Mid-Life Awaening

The leather collar felt tight around my throat as Jackson pulled the chain leash connected to it. Each time he pulled on it, I found it a little more uncomfortable to breathe. The leather collar was snug on my muscular neck. I was on my hands and knees on the bed as he fucked me savagely from behind. His thick cock glided in and out of me with relative ease as his loose balls slapped against my inner thighs. The sounds of sex were all about the room as was its distinctive scent. He cursed me as usual as he yanked on the leash.

"Fucking slut!" he said with a hint of anger in his tone, though it was usually just roleplay. Then he'd ram his cock harder into my hole. I looked behind me and saw his hard body glistening in sweat and perspiration. My throat felt sore from the collar. He was straight and erect as he stood on his knees, his torso tight and his pelvis thrusting toward and then away from me with each pump of his cock.

Since our almost-tender moment a couple of months prior, Jackson had grown more aggressive and rough during our Sunday sex-capades, as I grew to call them. His wife would head off to church on Sunday and he'd drive up to my house and work out his aggression on me. It was a sort of therapy for him to feel like he was sodomizing me, I guess. I thought we were about to develop an emotional connection that Sunday morning when Jackson allowed me to snuggle up next to him.

But that wasn't to be. It seemed to have made him all the more aggressive and rough where I was concerned. Now, here we were, two months later, and I could feel the aggression. He thrust into and out of me, slapping my bare ass cheeks until they were blood red. He was loud and vocal.

"You goddamn cum whore, take Daddy's fucking dick!" he swore loudly.

I simply whimpered and let him have his way with me. Sometimes, I was angry after he left. I'd look in the mirror and see myself as simply a "fuckhole" or a "filthy whore" as he put it. Other times, I was determined to not submit and my resolve was only met with a harsher hand and a harder fuck.

On this Sunday morning, I had simply had enough. I was tired of being just a hole to fuck. I felt him tensing up and just as he was about to erupt inside my ass, I pulled away so that his cum shot from his cock and hit my inner thigh and the rest of his cum burst forth and landed on the sheets. He struggled to pull my ass to him so he could stick his cock back inside me, but I writhed and twisted so he couldn't achieve that.

"Fuck you, bitch!" he yelled, "You wasting my load!"

With my head turned away from him, I smiled. At least, I'd deprived him of that. When he turned loose of the leash in exasperation, I crawled quickly to the side of the bed, got up and stood looking at him. He remained on his knees holding his dick in his massive strong hand. He had a sudden sort of confused look on his face. I reached up with both hands and unfastened that fucking dog collar and slung it onto the carpeted floor. It landed on the plush carpet and the chain made little noise.

I looked at him and said coldly, "You know where the fucking towels are. When you're cleaned up, you know where the door is as well."

With that act of defiance, I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall into a spare bedroom and slammed the door and locked it. Sure, he was a good fuck and I loved a good, hard fuck and dirty, nasty sex. Who didn't? Still I was tired of not having some sort of emotional connection. Even with a thick dick in your ass, you can feel awfully empty.

I sat on the edge of the guest bed and tried not to cry. I felt I deserved more than what I'd allowed to happen to me. After fifteen minutes or so, there was a soft knock on the door.

"What?" I called out.

"You okay, Baby?" I heard Jackson say quietly.

What a dumb ass I thought. What did he think?

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I finally called out.

"Can I come in, please?" he asked through the still closed and locked door.

I sat there hesitating. I was truly angry and felt I should be finished with Jackson. Finally, I walked to the door, unlocked it and opened it. He stood there in his bath towel, but otherwise naked.

"What's wrong? I thought we were having fun..." he said feebly with his voice trailing off into the awkward air.

Finally, I said what was on my mind, "Look, Jackson, I'm tired of just being your fuckhole. I'd like some form of a relationship, even just a friendship. Somebody to talk to and laugh with. Someone who can be nice when we're fucking or just sitting around the living room. But no....you're rough and brutal constantly. Never a tender moment with you and honestly, I feel empty inside these days."

