Things Change

I woke up late the next morning with a minor headache and major regrets.

The headache was attributable to all the wine I'd drunk, the regrets to the fact that I'd had gay sex with my best friend.

Why, why, why had I done it?

I'm not gay, and until last night I never would have suspected that Jake was, either.

But when he'd come on to me, in the sexually charged atmosphere after our naked swim, I'd responded after only the briefest hesitation.

I tried to be mad at him for taking advantage of me while I was drunk and high, but I couldn't manage it. In my secret self I knew I hadn't been so out of it that I couldn't have stopped things if I'd really wanted to.

Why didn't I?

I made a stab at rationalizing my behavior:

A guy who lets another guy suck his cock is just taking advantage of an opportunity, because a mouth is a mouth, right? It doesn't necessarily signify anything deeper.

But if a guy sucks that other guy's cock in return, and eats that other guy's cum, he can hardly say he's a passive participant in the encounter, can he?

What unnerved me the most about my willingness to cross a boundary I'd never dreamed of crossing was that it came out of nowhere.

I could honestly say that until that moment in the lake when Jake's hard cock poked me in the side, I'd never seriously contemplated having sex with a guy.

But that one touch seemed to loosen something in me, some sexual impulse I'd either ignored or suppressed.

That I might actually be gay seemed unlikely, given my longstanding attraction to women, which I had no doubt was genuine.

That I might be bisexual was more plausible, surprising as it was.

It was also possible that this was just a one-time thing.

But when I looked over at Jake, still sleeping on the other side of the bed, I had my doubts about that, too.

Why? Because he had kicked off the covers during the warm night, and the sight of his naked body made my morning wood even woodier.

He lay on his side facing away from me, so I couldn't see that big cock of his, but it was hard not to admire his broad shoulders, well-muscled legs and -- God help me -- his firm, smooth butt.

I felt a twinge in my cock, which in these circumstances was alarming.

I need to get out of here.

I got up as quietly as I could, grabbed my boxers from the floor where I'd tossed them last night, and padded out of the room, closing the door behind me.

In the bathroom I willed my cock down enough to take a long piss. Then I washed my face, feeling another twinge in my dick when I recalled Jake spewing his cum on it a few hours ago.

I put my boxers on and went into the kitchen to put the coffee on. While it was brewing I poured myself a big glass of cold water and drank it straight down, trying to ease my dehydration.

When the coffee was ready I poured half of it into a mug and went out to sit on the deck. Although I was wearing only boxers I was fairly comfortable; it was warm already and would probably be a hot day.

I was halfway through my coffee when I heard the door open and Jake came out, carrying his own mug.

"Morning," he said, plopping into the chair next to me.

"Morning," I responded, but didn't look at him.

A minute or two passed silently. Finally Jake spoke up.

"You okay?"

I paused briefly before saying, "No, I'm not okay."

He took a deep breath.

"Look, Tom, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You're my best friend, and I don't want that to change."

I turned and looked at him.

"It has changed," I said. "How could things not change, after that?"

Before he could answer I went on, "And what was 'that,' anyway? I never dreamed you might not be straight, and I sure as hell was never into guys."

Jake took a long drink of coffee.

"I still like women, and always will," he said. "But I found out that sex with guys is fun, too."

I finally looked at him, stunned.

"When did that happen?"

"Well, let's just say I did some experimenting this last year at school."

"Experimenting? What does that mean?"

"Do you really want to know?"

I wasn't sure I did, but I said yes.

"Well, it started when my roommate Ted brought his girlfriend over one night. We all got pretty stoned, and after a while they got up and went to his bedroom. I heard them talking for a minute. Then she came back, took me by the hand and pulled me to my feet.

" 'I'm fucking you both tonight,' she said.

"I was surprised, of course, but I was excited, too, so I followed her.

"In the bedroom I asked Ted, 'Are you okay with this?' and he just shrugged, like he wasn't quite sure what to think, either.

"His girlfriend stripped off her clothes -- she had a magnificent body -- and lay down in the middle of the bed.

" 'Come on, you two," she said.

"Ted and I looked at each other again. I think we were both unsure about how this would go, but we got undressed. We were both super-hard by then, and I couldn't help but notice what a big cock he had.

