The Human Bearer
36.
Names kept falling off his lips. "Xeus... Xana... Florent..."
He believed he had to be dreaming because he only had a vague sensation of his body being immersed in a large mass of liquid, something viscous that made all his movements slow. But the pain he felt inside his chest was real. His brain kept replaying the same thing all over again. Before his eyes, Gamni Gafilos with little Xeus in his arms rose like an ominous column of alien flesh, throwing his large shadow over him, making him feel nothing but fear and hate down into the marrow of his bones.
"Riordan." The voice floated to him, and he struggled to open his eyes. "Riordan, come back to me." The hurt inflexions of the sounds he heard finally reached him.
It took him so much effort, to do a simple thing like this. But, when he did, his eyes fell on his master. Xana was watching his face with so much tenderness that he forgot his pain for a moment.
"No," he whispered, "he took him... the boy... Did you get him? Did you kill that bastard?"
Xana shook his head. "Easy, don't exert yourself. Your body still needs some time and healing."
Riordan realized slowly that his body was immersed in a large tub. The substance around him had to be seth. Nonetheless, he didn't have time to waste.
"We must catch Gamni, Xana. He has our boy!"
There was no reaction from his alien husband. Only his green eyes seemed to grow larger. Riordan felt a chill moving down his spine and began to tremble.
"Don't tell me... Don't tell me that he killed him!"
"Riordan, don't--" Xana struggled to keep him down as he made an attempt to push himself up and out of the seth bath. "Gamni Gafilos got away. For now."
"Do you know that he has Xeus? Do you realize it? What it means? Why don't you say anything? Why don't you say his name?"
There was nothing for him to read on that implacable handsome face. Riordan heard a hiss and jerked violently. It sounded like when Gamni Gafilos had entered the cell to torture him by taking away his son. He growled, low in his chest, like a wounded animal.
"Is he still in pain?" he heard someone talking.
"No, his physical condition has improved to almost normal levels," Xana explained to the newcomer, his voice even and void of emotions.
"Riordan," the other voice said with authority, making him turn his head.
He stared at Marn Savier, without understand who he was seeing. "You bastard," he hissed. "You!"
"Riordan," Xana said sternly. "Address His Royal Chancellor properly."
"Fuck you," he howled, "fuck all of you! My baby... where's my baby?"
Marn made the mistake of trying to touch his head. Riordan snapped and hit the hand trying to caress him.
"You did this! It's because you wanted to use Florent as bait!" The thought of the friend who helped him the best he could made him choke again. "Did you save him, too? Or is he of no use to you now?"
"Riordan!" Xana shouted at him.
"We brought him over," Marn replied, without showing a sign that Riordan's behavior was getting to him. "He shouldn't have survived a wound like that. But he did."
"And Xeus? My baby?"
Marn shook his head slowly. "He has fallen into the hands of the enemy. I'm sorry, Riordan. You are young. And Xana, too. You will have other--"
"What?!" He had pushed himself up and he was standing there, naked, seth pouring down on him, facing Marn with everything he got. "How can you even say such a thing? My boy is one of yours! Are you writing him off? Like he's nothing? I thought you cared about your offspring!"
He moved his eyes to Xana, and met nothing but that opaque look, and something else. As if Xana could barely bear to look at him. But of course. He had failed. He had nothing left now.
"Get out!" he began shouting. "Why do you even bother?"
"Your shock is understandable," Marn said. "But I must question you while your human memories of the incident are still fresh. Florent Kasido is still in critical condition and we cannot use him. You are our only chance to understand--"
"Understand this! I hate you all! I hate you..." He dropped to his knees in the viscous bath, his energy drained. He could only tell that he was crying.
"Riordan," Xana leaned over him, "if you only care about Gamni Gafilos not getting away with it, tell His Royal Chancellor everything you know."
He registered the way Xana pulled away and then disappeared from the room. He had nothing left. Xana acted like he didn't care about the lost Xenolite, but it was something else entirely. A terrible tremble took over his body. That was where they drew a line, right? He had lost the boy, so Xana didn't care for him anymore.
Marn pulled him into his arms, a gesture that seemed so out of place seeing who the one making it was. Riordan felt his head pressed against the Xeno's hard chest and let all his pain take over. There was nothing for him to do, Xeus was nowhere he could reach him, kept by arms that didn't deserve to hold him, watched over by hateful eyes.
He slammed his fists against Marn's chest, but the Xeno appeared impervious to both his cries and physical assault. He just held him close until there was no will left in him and broke down in a prolonged sob that didn't seem to have an end.
Help me, Riordan.
He shook his head although Marn was only reaching him telepathically.
Help me. Don't protect our enemy. Xana's son will be avenged.
"Don't talk about him as if he's dead!"
Marn grabbed his arm before Riordan could hit him in the face.
"Enough." His voice was cold and measured. "Your human foibles have been entertained enough. I do not wish to force you to deliver all the information I need. I am still asking."
"He's not dead," Riordan whispered. "Florent said... he saw what the general was thinking... he won't kill Xeus."
"It doesn't matter. We will have to destroy the general's ship."
"What?" Riordan stared into the stern eyes, not understanding at first. "No. Xeus is there. Do you want to kill him? Kill my son?"
"He is Xana's son," Marn threw at him. And then, he appeared to show a shadow of understanding. "Not yours only. Xana's pain is even greater than yours."
"Is it? He just walked out on me! Don't you think I understand? I failed, Marn. And I know it. But please, I beg you," he whispered as his thoughts began to take shape. "Keep me around even if I'm useless as a bearer. I'll train, learn, whatever it takes. I want to help you catch that bastard and make him pay. Let me get my boy back. Just... please, don't kill him."
"Let's start with this," Marn said gently. "Tell me everything you remember. I know it's hard, but please make the effort."
"Of course," Riordan agreed, trying to chase away the tears in his eyes. "I will do that." Marn didn't contradict him that he was finished as a bearer. Xana's bearer. Regardless of what Marn had mentioned in the beginning, about having other Xenolites together. He couldn't see himself doing that. Not that. He couldn't abandon the Xenolite he hadn't gotten the chance to hold in his arms. If it was the last thing he did, he would get the boy back. Even if it cost him his life.
Marn began probing his mind and Riordan didn't offer any sort of opposition, replying all his questions. The only thing he didn't say was how Florent had survived. He didn't tell Marn about the sangar Cario made. It was a primal instinct to keep that hidden from His Royal Chancellor. Because Riordan believed now that Cario could make something not even these Xenos could. Florent shouldn't have been alive? That was what they had said. But he did. And it had to be because of that substance Cario in his stroke of genius had prepared.
That was all he needed. A shield from pain, and he would jump through the cold empty space to reach Gamni Gafilos and strangle him until there was no life left in him.
***
"Kyle," he said once he saw the bot.
"Master Rio." Even Kyle showed more humanity in how he said his name, compared to Xana, the way he had been when leaving the room and him alone with Marn.
"I came to tell you that I will live somewhere else on the ship. His Royal Chancellor agreed. But you've been my friend and I want to do this. To tell you goodbye in person. Of course, not that you won't see me around... but you'll probably have another bearer in your care."
"Master Rio, this can't be. Master Xana needs you."