He looked suddenly uncomfortable and didn't seem to know what to say. Finally, he walked toward me and embraced me. Still, it was an awkward embrace. But it was more than I had known otherwise from this man. I buried my face in his strong, muscular chest. His scent and the residual smell of sex on him awakened something deep inside me again. My mouth found his left nipple and closed in around it. I licked it and sucked on it and he moaned. I suddenly and quietly cursed myself. I was giving in. I knew what was about to happen. i suddenly hated myself.

Suddenly, I felt his strong hand on my shoulder, pushing me downward to my knees. His towel fell away and his thick meaty cock swung free. I kissed his strong taut stomach muscles and lightly kissed his pelvic area.

"Suck it, Baby, put Daddy's cock in your mouth," Jackson said more humanely than usual, "that's really what you're always so hungry for."

And I did. I began deepthroating him as if I'd never stood up to him. He was soon fucking my throat and talking down to me again. As he gagged me with his thick cock, he grinned and said with growing confidence, "Suck that nigga cock, bitch. Eat Daddy's fat load."

I moaned and whimpered. It was what it was. I sucked him until my jaw was sore and finally he shot his heavy, thick load into my throat. I sucked him until he was finished. I swallowed and I was finished. There was going to be no attempt at lovemaking or even a hard fucking as far as I was concerned.

As I stood, he grabbed me and flipped me around pushed me face first onto the guest bed. He pulled me to the edge of the mattress by my ankles and spread my legs wide apart. He put all of his weight down upon me and I felt his cockhead pushing into me. I struggled and wiggled but his strength was too much for me. Suddenly, he was balls deep inside me and fucking my ass mercilessly. Despite my anger, I was actually enjoying the fucking. I always enjoyed the fucking! Still, I was determined to be vocal.

"Fuck you!....I don't belong to you!" I said loudly.

He grinned and informed me, "Yes, you do! You belong to this nigga, white boy!"

He stayed right on top of me and kept thrusting into and out of my hole. I finally said sweetly, "Oh Daddy, let me ride you!"

He pulled out and lay on his back and I climbed on top of him. I took his his thick cock into my tiny white hand and lined it up with hole. I sat down on his cock and began riding him. I stroked my own cock while I rode his. Finally, he shot another load, this time deep into my asshole. I kept stroking my own cock while I rode him. Finally, as I felt my own cum about to explode out of me, I scrambled up and shot my load right into Jackson's surprised face. I covered his mouth, chin and nose in my cum. He wasn't expecting that and tried to throw me off but I was determined to give him a load myself this time so I sat down heavily upon him.

As I finished draining my warm cum onto his face, I crawled off my lover and got out of the bed. He quickly jumped up and began wiping his face with my sheets.

"What the fuck you shooting your sissy load on my face?" he demanded.

I said nothing. Instead, I walked out into the hallway toward the master bedroom, turned and said, "When you're dressed, you know the way out."

I returned to the master bedroom and locked the door. In a few minutes, he was gone. He emailed me within minutes and wanted to know again if something was wrong. I didn't reply. The next few emails from him sought reassurance but I ignored those as well. Finally, one Saturday night I got an email that said simply, "Hey, I'll leave you alone. My wife was getting suspicious anyway so it's for the best we cool it for a while. No hard feelings."

I emailed Jackson back with a simple reply, "That's probably smart. No hard feelings here either. Maybe you should learn how to treat your next "baby." I'm more than just a "fuckhole" and they will be too, Daddy. Now you take care."

A couple of months went by and surprisingly I managed not having a regular lover. On occasion, I ventured across the river to Memphis and hook up with a college boy or two or pay a visit to an adult bookstore for anonymous cock.

One Saturday morning, I was horny as fuck and needed cock, so I stopped at the adult bookstore near the airport there in Memphis. It was hopping. I loitered around the store area and finally saw two young college boys walk in. Both were black and wearing sweatpants and t-shirts, telling me they'd come for some action. They were both tall, young, maybe 20 or 21, at most, and well built, fine young specimen of men.