"We lay down on either side of her. Ted and I took turns making out with her, then we were both feeling her up and fingering her and we got pretty worked up. Suddenly she pushed us away, moved to the foot of the bed and said, 'Before you fuck me, I want to see you guys make out.'

"I was shocked. I hadn't expected this and wasn't sure I liked the idea. I looked at Ted, and I could see he was thinking the same thing.

"But when we looked back at his girlfriend, she was fingering herself with one hand and pinching her nipple with the other. I was desperate to fuck her, and I'm sure Ted was, too.

"I looked back at him. He shrugged again, then scooted a little closer to me. After some hesitation, we kissed lightly.

"C'mon, do it like you mean it," his girlfriend said.

"We kissed again, and this time it was more like the real thing. I was surprised how much we both got into it.

"After we kissed she said she wanted us to touch each other. At first I didn't want to do it, but next thing I know Ted reached over and grabbed my cock.

"It felt great to have another hand on my cock, even if it wasn't a girl's, so I reached over and put my hand on him.

"We stroked each other a few times, and for a second I forgot the girlfriend was even there," Jake said.

"I was afraid she would want us to suck each other," Jake said, "but I guess she had had enough, because she scooted back between us. She made Ted fuck her from behind while she sucked me, then Ted and I switched places. We took turns fucking her for about an hour until we both came twice and she came about five times. Then we all fell asleep.

"When I woke up the next morning the girl was gone and Ted and I were in bed together. I got up and went to my room and slept until noon. When I got up again, Ted was gone. He didn't come back till evening.

"When he came in he sat down and we started talking. He asked me what I thought about last night. I told him the truth; that I had enjoyed it much more than I expected.

" 'All of it?' " he asked.

" 'All of it,' " I said.

" 'Enough to do it again?' he asked.

"I told him yeah, I guess I did.

"We moved to the couch and started making out and next thing I know we were naked and jacking each other off."

"Wow," I said. "I can't believe it."

"At first I didn't either," he said. "But the truth is we both really enjoyed what we were doing. After a while it felt completely natural.

"We got together a lot after that, especially after his girlfriend broke up with him."

My mouth was dry. It was hard to speak.

"Did you suck each other?"

He didn't hesitate.

"Yes, many times."

"Did you fuck?"

"No, we didn't take it that far."

I took a big gulp of coffee. In spite of myself, I was getting a hardon. I think Jake noticed.

"What made you think I'd be into gay sex, too?"

"Nothing in particular. You don't give off gay vibes, if that's what you're worried about. But I figured if a total hetero like me could try it and like it, maybe you could, too."

He paused.

"I wasn't wrong, was I?"

Ouch. I can't argue with that.

"Did you come up here planning to jump my bones?" I asked.

He laughed.

"Planning? No. But when the opportunity arose, I decided not to pass it up."

"Although the opportunity came only because you created it, by suggesting we go skinny-dipping."

He smiled, a little guiltily.

"Well, yes, maybe I tried to help things along."

"And now you want to keep this going?"

"Why not?" he asked. "We're alone, we're both horny, and no one will ever know unless you tell them.

"If you're really not into it, though, it's cool. I won't bring it up again."

My hardon told me that I wasn't totally uninterested in his offer, but my mind warned me to think it over.

"I don't know, Jake. I went from zero to 60 last night, and this morning I'm feeling some whiplash. I've done something I can't undo."

"Why would you want to? It's not like you committed a crime, whatever some people might think. But like I said, I won't pressure you. The offer is there if you want to take it."

He stood up.

"Let's make some more coffee and get some breakfast," he said. "I'm starving."

"Okay."

Breakfast at my family's cabin has always been a pretty serious affair, and I had decided to keep up the tradition even if it was just Jake and me. I made bacon and eggs and hash browns, and we washed it down with orange juice and another pot of coffee.

Conversation was a little stilted during breakfast, but not as bad as I feared. We stuck to safe subjects and after a few minutes the awkwardness -- my awkwardness -- drained away.

After breakfast Jake got into the hammock I'd strung up between two posts on the deck and in five minutes he was asleep.

I could have used a nap myself -- having had much less sleep last night than normal -- but I decided to take a walk down by the lake. I put on shorts and a T-shirt, grabbed a bottle of water and set off on a path that circles our cove to a point on the far side, maybe a mile away.

