This is a true story.
So, it's been a rough year for me. I ended my almost decade-long marriage, marriage that I had never been happy in. I had spent the past twelve months squabbling in court with my vindictive ex-wife over child support and the custody of our two children. I had a good lawyer, but he had taken me for every cent I had. Doesn't matter. You can't put a price on freedom, and only the unfortunate among you will understand how lonely it can get, being trapped in a loveless relationship.
I am a guy in his mid-thirties, 5' 11" tall on my best days and weighing 170 pounds. I'm decent-looking with a so-so body and as straight as they come. I have never found guys attractive, not even in the slightest. And yet, I had been having these crazy fantasies for a couple of years now of having sex with a dude. If I had to guess, I would say it's the product of years of watching porn.
The thing about porn is that it grows duller over time. Nowadays, I am barely turned on watching plain old vaginal sex. Or maybe I am turned on, but not to the extent that I'm looking for. It would take too long to really get myself going, and I was never the kind of guy who enjoyed watching porn for hours at a time. I pull my pants down, put some shit on, and five minutes later, I want to be relieved. It's sort of a chore for me, I guess. Like brushing my teeth.
With time, I found myself growing desensitized by porn. Conventional sex wasn't cutting it for me anymore. I needed something different, more exciting, even if I wasn't necessarily into that type of sex. So I had started watching gang bangs, cuckolding, BDSM, humiliation, grannies, midget chicks getting pounded, you name it... if it's on the internet, I've watched it. It didn't take long until I had graduated into some seriously fucked-up sex, all in pursuit of quick and explosive orgasms.
I guess that's when it really escalated for me, when I found myself watching trannies. I was really into it, as some of them are super-hot. At times, I can almost imagine myself being in a relationship with one. Moving on from trannies to full-on gay was quick and painless to my surprise. Again, I wasn't turned on by the guys. I was turned on by the taboo (and yes, most straight guys find gay sex taboo even if modern times dictate otherwise).
And so, after over a year of beating off to tranny/gay porn, I had begun to fantasize about having sex with a guy. More accurately, I was fantasizing getting fucked by a guy. I wanted to suck a dick, too, and swallow cum. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. I'm seriously not into dudes, and I would feel disgusted with myself the second I finished coming. But I did want to do those things, if only to satisfy this untamable want.
In my fantasies, I am always bottom and sort of feminine in my behavior. I would make up many scenarios of guys seducing me and such. My favorite is when I meet some dude in a club. He pretends to be straight, even though I know he's gay. He invites me to his place to chill with a drink. In his place, we would kick back on the sofa and watch some movie, and the guy would gradually scooch closer.
I'm always intoxicated in the fantasy, and the guy would make sure I'm pretty loaded before he makes his move, like stroking my shoulder or something. After he sees that I ain't stopping him, he would take it further, like kissing my neck and stroking my thigh. After a few minutes, he would unbutton his jeans and make me blow him.
While I am reluctant, I do it anyway, and do it right. I deep-throat him, tease him my tongue, look up into his eyes the way girls do. I'm so feminine in the fantasy, and I have no clue why, but it feels so good. When he comes in my mouth, I swallow. I also make those sexy humming voices while I take his seed down my throat. When he's done, he pulls me back up onto the sofa, and we make out.
My head is on the armrest, and he's on top of me, dry humping me. He's shirtless, and he takes my shirt off, as well. He pulls down my jeans and boxer briefs, and I let him, although I'm very nervous and apprehensive. He takes out the lube from the table drawer and coat his raging-hard cock. It is at this point when I put up some weak resistance, telling him I'm straight and that I'm afraid of being penetrated.
He doesn't care. He never cares. He only cares about shoving his painfully-hard cock into my tight virgin brown hole. He lies back on top of me, and we kiss again. I'm too intoxicated to stop it, nor do I really want to. I want him to relieve himself inside me. He slowly enters me, and I groan and whimper, but take him like a good girl. I don't want to disappoint him, like it's extremely important to me to please him.
