I knew this day would arrive eventually. My wife and Mother insisted on it. Many times they'd sit and talk about me as though I wasn't there giving them pedicures.
Pedicures. It's not as easy as it sounds. Cindy, my wife decided that I needed to get some skills and literally took me to the local community college and enrolled me in a class that trained girls to work in nail salons. My face burned red as she explained to the registrar that I was to learn how to manicure finger nails and provide her and others with acceptable pedicures.
I was 35 when classes began. I was so much older than the others in the class, most of whom were teenaged girls. I was the only male. I say male instead of man because all my life the women in it have let me know that although I have a penis the 4" boners I get is hardly the erection of a man.
You see, I was raised in a house full of women and girls. My father ran off and left mother with my older sister and I. My sister was 22. Mother had always been strict with me but let my sister do as she pleased. I was 18 when we had to move in with my Grandmother who was widowed. My Aunt and her three daughters ages 20, 23, and 24. This is when my personal hell started.
Aunt JoAnne had never married and my cousins grew up with three different absentee fathers. The house had only 4 bedrooms and the girls, my sister and cousins shared a room with two bunk beds. Mother, Grandmother, and Aunt JoAnne each had their own bedroom. I was fortunate to get the cot in the basement and instead of chest of drawers and a closet I made do with keeping my fold-up clothes in cardboard boxes and hanging my pants and coat on exposed plumbing pipes.
I was thankful for the privacy when I could get it. Of course my older cousins were just plain mean. They liked to sneak up behind me and would pull my pants down to laugh at my "little weenie". Mother, Grandmother, Aunt JoAnne would laugh along with them. At 18 I hadn't developed body hair that would have given me the appearance of the grown man I was.
But being 18 had it's advantages. Although Mother and Grandmother insisted on a 9 PM curfew I would sty out every night until just before 9. Woe be it on me should I have come home late. Some one was always watching and wanting to snitch on me.
Because the only bathroom was all the way upstairs my baths would be interrupted by any of the women needing to relieve themselves. My naked body being exposed to them became almost a daily occurrence.
I'd never been with a girl but still had the urgings of a healthy 18 year old. For some reason having a house full of women seeing me naked was a turn on.
Some memories are so etched in your brain that they'll never be forgotten. Such was the time that Mother interrupted my bath and caught me playing with my hard-on.
She abruptly turned and left and I breathed a sigh of relief. But that relief was only momentary.
My soapy hand had only been jacking my dick again when in stormed Mother, Grandmother, and Aunt JoAnne.
Mother took me by the arm and stood me up before the three women who were smirking as they looked at my shrinking dick.
I was marched down stairs to the living room and made to stand there as Mother and Aunt JoAnne called my cousins and sister into the room. Naked and shivering I stood there and listened to Grandmother and Mother explain that what I had was not considered normal. "johnnie will never be able to please a woman with his lack of equipment," Mother snorted.
The lesson continued with the girls being told how to choose a properly endowed man. Aunt JoAnne was particularly specific and said that black men have the largest cocks. Both Grandmother and Mother nodded in agreement.
I now understood why my cousins were mixed race.
I was then made to lay across Aunt JoAnne's lap as Mother and Grandmother admonished me for playing with my "pathetic" self. I squealed in pain as the belt rained down on my wide ass. Aunt JoAnne held me firmly in place as my punishment continued. I cried real tears. But I felt more than the pain. The humiliation of having my Aunt use a belt on my naked ass while the women in my family watched lit a fire in me. I felt my dick grow hard as she continued to use her belt on me.
When my Aunt realized I was hard again she tossed me off her lap onto the floor. My ass burned from the lashing but that was nothing compared to the pain my 18 year old dick felt when she began to use her belt on my crotch. "Nasty, dirty little motherfucker," she hissed. "This moron enjoys being naked and have his fat ass whipped while us ladies see it happen."
The whipping stopped before I came but they weren't done.
One of my cousins suggested that I be made to be undressed when at home so if I got hard they could see it and I'd be punished again. Her motion was seconded and roundly approved. From that day on I was nude when at home and whipped when I got an erection. Every time Aunt JoAnn would use her belt made my dick harder but she always stopped just short of me cumming. I think she knew.
When company was there I had to remain in the basement or be humiliated. It was particularly bad when the girls brought home boy friends.
Since Mother and Aunt JoAnne preferred black men so their daughters followed suit. Even in the basement I would be tormented by the sounds of fucking. I didn't know what Grandmother thought and it was not my place to ask. But Mother and Aunt JoAnne seldom spent a weekend night at home and the girls were free to give themselves to their black boy friends. Except my sister. She was very close with a couple of black women who seemed to be in their early 30's.
I would hear them coming and hurry off to my basement sanctuary to hide my naked body. They would purposely seek me out to further diminish any residual masculinity I may have had.
Worse still was seeing those cocks of the 20 something year old guys. I understood why my little dick was the subject of mockery.
I got a job and left that hell hole as soon as I saved enough for a cheap apartment. But in only 10 months so much had been deeply ingrained in my psyche by then that all self respect and pride had been beaten out of me.
I grew into my 20's more timid, insecure, and lonely than one can imagine. Besides the internal damage my body seemed to remain in my teens. I weighed a mere 130. I was 5' 6" at best with narrow shoulders, a thin waist, with hips and buttocks that could only be described as feminine.
Still devoid of body hair I could still hear Mother and Grandmother tell me that even though I had my poor excuse for a penis I was more of a woman. "Rest assured Dorothy," my Grandmother said to Mother. "One day johnnie will be offering himself to men."
I didn't understand it what she meant. Cindy would help me understand and bring me full circle.
I met Cindy by a stroke of good fortune. I'd wandered into a bar where she was pouring drinks. It was my first foray into a place that served alcohol and I wasn't sure what I should order.
Cin appraised me up and down and decided for me. "I think you'll love this," she smiled. "It's called a Shirley Temple."
Her sweet smile beguiled me and I became a frequent customer. She treated me nicer than any woman had before and I was smitten.
Call it puppy love or stalking. Either way I started to hang around just to be near her. When I once bragged about how many of those Shirley Temple drinks I could do without getting drunk Cin made me a real drink. The first rum and coke made me tipsy. The second one nearly knocked me out.
It was closing time and I was stumbling about trying to get back to my studio apartment. Just as a cop was pulling up in his squad car Cin appeared beside me. Assuring the officer that she'd get me home safely I was saved from a night in the drunk tank.
As we walked the 4 blocks to my place I suddenly threw up and made a mess of myself.
Cin steadied me as I fumbled with the key finally opening the door to the spartan box that was my home.
"Oh my God johnnie," Cin said. "This place is crap." Then she proceeded to help me undress and climb into my bath tub. "Your shower doesn't work?"
I sat and let her clean the vomit off my thin body and heard her chuckle at the sight of my little dick.
She allowed me to soak as she made a pot of coffee. I joined her and we sat at the card table which with two folding chairs and a mattress on the floor was my only furniture.
Cin apologized for getting me drunk but I told her it was me who drank those two drinks and I did not blame her.