It was already past noon and warming up fast, and by the time I got to the point I had worked up a sweat. I took off my shirt, spread it on a bush to dry and sat down in the shade of a big pine.

Sipping at my water, it was hard not to start thinking again about Jake. The talk this morning had given me some perspective, and if I wasn't exactly happy about things I was at least less tortured about them.

I lay back against the rock and closed my eyes, hoping to rest my mind a little, but it was not to be. The first thing I thought of was Jake's body, naked in the moonlight, stroking his cock.

I started to get hard.

Damn.

Fuck it, I thought.

I looked around. Nobody was about.

I slipped off my shorts and kicked them aside. In a matter of seconds my own cock was totally erect.

I closed my eyes, took hold of myself and started stroking.

In my mind I replayed the scene from the night before, reaching for Jake's cock, stroking him for a few seconds and then lying back with my mouth open, waiting to take him in. I recalled the feeling of his cock sliding into my mouth and his precum flowing onto my tongue.

I stroked for a couple of minutes before coming hard.

When I opened my eyes and looked at the cum puddled on my chest and stomach I couldn't help laughing at myself.

What a mess you're in.

I lay there for a few minutes, letting my heartbeat slow and my breathing return to normal. The warm air and the smell of the pines soothed me a little.

After a while I plucked my T-shirt off the bush, wiped myself off, put my shorts on and scrambled down to the lake. Plunging my shirt into the cool water, I watched as the cum washed away.

After wringing it out, I put it back on and headed back to the cabin.

When I got back Jake was still asleep in the hammock. At the sound of my footsteps on the deck he opened his eyes and looked around with a confused expression.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"An hour maybe."

"What have you been doing?"

"Went for a walk," I said.

Jake sat up.

"What's on the agenda for today?"

"No agenda," I said. "How about we take the kayaks out and explore?"

"That sounds great," he said.

I felt awkward talking to Jake in this offhand way, like there wasn't an elephant on the deck, but he acted as if nothing was out of normal.

Maybe it isn't, I thought.

We made some sandwiches, grabbed towels and water bottles and carried them down to the dock. I stowed the stuff in the kayaks and we pushed off, heading eastward along the shore.

There are a bunch of cabins on this side of the lake, and a lot of people were about: kids splashing in the water off docks and little beaches, two older couples in canoes, and several other kayakers. The sights and sounds of people enjoying themselves lifted my mood somewhat.

After half an hour or so we turned the kayaks around and headed back the way we'd come. I wanted to show Jake one of my favorite spots on the lake, a secluded cove on the more rugged western end of the lake. In all but the driest weather a good-sized creek tumbles down the mountainside and forms a deep pool before spilling over a small cliff into the water.

As we paddled into the cove I noticed two kayaks pulled up on the shore in the very spot I'd intended to land. Whoever it was had probably hiked up the short path to the pool.

We beached the kayaks and headed up the trail. As we neared the pool I heard female voices.

My first thought was, "I hope they're hot girls."

My next thought was of relief that I still seemed to think like a normal, horny straight guy, despite the previous night's gay adventure.

The voices turned out to belong to two young women. They were sitting in a shallow part of the pool with their backs to us, and didn't hear us until we were nearly at the water's edge.

"Oh!" said one, startled, when she heard our footsteps and turned to see who was coming.

"Didn't mean to scare you," I said.

"It's okay," she said, smiling. "I'm just not used to seeing other people here."

"Neither am I."

She looked at me questioningly.

"You live here?"

"My family has a place on Deepwater Cove," I said.

"We're on Spruce Knob," she said, naming a cove about a mile further along the western shore.

"If you like this place so much, I'm kind of surprised we haven't met before."

"Yeah," she said, as if it wasn't much of a surprise after all.

She was not the prettiest girl I'd ever seen, but she had an open, friendly look and a lithe, athletic body that I found very sexy. Her long strawberry blonde hair was wet; she and her friend must have just had a dip in the pool.

The other girl was dark-haired and curvy, and perhaps a little prettier. Jake was eying her in a hungry way I had come to recognize.

Both girls were wearing skimpy two-piece swimsuits. I couldn't help but notice that their nipples were erect; not surprising, given how cold that pool is.

