Undercard A - A blowjob
The "smallest" guy in the entire room--of 300--must suck off a Randomly Selected Dude (RSD1). Undercard A is not over until the Randomly Selected Dude 1 cums in the "smallest" guy's mouth.
Rule 6
Undercard B - A butt fuck
The "largest" cock in the entire room gets to butt fuck a Randomly Selected Dude (RSD2). Undercard B is not over until the "largest" cock cums in Randomly Selected Dude 2s ass.
Rule 7
Main Event
The dude with the highest blood alcohol content must enter the ring with Randomly Selected Dude 3 (RSD3) & Randomly Selected Dude 4 (RSD4) for a 'no holds barred' fight club-type event which concludes when one of the three participants cums in another participants ass.
Rule 8
Regardless of the selection process, no one participates in more than one event per night.
Rule 9
No one is permitted to photograph, film or mention the names of the participants. Breach of this rule will lead to temporary, and perhaps permanent, cancellation of future events. Anonymity must be respected and maintained.
If you are still trying to follow the math and calculate the odds, it's a total of seven participants.
Four which are Randomly Selected (RSDs)and three which are chosen by attributes (small penis, large cock & alcohol content).
*A First Time for Everyone*
Of course, every person attends for the first time, at some point. So, if no one has told you about Undercard A, and you happen to be short or only weigh 130 pounds or your penis is unusually small, you are sweating bullets about what it means to be the "smallest" guy in the room after your first three drinks.
This is why so many dudes recruit other dudes to attend. Veteran attendees know the ropes and have been known to set up some small penis fellas to attend. Wimpy guys--especially noticed from locker rooms or urinal observations--not only get recruited, but find themselves on their knees for Undercard A.
If you have a small penis and it has been spotted while showering after a gym class or spotted at a frat gathering while openly peeing in the backyard...watch out. Guys with small dicks get recruited to Thirsty Thursday on purpose. Think of it like hazing.
Then there is Undercard B. No one has kept this secret. If you have a big cock, you either don't attend or you're so shit faced that anal sex with a dude is worth getting to cum in a tight ass, even if it's a dudes. Some big cocked guys like to go to T Cubed to boast they have the largest cock of the event, even though they haven't really interacted with the concept that their "winnings" is poking their tool in another guys' butt.
The Main Event is complicated. The layers of complexity of all the things in play here run very deep in a guy's psyche.
For instance, guys like to fight. And, guys like to best other guys. The hysteria around the raw overpowering is crazy. It's like nude cage fighting, but instead of getting choked (not allowed, by the way) and tapping out, the loser gets their ass tapped. A deep, humiliating repetitive penetrating tapping--like the deep tapping and pumping of a keg.
Many first timers aren't aware of the strategy of what three men in the ring even means. And the most inebriated guy--automatically selected as the reward for being the most drunk--usually misreads and underestimates the situation he is in. Which, of course, can be highly entertaining.
Winning the Main Event means humiliating your opponent: physically and sexually. It is surprising to see how many T Cubed Main Event participants--who purport to be straight--have no problem beating the crap out of their opponent and then enjoy being cheered on loudly as they fuck the shit out of the losers ass.
*Undercard A Observations From My First Year*
Month after month, I watched some pathetic guy with a tiny penis get on his knees to suck cock. But as the event grew in popularity, what also grew was the boldness in which the "smallest" guy in the room was manipulated by the randomly selected dude (RSD1).
The first few months were just simple, 'get on your knees,' blowjobs. But as repeat attendees grew more familiar with the format, the atmosphere changed.
One RSD1 tried shoving his cock into the "small" guy's throat. He wanted to be deep-throated. He eventually got his wish. The crowd loved it.
Another time a "small" guy was made to lie on his back and the RSD1 squatted over him. Everyone really liked that and many believed it affected the next month when a couch was brought into the ring and the "small" guy was made to lie down and tilt his head back. This couch maneuver started a whole deep-throat trend and, predictably, really freaked out anyone with a three-inch penis.
