What is it about the unobtainable things in life that makes them so alluring? Is it the thrill of the chase, even when we know that it has a foregone conclusion? Is it the air of mystery, the spirit of the unknown that draws us to these illicit treasures like moths to the flame? Everyone says that the forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, but why?
These thoughts, and many more like them, were running through my head when I first laid eyes upon Tommy. Thomas Bryan. The new senior on campus, intelligent and athletic, completely unobtainable.
I knew that he'd transferred over from one of the most conservative schools in the state. I knew that his father was a minister in one of the most fundamentally right-wing churches in the area. I knew that he'd never had a serious girlfriend, never done anything sexual, and never said anything about gays except that we were devilspawn sent to Earth to corrupt the world's children into a life of sin.
But when I let my gaze fall upon his delicate features, his feathery black hair and bright, eager eyes, when I traced his perfectly proportioned body and lightly tanned skin with my eyes, I wanted him.
At the first available opportunity, which was lunch on his first day, I went up to him and, holding out my hand, welcomed him to our school and introduced myself.
He reached out to shake, but upon hearing my name stiffened and dropped his arm back to his side. "I hear you're a faggot," he said quietly enough that no one else could hear his words. "I hear you're a flaming homosexual, and I don't want anything to do with you."
I smiled as brightly as I could and murmured something about not judging people before you get to know them, but he had already gathered his tray and walked off. But this disastrous first meeting, far from crushing my spirits, had only strengthened my resolve: I wanted him more than anything or anyone else, and I knew that I would have him or die trying.
For the next few days, it looked like I was going to die trying. I'd made no secret of my sexuality to the student population, and while the majority of my fellows were either supportive or indifferent, there was a small but determined core of anti-gay sentiment... and they, naturally, were the ones my Tommy gravitated towards. They did not take kindly to the idea of someone like me getting to know their new idol, and while I was prudent enough to flee before things became too serious, I knew that it was only a matter of time before they would grow tired of mere pushing and shoving.
So I waited, and watched, and listened.
Tommy, it transpired, spent very little time with friends, and tended to go straight home after school most days. His mother worked full-time, and while his father was generally there to greet him (he preached every morning and every evening, but spent the afternoons writing his next sermons) he took frequent trips out-of-state to go to minister's conferences and those sorts of religious conventions. This meant that, for all intents and purposes, he was alone at home from 4:00 in the afternoon until 8:00 at night on the weekdays.
I am not normally a violent person, nor do I generally resort so quickly to criminal tendencies, but my infatuation with young Mr. Bryan had reached a level of obsession. I could not see him or even think of him without becoming utterly aroused, and I knew that such a violently homophobic person would never consent to anything I had in mind, so I knew that I would have to take drastic action to demonstrate the depth of my affection.
One bright sunny day, I ran off campus as soon as the bell rang, heading straight for the house I had discretely followed Tommy to so many times before. I knew his father was off on one of his trips, as I'd watched him drive to the airport the previous night, and I'd overheard his mother calling to Tommy that she would be arriving home rather late. As I said, I do not normally take such routes to obtain information, but I was far beyond the point of desperation by now.
Letting myself into his luxurious two-story home with the spare key hidden under a potted rhododendron, I prepared for the object of my affection's arrival with my heart feeling like it would burst out of my chest. Finally, three minutes before four, I was ready; as I took up a position just beside the door I heard casual conversation coming from down the block. This gave me a moment of trepidation, as I was not prepared to deal any of Tommy's violent and brutish friends or, indeed, for anyone other than Tommy himself, but after an exchange of farewells the group dispersed and my love walked down the driveway alone, rummaging in his pocket for his keys as he did.
No sooner had he opened the door than I leapt forward, clamping a rag soaked in chloroform across his perfectly shaped pink lips. He went limp without a struggle, and I bore his warm weight gently to the floor, feeling as though electricity was coursing through the spots where his skin touched mine... but no, not yet, I told myself. You must not take advantage of someone while they cannot speak up for themselves.
Moving his unconscious body slowly and carefully, and trying hard to ignore the swelling in the front of my pants, I deposited Tommy in one of the comfortable old armchairs in the recreational room, which was windowless and filled with the expensive electronic toys that I knew most boys my age would have goggled at, but I had eyes only for him. Extricating the length of soft cord I had brought with me from my pockets, I swiftly tied Tommy to the chair, not tightly enough to be uncomfortable but not loosely enough that he would be able to wiggle his way out.
As a final precaution, I knotted a kerchief around his eyes, although why this seemed so important to me I cannot tell you. It just felt like the right thing to do.
I waited, carefully keeping my hands at my sides and trying not to think of what might happen if someone walked in on me. On us.
Gradually, as if waking from a deep sleep, Tommy regained consciousness. He lifted his head and tried to look around; it wasn't until he tried to rub his eyes that he realized that he was tied down, and it wasn't until he jerked his hands toward his naked crotch that I knew he'd realized he was wearing nothing but the cords that bound him. "Who's there?" he asked, fear readily noticeable in his sweet voice.
I said nothing and simply looked at him, admiring his form.
"Who's there?!" he shouted in a panic.
Please keep your voice down, I said calmly in a tone slightly higher and airier than I normally used, still gazing rapturously at the gentle curves and hard lines of his chest, his shoulders, his defined abs. Yelling upsets me.