He fucks me, slowly at first, but then harder and deeper. I'm too tight and unaccustomed to having a cock inside my ass, and so the experience is sort of mixed for me. Still, I don't hold him back. I let him use me, use my butthole, until he comes inside my bowels. He pulls out, and his plentiful jizz leaks from my sore little anus. Later on, he might fuck me from behind while I lie on my stomach. He's insatiable, and I'm super-raw, and yet, I can't say no to him. He needs to be satisfied.
All of my fantasies are in the vein of that one, but sometimes the guy brings on a friend. They take turns on me. While one thrusts into my ass, I pleasure the other with my mouth. Lately, double penetration has also crept up into my fantasies. One common denominator in all of my fantasies is that the guys never care about me or my cock. They don't blow me or anything. They just use me like a cum dumpster. They're also very masculine and dominating while I'm submissive, just a feminine little slut.
You're probably wondering why I just told you all of this. Well, if you read my opening sentence, you know where we're heading.
Because the divorce has pretty much left me broke, and because my day job isn't particularly lucrative, I had taken up cleaning houses a couple times a week to help pay the bills. It makes a lot of difference now that almost half of my salary goes to child support.
Anyway, there this gay man I clean for. He's in his early fifties and very much the gay stereotype. He's kind of feminine and unattractive, though I could definitely do worse. We're the same height and appear to be of the same weight. His hair is grayed out, though, and he wears spectacles.
The first time I cleaned for him, he was very nice to me, buying me lunch and making me coffee. I knew he would love to have sex with me, but I was still fighting myself. I mean, was I really going to have sex with a
dude
? I don't find even the best-looking men attractive, and I most definitely wasn't finding him appealing. Still, I had an itch that didn't want to go away.
The second time I cleaned for him was a month later. Again, he was super-nice and stuff, and I decided that if the opportunity arose, I would do it: I would have sex with a man. I finished cleaning his place after a few hours, and he suggested we'd have lunch together. I wasn't very hungry, but I agreed after he offered me a cool beer. Before I opened the beer, he asked me if I wanted to take a shower.
I knew where he was going with this, and so I... agreed. I took a shower while he set the table. I made sure I was clean for him, soaping my asshole several times, trying to stretch myself in the process. I was so tight, and it hurt sliding two soapy fingers up my butt. As hard as I tried I couldn't do it. We sat down for lunch minutes later, and I consumed three of his beers. Those were 10% alcohol each.
After we fed, we moved to his living room and just watched TV. I was fairly intoxicated already, and that third beer hadn't even started working. I knew I'd be hammered in like twenty. His sofa was L-shaped, and I was lying on the short end of it. He was sitting to my right, just next to my head that was resting against the pillows. I would brush my arm against his knee whenever I reached for my beer. I could tell it affected him, and minutes later, he started rubbing my arm, which was super-lame and just awkward, but I knew he was only testing the waters.
He kept massaging my arm when he saw I wasn't stopping him. I wasn't even looking at him. I was staring at the TV, but I was too drunk to really focus. Instead, I concentrated on that awkward massage while asking myself some tough questions:
"What the fuck am I doing? How the fuck did I get myself in this fucking situation? Why am I such a fucking underachiever? Where do I go from here? How can I start making some serious money because my life is so shitty at the moment? Why is this 'arm-massage' so fucking lame? Kinda grosses me out..."
While I was pondering all of this, he was growing more brazen, and after a while, he started stroking my collarbone under my shirt. While I found no answers to any of those questions, I was able to answer one query at least: I was going to have sex with him. I had to. He was all grabby and fuck, so hot for me now. I couldn't turn him down.
I called out his name. It was the first word either of us had said since he started touching me.
His hand froze on my collarbone. "Yeah?"
I could sense how tense he was. He knew I was straight, and I guess he didn't know how I was going to respond to all of this lame-ass fondling. Little did he know that today was his lucky day.
"Do you want to fuck me?" I asked plainly, staring blankly at the TV.
Even though I never looked at him, it wasn't because I felt ashamed. One does not feel ashamed when inebriated. I was simply bored, and he was going too slow for me. I was never going to allow this to be relegated to a pathetic make-out session.