After two months of deep-throating another 'first' happened. A "small" guy got stiff while sucking cock. In front of everyone. His little penis--totaling maybe 3.5 inches--pointed straight up in the air.
At first, it pissed guys off. But with beer goggles on, crowds began to favor this show of insurrection as another form of pure humiliation.
The idea being that not only is your penis so dreadfully small that you'd honor a real cock by sucking it, but you got a puny hard on in the process.
Consequently, what also grew towards the end of the first year was penis size of the "smallest" guy in the room. The selected "small" guy was sometimes based on height (not penis size) and therefore just real short, like 5' 4"; or he was lightweight, like 128 pounds. In random months, penis-size was irrelevant. When the word got out about this, the monthly crowds became taller and heavier.
And other features of the "small" guy became more visible. One month a waifish dude with silky, long hair was chosen and when he stripped, his pubic hairs were nonexistent. And his pecker got real stiff when he sucked cock--it was like six inches.
Not only did no one seem to care, it felt like the crowd wanted more of this.
I'd observed a lot in the first year having attended every event. And at the end of the first year, I reached this surprising, unexpected conclusion:
Guys with small penises have subconsciously accepted a cock hierarchy. They know they are betas.
And that the spd--small penis dude--knows that in his lifetime, sooner or later he will lose his gal (or already has, lol), to a more well endowed alpha male. He'll get dropped, cheated on, cuckolded and/or even end up on his knees servicing a real cock. This event foreshadows the small penis dude's future.
*Undercard B Observations From My First Year*
The first time some guy tried to bolt was after being randomly selected (RSD2) to get his ass fucked by a massive cock. And after that guy got beaten up so badly, many of the entrants took to standing in front of the exits during the random drawings.
There have only been a few chicken shits. But it sucks when the Undercard ends with a default.
Keep in mind that just about everyone in the room could be the second guy chosen. And that it is very, very likely he will be an anal virgin. So, his anal cherry isn't just gonna get busted, it is going to get shredded.
So, it's not surprising that I've not ever seen a single guy who got their ass fucked in Undercard B or the Main Event ever show up at another Thirsty Thursday.
The first few ass fucks were pretty straight forward. The randomly selected dude would bend over and just literally take it up the ass. Always with their head down and just toughing it out and getting it over with. And then getting up to leave with visible signs of embarrassment from the humiliation.
But just as things were getting more creative with Undercard A, the same held true with Undercard B. And because the RSD2 was just submissively complying, the massively endowed cocked dude could dictate sexual positions.
Within six months, a RSD2 could regularly be seen in everyone's favorite position: rolled up into a ball--the yoga plow pose--where the RSD2 knees wear blocking each ear and their ass was pointed high while a massive cock plunged deep. In this position, the RSD2 would not only be looking up at their alpha but also at their own dick.
After a few months of the yoga plow pose, the new goal with Undercard B was to "Turn Out" the RSD2.
This term comes from a Fila Thi pledge hazing event where the extra long cock penetrates a man's internal sphincter at a rectal depth of approximately seven to nine inches. The cock head enters the sigmoid colon.
"Turn Him Out."
"Turn Him Out."
Became a popular Undercard B chant.
*Main Event Observations From My First Year*
As I stated earlier, many first timers aren't aware of the strategy of what three men in the ring even means. So it often starts with two against one with the weakest of the three getting preyed on quite quickly after being identified as weakest.
When two guys pin down the third, their ability to get their cock inside the immobile guy's butt is fairly easy. There has even been times when the two in power took turns fucking the ass of the loser.
And as you likely predicted, it's usually the shit faced guy who quickly becomes the weakest.
The dude who scored highest on the breathalyzer and whoops, boasts and taunts when he is first chosen. He ends up going home with a fresh load of male cum in his ass because he overestimates his prowess and then loses his stamina quickly and ends up losing.
