Some guys my age will know what I am saying when I mention about loneliness and what it can do to a guy.
In my case losing my wife after 30 years of marriage was a real shock and I felt that I could never find another like her.
And anyway I felt I did not want the commitment of another involved relationship.
But to be frank the sexual urge was still there and I had to live with it for nigh on seven years, because during that time my wife had developed cancer which meant that her sex drive was virtually gone.
It had never ever occurred to me about linking up with another person, maybe evena guy; but then I had never had reason to explore my sexual leanings before, having been quite happy with my wife until the illness set in.
But since I was being both logical and practical in coming to the conclusion that a male sexual relationship would not incur too much commitment if arranged on a strictly casual and mutual basis, perhaps like someone of my own disposition, who like me missed the pleasure of sex and the like..
I took to sitting in the local park thinking that maybe another guy would join me and we might get talking - which would develop onto other things and ... well you know how it is..
My fantasies were beginning to run away with me. How it would be with another guy? and wishing it would be soon. I certainly didn't fancy hanging around the gents toilets and I could not imagine myself as being a 'toilet basher' if you know what I mean.
I wanted sex but I also wanted some sort of companionship - not just a quickie in a toilet cubicle and taking a risk of being caught with my trousers down.
But they say patience is a virtue and one day, with the help of the utopia chat room online, I was able at last to arrange a meeting with a guy ten years younger called Ron who actually turned up. Not like a dozen others who said they would and didn't. How infuriating is that!? But talking about it to Ron he replied that guys like that were of no use anyway and weren't worth bothering about.