Content/trigger warning: This series contains bullying, homophobic language, and non-consensual sexual acts, but they are integral to the plot and character development so please take them in context.
JESSE
You'd think after such a crazy day I'd be dead exhausted and would have fallen right asleep, but no such luck. I was feeling optimistic that all of the bullying would finally be over, but the more I think about it the more I can't help still worrying what that fucker is going to do. I know I'm not going to post the video, but if I were him right now I might be really desperate. If I were him I might be so desperate that I might even go so far as to try to kill me to make sure I don't post it. The thought makes my blood run cold, but I wouldn't put it past that bastard. He still wouldn't be sure that I didn't have some safeguard for if he tried something like that, but who knows what he's really capable of. The bloody nose and piss were the worst things he's ever done to me, but when pushed into a corner even the meekest dog can go full out crazy and this asshole is far, far from being a meek little dog.
After hours of tossing and turning I finally give up, check that the little 'uns are fast asleep, grab my towel and my knife, and head to the lake. Late night swims are always relaxing, and I even sleep on the shore overnight sometimes. The night is so warm that I don't even need to bring a blanket or anything. I've got my knife with me more out of habit than anything else, but given what happened today I figure it's better to be safe than sorry. I take care to wriggle through the brush as quietly as I can, although I can't imagine that that prick would be back here tonight.
I peek out from the cover still lying flat and low to the ground and squint in the dim light. The moon's not all that bright tonight so it's hard to see too clearly, but...
Fuck. There's someone lying down over there. Is it him? Can't tell from here...
Whoever it is they don't seem to have heard me, and the steady breathing makes me think the person's asleep. I silently finish pulling myself out of the underbrush, make sure I've got my knife ready, and creep over to the sleeping figure...
Damn. It is him. What the hell is he doing here?
Somehow I'm both surprised to see him and also somehow not surprised. Maybe he felt like I did, like we needed to be absolutely clear what the deal was. Like when enemy countries meet to parley for a peace treaty or whatever. I'm definitely not happy at all to see him again, especially so soon, but I was just thinking I would need to somehow make sure he doesn't try to murder me so I guess we had to talk sooner or later.
I creep a little closer and stand watching him for a minute. His brow is furrowed and he looks tense, and he's shirtless and wearing the same trunks as before. I know it's bad and that I'm a fucked up shallow asshole, but don't judge me too harshly for getting distracted and not being able to help but take a minute to admire his looks while he sleeps. I hadn't noticed them at all before today, but now that I have I've found out that he is really good looking. I notice his beard's gotten a little longer since last week, which I hadn't really noticed this afternoon. Asleep you'd never guess what an asshole this fucker is in real life, though.
Finally I know I'm just stalling and that I can't put it off any longer, so with a sigh I kick his side lightly with one foot, making sure I've got my knife ready.
"Hey!" I say to him, not too loudly since the night is so quiet and still, but loud enough to wake him up. "Hey! Wake up, asshole!"
The prick is instantly awake and starting to sit up, but when he sees me and my knife he pauses mid-movement. He holds his hands up in the universal "I surrender" sign, and I step back, pull out my phone so he knows I have it ready if he tries anything, and motion with my knife that he can sit up.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him curtly.
"What are you gonna do with that video?" he asks fully awake, his eyes warily flicking back and forth between the phone in my hand and me.
I pause and weigh my options. Tell him the truth? That I'd decided not to post it? No way, he wouldn't get it at all, and I'd be all the way back where I started. Better to use it as leverage.
"I want you to leave me alone. Completely. Don't ever get near me again." My voice is hard and decisive. Absolutely no room for negotiation here, and I'm holding all the cards anyway.
"Yeah, yeah, of course, man. Anything. I'll give you anything you want. I'll do anything. I can pay you money..." His voice trails off as he sees the dumbfounded look on my face.
"Give me anything? Do anything? Pay me money?" I echo incredulously. "That literally had never even crossed my mind, not even once. I just want you to leave me the fuck alone."
The prick looks surprised, and there's something else in his face... I don't know, like he's impressed that I'm not a calculating asshole like he is? The expression on his face changes again and becomes even harder to read.
It looks like he wants to say something but can't bring himself to do it or, I don't know what his deal is, but he just sits there silently just looking at me for so long that I have to prompt him. "Spit it out already," I say finally.
It takes another few seconds for him to finally speak.
"I... ..." Long pause. He clears his throat and tries again. "I've been thinking a lot today," he says slowly. "About all the shit I've done to you. I know it doesn't mean a whole lot for me to say it now, since you've got that video and everything, but I am really sorry. Really."
He looks at me with an open expression I've never seen before, and I feel like he's actually being sincere. I shrug somewhat uncomfortably. The floodgates seem to have been opened, though, because he keeps going.
"To tell the truth, I was goin' a little crazy, thinkin' that you'd post that video for sure. But I realized that I really did deserve it if you did. Not that I'm sayin' you should post it," he adds hurriedly. "Just that, I wouldn't have blamed you at all if you did. I'm really, really sorry."
He's still giving me that strange look again, and it's so intense that it's almost making me blush. "You're a really decent guy," he says kind of quietly. "Really decent. I really... I really respect you."
Fuck. I don't know why, but the way he's talking, it's so different from anything I've ever heard from him before, and the intense way he's looking at me, fuck if it isn't making my dick wake up. Don't let your guard down, I tell myself firmly. He might be trying to play you just so he can make a grab for your phone or for the knife.
He seems to be waiting for me to say something. I shrug again and retort somewhat sharply, "What do you want me to say? You think one apology is going to make years of bullying go away? Like it makes it all better? Fat chance. I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did. Not ever."
The asshole looks a little hurt, but he nods. He studies me again with those piercing blue eyes, like he's studying my soul. He's staring so long it makes me even more uncomfortable.
"You were never going to post that video anyway, were you?" he asks suddenly, catching me off guard. "You're too... too noble to do that."
"Noble? Fuck off," I say roughly. His perceptiveness has completely surprised me and I'm off balance, but I don't want to tip my hand at all or give him an inch in any way. How in the world did he guess? "You don't know what I'm capable of," I snap at him.
"I do know. You're... strong. You're the strongest person I've ever met. And you're... you're good."
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." By now I'm looking at him like he's nuts. He looks a little like his mouth has gotten away from him so he shuts up, but he's still looking up at me with this weirdly reverential look on his face, his gaze never wavering, like I'm a saint or some fucked up shit like that. "I'm only human, same as everyone else," I mutter finally, looking away from his face. I've been watching him carefully to make sure he doesn't pull anything, and what the hell, is he adjusting his crotch??
"Are you fucking getting hard again?" I can't help asking him in amazement. In the midst of this serious conversation and on top of everything else that's happened he's fucking getting hard?