I didn't get my threesome with Jake and Marcus after bedtime. It wasn't that my cousin and his buddy didn't recover themselves after the jerk-off we'd had before tea, it was just that by the time the three of us collapsed into Jake's bed, we'd had so much fun with Uncle Rob that we were all just too bloody knackered!
It had started after I'd checked in with the folks back in Brisbane to let them know I was okay. I talked for a while with my mom over WhatsApp, with her chuckling all the time that I was starting to sound like such a pommy, before dad came on to throw in a few snide quips.
"It sounds like your Uncle Robert has all and sundry coming and going," he'd sneered, hearing the chatter and laughter coming from the living room.
"Yeah, he had one of his friends to stay over last night and now Jake has a friend up from Surrey for a couple of days."
"No females, I hope," dad replied sharply. "There'd better not be anything untoward going on."
"No, we're a houseful of guys, dad," I told him truthfully. I didn't offer a comment on the 'untoward' part.
When I'd finished the call and was back in the living room having a beer poured for me, Jake came downstairs from having a pee.
"It fucking stinks up there!" he announced to the rooom with all his usual decorum. "You can still smell our arses from where we were frigging each other's fudgers off!"
"Don't be so crude, Jake," my uncle told him.
"You really can smell it though... I'm not saying it's a bad thing!"
Now Uncle Rob allowed himself a chuckle. "You boys were a little odorous when we were anally masturbating together!"
Marcus laughed too. "It was really hot, though, wasn't it? Fingering each other and smelling each other's butts!"
"The funny thing is," Uncle Rob nodded, "I could tell exactly which smells were wafting from between which of your legs. Your three hairy little openings each have very distinctive aromas."
I couldn't help but laugh at the way my uncle spoke. The way he could say such vulgar things in that posh English accent of his, but also the way his attitude to sex and bodily stuff was so at odds with my dad's.
Jake laughed too but his amusement was borne from his dirty imagination. "We should make that into a game!" he suggested. "You get blindfolded, dad, and then you sniff one of our arses and try and figure out who it belongs to!"
Marcus and I grinned over at each other - that was a ripper idea for a game. Uncle Rob, though, while clearly interested in the concept, wanted to clarify the practicalities.
"I'd be kneeling down, would I, and the young man offering his bottom would be bending forwards in front of me?"
"Hands on knees," Jake nodded. "Crack open a bit but not too splayed."
"And there'd be no flatulence of course," his dad was keen to establish.
"Absolutely not," Jake agreed. "The only clue you'd get would be the smell of the hot juicy gape."
"I wouldn't be able to do it through your jeans," Uncle Rob added, smiling at the three of us. "Though I think I'd have a good chance of figuring out who was who from the whiff of the backs of your underwear."
"You'd get ten points if you could manage that," Marcus declared. "But only five if you need us to pull our boxers down and sniff our bare bums!"
"Yeah, and if you need to stick your nose into our cack-cracks, you'd get only three!" Jake decided.
"And if I need a lick of the cherry, would that be just one point?" Uncle Rob asked.
The three of us laughed. We thought he was joking.
While Jake fetched one of his ties to use as a blindfold, I told my uncle, "If you can get to fifteen points after three goes, I'll be really impressed!"
"I think I'll be able to manage twenty," he grinned. "One ten and two fives. Jake's backside has a characteristically pungent bite to it which I'll be able to smell quite easily through his underpants. With you and Marcus, I'll probably need you to present your bare bums to my nose if I'm to figure out which is which."
"You'd think Jake and Shane's butts would have similar smells," Marcus said. "You know, with them being cousins..."
"Yes, that's true," Uncle Rob nodded. "But earlier on, when both of your openings were just starting to be masturbated, I found your anal scents quite difficult to separate. Marcus, however, emerged as having a much meatier flavour once Jake's fingers were pumping in and out at full speed!"
Marcus chortled. "Yeah, well I'm not surprised about that! There's plenty of meat been packed in back there!"
I laughed too but I was really intrigued - and quite excited as well - to find out how sensitive Uncle Rob's nose would be when poised in front of each of our butts.
Once my uncle had been blindfolded, Jake volunteered by mime that his arse should go first.
He pulled his jeans down, bent forwards a bit and offered the twin mounds straining the back of his dark grey 'Next' boxer briefs up to Uncle Rob's face. Marcus and I smirked together on seeing Jake's arse so close his dad's nose and mouth and Marcus nudged me to gesture at the semi-hard-on pushing the crotch of Jake's shorts prominently outwards. My cousin sure hadn't been lying when he'd said that he recovered his horniness quickly after a spunk-off!
Uncle Rob sniffed at his son's two round buttocks in his underwear, before moving in closer to get a stronger whiff behind the deep, narrow valley running down between them.