The sight of those nipples made my dick chub up, a fact I noted as another sign I hadn't gone completely over to the other team. I decided it would be wise to wade into the pool and let the cold water keep my incipient boner from getting too obvious.

After a moment Jake followed. We settled ourselves on a ledge facing the girls.

"I'm Tom, by the way, and this is Jake," I said.

"Alex," the blond said, pointing at herself. "And that's Katerina."

"Kat," the girl said.

Jake, who had been silent up till now, said, "Hi, Alex," then paused a beat before saying, "Hi Kat."

That brief pause was enough to signal his interest in her, and the slight flush on her skin showed that she took his meaning.

Alex noticed it, too, and gave me a bemused look.

Introductions having been made, Alex and I got to talking about our favorite spots around the lake and shared speculation about who owned the swankier places along the shore. Jake and Kat took little part in the conversation; Jake spent most of his time staring at her, while she tried and failed to avoid his eyes.

Half an hour passed. I passed out water bottles, for which the girls seemed grateful.

As the day warmed the girls got back in the pool. Alex and Kat started splashing each other, and then splashed us. Jake and I plunged back in, and soon the fight was general, with much laughter and shouting. When we got tired of that I brought out a joint, and the girls eagerly accepted our invitation to get high.

By then it was well into the afternoon, and I was getting hungry. Jake and I offered to split our sandwiches with the girls, and again they agreed.

All this seemed promising.

But after another 20 minutes, a stiff breeze passed over the pool. It suddenly felt cooler.

Alex looked up and behind us.

"Oh, no," she said.

I looked up. Dark clouds had formed in the west; a storm was clearly about to sweep in.

At that moment we heard a roll of distant thunder.

"We'd better get back before the storm hits," Alex told Kat. "Not a good idea to get caught on the lake when it's windy."

Kat looked disappointed. So did Jake.

He threw me a pleading glance.

I had an idea.

"Do you guys want to come to our place and wait out the storm there?"

Jake gave me a grateful look, and Kat was clearly willing. But after considering the idea for a second, Alex shook her head.

"We'd better not," she said. "If the storm goes on all night we'll be stuck there."

Which is exactly what I'm hoping for.

We quickly gathered our stuff and headed down the trail to the water. I tried again.

"If the storm passes quickly, would you like to come over afterward? It's still early.".

"I don't know," Alex said. "Maybe."

When we got to the kayaks I made one more effort.

"Can you at least give me your number so you can let us know later?"

"Okay," she said. "But I'm not sure it will do any good. We're in a dead spot for cell service."

We exchanged numbers. As we did so she gave me a frank look and said so only I could hear, "This sucks, I know. I would have liked to spend more time with you."

"Please call."

"I'll try to, but if you don't hear from me by 9, assume it's no."

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and got into the kayak. Kat gave Jake a lingering peck on the lips and climbed in. They pushed off and paddled away.

"Fuck fuck fuck," Jake said, watching them go. "Goddam storm."

"I feel your pain," I said, "but we'd better get moving."

As it turned out, Alex was right to be worried. The storm broke just as we neared our dock, and by the time we got the kayaks stowed it was pouring. We sprinted up the path to the cabin, but still got soaked to the skin.

"Think Alex and Kat are okay?" Jake asked as we went inside

"They should be all right," I said. "They only had to go half as far as we did, so they probably got back before the storm hit."

"God I hope so."

I tried to text Alex to check, but the message didn't go through.

I saw Jake shiver, and realized I was chilled myself. The storm had brought much cooler air with it.

"Why don't you change into dry clothes while I make a fire?" I said.

I got an armload of wood out of the box next to the back door. Luckily there was enough to keep a fire going well into the night.

While I was getting the fire going Jake went into the bedroom. He came back out in sweatpants and a polo. Once the fire was going I went in to change, but when I opened my duffel I realized with dismay that I'd forgotten to pack extra underwear.

Oh, well, I thought, Jake won't object if I go commando.

I put on sweats and a T-shirt, conscious that Jake's even being aware I was going commando made my cock tingle a little.

When I went back into the main room Jake was pouring bourbon into two ice-filled glasses.

"Where'd that come from?" I asked.

"Had it stashed in my bag for emergencies," he said, grinning. "And this feels like an emergency."