Or the drunk guy's taunting gets under the skin of the other two guys who end up spit roasting the loser. Like the one time both guys made sure they each got a sloppy blowjob and each shot a huge load of cum in the drunk guy's mouth before the winner blew a load up the loser's ass.
With three in the ring, things can change on a dime. For example, one time a clearly physically weaker dude who was losing suddenly overpowered the middleman (the drunk). What happened was that who was thought to be the loser changed. The strongest dude backed away and let the skinny weaker dude run the show and he eventually came in the drunk guy's butt.
From there, variations began to emerge.
One time the grappling got so entangled and evenly matched that a fuck sandwich was created.
While the pinned guy was taking it up the ass from guy number two, the third guy slipped into guy number two's butt. One guy was fucking a butt. Another was getting butt fucked. The guy in the middle was giving and receiving (not receiving by choice, I'd add). Every time he pulled back to prepare his next thrust into the ass below him, he was backing himself onto the cock behind him, sending it deeper into his butt. He knew this couldn't last, but he couldn't get untangled. So, he weirdly just went for it. Thrusting hard to get his rocks off to win while riding the guy behind him so perfectly the HE lost. The guy in the back, the third guy, blew his load into the guy getting sandwiched. And he wasn't even moving! The middle guy rode his cock like he was jerking it off with his tight anal sphincter.
The crowd loved this but it's yet to be duplicated.
Another unique show was when one really strong guy who was an excellent wrestler and fighter basically beat up each of the other two.
At first, he took turns fucking each of them. Then he settled on the bigger and stronger of the two and fucked the muscular guy while pinning him full nelson in a standing position. The third dude sat and watched.
No one had ever seen anything like that.
I couldn't get the vision out of my head.
*My Number Came Up*
I think it was my 15th visit when I was first randomly selected. It was for Undercard B, so I drew the largest cock in the room. His name was Brad.
Now, the first thing I'm going to say is this: no one that I've ever hung around with ever shared or shed light on the idea that a cock in your ass can feel good. Why did I not ever know this?
In porn videos, the woman is often wincing--either out of real pain or acting pain. And heterosexual men taking it in the ass in porn are portrayed as submissive losers.
Admittedly, I haven't watched gay porn; my only observation experiences are from Thirsty 3rd Thursday. And most of the guys I've watched in person didn't give much of any indication that they enjoyed getting their ass fucked.
So, imagine my consternation.
Even though Brad's cock was huge, with plenty of lube it slid right into my anal cavity. Deep, warm, snug and downright incredible. And as he gently moved his hard shaft in and out, I sexually felt incredible. And when he reached a certain depth, it felt like he was fucking me inside through another sphincter. I became flush with excitement and moist with sweat. I looked down and my penis was in a perpetual state of semi-hardness like it wanted to be stiff, but didn't want to admit it. It couldn't hide my embarrassment though, as it was regularly forming a fresh bead of clear fluid at its tip expressing its approval. It was almost as if my penis was offering its homemade lubricant in honor of its pleasure. Like calling out to Brad if he needed more lube--to fuck my ass--my penis would continue to provide it.
My entire naked body was on display giving clear and obvious messages that it was overcome with intense pleasure.
My penis felt like it could explode from a mere touch, yet when Brad grabbed my dick as a show of superiority and the goal to humiliate me, my penis suddenly went soft and I could barely feel his tight hand attempting to choke my shaft.
All my secondary sex organs really wanted to me to get ass fucked.
It didn't take Brad much longer to spew his sperm in my anal cavity. The feel of the warm fluid made my limp penis get hard.
As is custom when you are on stage, you are permitted to leave after your performance. Which I did immediately. I was so embarrassed that I was thinking that I'd never be back again.
As I walked to my car I was experiencing a humiliating and weird side-effect getting fucked in the ass. My butt kept leaking sperm into my underwear. My hole was so stretched I just couldn't keep the cum seepage from dribbling out while I was walking.