I open my eyes.
Alone.
A cold, familiar pain grips my chest.
It really sucks, ever since he's come back, it's started happening again.
The pain when I wake up, like my heart is being clenched in a man's hand.
It's like... longing?
That doesn't seem to be the right word.
It's so much more intense than that.
Thirsting?
Well, there's plenty of that.
Suffocating?
That's pretty close.
The pain in my chest is like a lump of ice pressing against my heart.
I can feel a panic rising in me.
Air.
I need air.
...
I need him.
***
I tiptoe past Heather's room.
The door's slightly ajar, I hope she's at work.
Still, better safe than sorry.
Ozzy's back in his old room at the end of the hall.
I creep silently down the narrow hallway, quietly slip into his room, and shut the door behind me.
He's sleeping, peaceful.
I know it's not normal, not healthy; it felt like he died, when he left.
It felt like a miracle when he came back.
I crawl into bed beside him.
He startles, eyes opening, bleary and delirious.
"It's just me," I whisper.
Recognition clicks.
He relaxes and his arms escape the blanket and grab me, pulling me on top of him.
"Peep," he breathes into my ear. "Hey."
His breath is hot against my cheek.
I try to wiggle off him but he won't let me. I hope I'm not crushing him.
"Go back to sleep," I whisper. "I just wanted to be with you."
"No way. None of my dreams are this good," he whispers back.
He kisses my neck.
"Good morning," he says.
I kiss his forehead.
"Good morning."
He throws the blanket over me and rolls on his side. I slide onto the mattress beside him. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, enveloping me, burying his head into the crook of my neck.
He hikes his thigh up, resting it on my hip.
I wrap my ankle around his ankle and rest my hand on his bicep.
We lay tangled up in each other, warm and still.
I snuggle in, feeling slow and heavy again.
I think I'll fall asleep if we...
But then I feel his cock jab my thigh.
"Oz?"
He sighs.
"Sorry. It's just morning wood. It'll go down in a minute."
I rub little circles on his bicep as I think.
"I mean... seems like a waste?"
His eyes open slowly.
He looks wide awake.
"Oh! Are... are you sure?"
"I don't want you to feel like you have to, since you just woke up-"
He sits up, and pulls me onto his lap, tangling the blanket up between us.
I spread my legs around his waist, and feel his cock pressing against my shorts through the blanket.
His eyes are still kind of puffy from sleep but he grins at me.
"I want to."
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.
He 'hmm's' softly and his hands move to my lower back, rubbing me up and down.
"Peep, you're so hot. You know that?"
I smile and kiss him.