
I'd go especially hard on the weed on Fridays. One Friday I found myself very stoned and started to drift well outside my carefully constructed workaholic mindset. I was fiending levels of horny. I hadn't fucked in at least half a year. My dick felt like a lead pipe inside my pants. I got naked and sat down on a bean-bag chair on the floor of my apartment. I hadn't really furnished it since I'd moved in after things had ended. I propped my laptop up the coffee table so I could spread out a bit and stroke. It had been a while and felt good.
I skimmed some porn websites but nothing really caught my eye. While clicking off of an ad, I accidentally redirected to a cam community website. There were a bunch of token-craving models and couples shaking people down for cash. Five tokens to lick ass. No interest in this whatsoever. As I moused towards the close-tab button, I hovered over a button for a sub-section. Exhibitionists. Exhibitionists? I clicked.
People, just putting themselves out there. Playing with themselves on camera. Some women, mostly men. All for free. And people were watching them, getting off. That must have felt nice to have people turned on by you. My cock ached and I was really high. So I tried it. Username: kukufu -- this was all for laughs after all.
I pointed my webcam at myself, from the neck down of course, and hit live. A broadcaster interface spawned in which I could watch myself on the left side and incoming chat messages on the right. It was odd seeing myself in this way on my own screen. A few minutes passed as I sat alone in the chat room, my naked body exploded into a stream of data reassembled as pixels right in front of me. With no face I found myself objectifying myself. My body looked nice -- I am short but have a strong upper body and wide torso, a bit like a gymnast. I am pale, covered all over in a soft red ginger fur. My full bush framed my rock hard cock and low hanging balls, my package flanked by my strong muscular thighs. I have always kept my hair natural, as it made me feel more masculine. I liked that feeling.
"Woof. Huge cut cock"
Someone wrote that in the chat. My heart raced.
"Mmm so hot. That dick is big."
Two messages became four, than eight, a geometric series of eroticisms started filling up the chat. People kept telling me how hot I was, and how big my cock was. They were mostly men and they kept saying "woof" and they kept going crazy for my ginger bush. All this attention was making me feel so desired and hot. I stared down at my hard cock in my hand and started to admire it. It was so hard and long right then, it felt like a tall boy in my hands. Its thick shaft pulsed, hot waves of lustful blood filling its member, pumping my shaft up harder and harder. My cock head was swollen and red, a stream of precum steadily dribbling out of its slit.
I hovered over the usernames in the chat. Some of them had their cams on too. They were jerking off to me jerking off. My heart raced again. A few of these men looked so sexy stroking themselves to me. I had never done anything with men before, but I had known since even middle school I was interested and curious about both men and women. I clicked a few cams that caught my attention. I could tell it excited them that I was watching their cams.
A chubby latino, fully shaved, small cock. "I want you to fuck me" he wrote, then came on himself. His camera turned off. A fit white guy, similar build to myself, black hair all over. His cock was rock hard and oozing too. We didn't say anything over chat, just enjoyed the view as we stroked together. A husky dark skinned bear with a huge shaved uncut cock. It looked so massive and beautiful in his hand. I loved how he stroked it, and I tried to match his motions on myself. "Fuck you might be bigger than me." he wrote.
I looked down at my cock and stroked it intently. My big cock. This was my big huge cock. I smiled. By now more than a hundred people were watching me. Surrounded by cams of men lusting after my cock and body, coming themselves, one after another while I just kept stroking on and on watching and gazing at their cocks. I had never felt so sexually powerful in my life.
When my orgasm came it was like a freight train struck me. Suddenly embarrassed, I turned the camera off and closed my laptop. I was twenty nine.
Fueled by reefer, I kept exploring this exhibitionist side of myself in the evenings. I was a little embarrassed about it, but I was also having some of the most fun I'd had in ages. I now knew I was attractive. I was hot, with a great body and big cock. I could stroke myself for hours and hours on end without coming, maintaining a swollen, dripping erection and full heavy balls that drew endless viewers who would nut for me, one after another. I would DM them and egg them on, entertain their fantasies. Some nights I had more than a hundred men come for me. It felt narcissistic, the way I was getting off. But at the same time, the idea of myself as beautiful or powerful had been starved for so long it needed this.
At the same time, I was starting to find myself more attracted to the male form. Seeing cam after cam, I started to acquire an aesthetic. Slightly older. Slightly soft and wide body. A bit chubby but still strong. Body hair a must. Most people didn't show faces but ideally some sort of scruff or beard always seemed hot. And ideally a big uncut cock. Something about that foreskin and a big bush makes a big middle aged cock pop for me. They were fun to egg on too. Experienced, older. Often they fantasized about bottoming for me. I imagined them smelling a certain way. Still these men were mostly just images to me. Things that I enjoyed seeing while I stroked. I kept my eyes peeled for these kinds of cams. By now I usually had hundreds of viewers every stream.
Pete2574 caught my eye as teasing the archetype. He wasn't naked. He was making me guess. He had a heathered grey v-neck t-shirt on. It clung to his soft torso, a little chubby. All white underwear with a striped waste band. The kind my dad had had. They were tight around his package. He seemed like he had either a big bush, a big cock, or maybe both. I was bullish on the bush given the dark curls of hair creeping out from his v-neck. He was watching my cam. I was completely naked.
"This doesn't seem fair." I messaged him directly. I watched him on his cam while I awaited his reply. He used one hand to rub his package through his undies. The other one started to type. He had wide, fat fingers.
"What do you mean? You being so beautiful?"
I blushed. No one could see my face turn red, but I blushed so hard I worried my whole body might start to flash pink.
"No silly-- me being naked and you not."
There's this funny thing with these webcams where there is a delay between typed conversation and the video itself. After I replied, he massaged his bulge for what felt like an hour before he reached up and pulled his shirt off.
Fuck. He looked so good in just his undies like that. Exactly like I was hoping. His chest was wide. He clearly took good care of himself. Had soft but noticeable defined pecs. A strong wide belly. Curly black hairs decorated him everywhere in big patches. HIs chest was full, his belly just a stripe down to the waistband of his underwear. Big curls of hot black hair spilled out from beyond the waistband, spreading out like a high tide. His nipples were hard and he reached up to give them a playful pinch. I could start to see the outline of his cock through those tight white underwear. It looked pretty big. Uncut I wondered?
"Woof. Did I say that right?" I chuckled to myself.
