This is a true story about the first time I sucked a big black dick.
I was in my mid twenties and just got my first apartment after college, but it was a big of a low point in my life. My long term girlfriend left me right when we were supposed to move in together. We were together since college, about four years at this point, and we were supposed to split the rent, leaving me financially overstretched. I was broke and depressed, I hated my job and felt sorry for myself about the whole situation.
I coped by drinking, mostly by myself since I couldn't afford to go out often at that point. I was always a bit of a drinker, but at that point I was basically getting drunk every night. I also ended up watching a lot of porn, and jerking off nightly. It was mostly basic stuff at first, lots of amateurs, and a bit of interracial. Nothing too crazy. But I ended up gravitating towards interracial. Big black dicks on little white girls, especially the amateur and rougher stuff. Before long this was 90% of the stuff I was watching and came to.
About five weeks after the breakup, I saw her posting online about a new guy she was hooking up with. I was devastated. It was this big black guy from her gym. She had a lot of saccharine posts about their new relationship, and it made me really upset that she was seeing someone so quickly. I don't know why, but it being this guy that she knew while we were dating made it all the worse. I cyberstalked his profile and saw that he had a history of dating white women, and had multiple girlfriends in the last couple of years.
For some reason it made me so mad that she was dating this black guy. I wasn't racist or anything, but seeing that he had been running through all these hot white girls made me really angry. That night I got really drunk, and did my usual jerk off session in front of the computer, cumming to an interracial scene with a hung black guy and a brunette with a great ass. After I was finished I felt ashamed of my self, pathetic and small.
About a week later, after a rare night out, I came home from a bar shitfaced, and sent her a series of drunken texts. I called her a whore, said how dare you date someone else so quickly, and accused her of cheating on me with him. A few minutes later she called. I foolishly picked up. She was with him.
They berated me for about a minute before I shamefully hung up. She said I was an asshole with a little dick, and never treated her right. He laughed and said that she was finally with a man that would take care of all her needs, including in the bedroom. He had a deep voice. She laughed and said something about how big his dick was. I hung up at that with tears in my eyes. They called again, but I didn't pick up. They left a voicemail which was mostly him saying never to call her again and that she was about to get some real dick. She threw in a "and I was cheating on you." at the end for good measure, and they both laughed as they hung up.
I was devastated and too drunk to fully process everything. I think I cried a little bit and then went and opened a beer in the kitchen. But before I knew it I was back in front of the computer, looking up things like BBC, big black dick on white girl, etc. etc.
The next day I saw she had posted something obliquely mocking me without mentioning me by name. If I felt low the day before this just made it all so much worse. I felt weak and pathetic, sad, lonely, and somewhat horny by the thought of her with this big black guy.
To make a long story short, my porn tastes quickly became almost exclusively interracial porn. Hung black guys on hot white girls, and then I slowly found myself clicking on sissy stuff, black dominance stuff, race play stuff, even interracial gay/bi videos. I felt like a degenerate, but kept leaning in, eventually watching stuff with white guys getting dominated by big black dicks.
Eventually, I got the idea that I could have an anonymous hook up or something with a black guy. I don't know why I went this far with it. I think part of me thought that I would provide it was just a fetish and I could just jerk off to the conversations, while part of me really wanted to get on my knees for a big black dick. I made (and deleted) some gay dating profiles over the next couple of months, starting conversations with guys while I was watching porn, only to ghost them when they started asking for my phone number or I came from jerking off.
This carried on for some time. I was calling myself bi curious and messaging black guys, saying things like I never did anything like this before and I wanted to try to suck a big black dick. I got a good amount of responses and some phone numbers, but always chickened out and ended up just jerking off, until one night.
It was a Friday in the summer. With interracial porn blazing from my computer screen, I was deep in a conversation with one guy in particular. He was in great shape, handsome, and lived only a few miles away. He seemed nice and very understandable when I hit him with the "I never did this before" line. He said that he was "the first dick for a lot of white boys", and followed up with a dick pic, asking me what I thought.
It was huge. And I told him that. He held up his big, cut, erect dick against a cable remote for scale. I told him it looked huge. What I didn't tell him was that I have the same cable remote, and went and compared my own erect dick to it. He was almost twice the size. And way thicker around the circumference.
He asked for my number. This is where I usually bailed on the conversations. For whatever reason, this time I sent it to him. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just too into the moment. A minute later my phone buzzed with a "Hey" from an unsaved number. It was him. My heart started pounding and I started feeling extremely nervous, but I replied back with my own "Hey" and the conversation went from there.
He asked if I wanted to suck a big black dick tonight, and followed up that text with another dick pic, this one with more of his body in it. It was so big, and he was so jacked. Visible abs ran down his shirtless body in the pic. No face though. "Jesus Christ," I said to myself, wondering what I was getting myself into. But I confidently texted him back that I couldn't wait to get on my knees for his monster dick.
I kept thinking I shouldn't do this, that it was wrong, that I was straight and this was just a fetish. But the other part of my brain took over, as if I couldn't help myself but continue this dialogue. I felt dirty, anxious, but somehow turned on by all of this. This mix of thoughts and emotions just washed over me.
He asked for my address. I hesitated. This would be the point of no return. But within a few seconds I was texting him back, giving him not only my address, but the instructions on how to get to the door of my garden apartment.
My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. This whole thing was crazy. I was pretty drunk already, but went to the kitchen to get a drink to calm my nerves. I took a shot and opened another beer. What the fuck did I just get myself into?