I entered the darkened hallway immediately behind them. It was extremely dark and it took all three of us a minute to adjust our eyes.

"Damn, it's dark in here," I mouthed under my breath but loud enough.

One of the young guys smiled and licked his lips and said, "Just dark enough if you're looking for fun."

I made a production of looking him up and down, reached out and rubbed his crotch and answered, "Well, I'm definitely looking for fun."

Looking over at his buddy, he smiled and suggested, "How about we find a booth?"

So the three of us walked through the darkness, our ears full of the sound of forbidden lust, and found a buddy booth with a bench in the back of the arcade. Once inside, we locked the door and I immediately sat down on the bench. Both young men walked up to me and fished their flaccid cocks out of their sweatpants. I immediately took one into my mouth while stroking the other in my hand. I alternated sucking each cock. These guys were young and tasty. I deepthroated each guy and knew I needed one or both in my ass!

The darkest of the two young men had the biggest dick of the two. I looked up at him and said, "Fuck my ass, Baby, while I suck your friend here."

As I asked it, I pulled a condom and a small bottle of lube from my hoodie pocket. The young man grinned. It was his lucky day! Mine too!

I removed my hoodie and pulled down my shorts. He pulled the condom onto his cock and sat on the bench. I climbed up on his lap with my back to his face and lowered myself onto his gorgeous cock. As I began to ride his cock, his buddy stood on the bench to the side of us and I turned my head and took his throbbing cock down my throat.

I rode and sucked. This threesome played out for nearly twenty minutes while a video of a similar scene played out on the small screen in front of us. Finally, the guy I was sucking shot a hot load into my mouth. I swallowed it down with ease and satisfaction. His friend felt he was nearing his own climax and said urgently, "Up, baby, take this load in your throat..."

And I did. His warm salty load splashed against the back of my throat. Both boys left the booth satisfied and I was full. Once again, Memphis had scratched my itch for the time being.

Then about three months after my last visit with Jackson, I had to take part in depositions on an insurance defense case at my office. The insurance company sent a young lawyer from Little Rock to help me as co-counsel. He was some five years younger than me and light-skinned but still black. He was insanely handsome. His name was Brooks. He was a sweet guy and had a gentle disposition. I liked him. He wasn't wearing a wedding band so I assumed he was single for some reason.

We spent all of Thursday in depositions and he planned to stay overnight before heading back to Little Rock on Friday.

"Quick question, Lee," he asked.

"Sure, what's on your mind?"

He smiled a brilliant and sexy smile and asked, "Where's a good place to spend the night around here?"

I seized on this opportunity and answered him, "Well, Brooks, to be honest. There's nothing just great around here but you're welcome to spend the night at my house. I have plenty of room and I'd enjoy the company."

"Are you sure it won't put you out?" he asked, looking more sexy for his kindness.

I smiled at him in a demure way, admitting, "I might like putting out..."

"You mean 'getting put out'?

Blushing at my own Freudian slip, I laughed and corrected myself, "Yes, of course! I meant getting put out. of course, I don't put out....not on the first date, anyway."

Brooks laughed and declared, "I'm game if you're willing to put me up."

I wanted to laugh and tell him, "I'd keep you up too!" But I didn't.

Brooks followed me to my house and I made us a good dinner. We talked and drank wine while I cooked.

"So, l'm curious," Brooks began, "Have you ever been married?"

I paused, made a face and he immediately offered, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy."

"No, no...it's fine, I promise you," I assured him.

He smiled.

I began, "Yes, I was married at one time but she and I grew apart. The older we got, the more we were different and not in a way that binds you closer together. So one day, we just called it quits. I stayed here at the house and she start a new life. My life and my lifestyle now are radically different than when I was married...my tastes are vastly different as well."

He smiled at that and then there was a silence, so I asked, "How about you?"

"Never been married," he began, "just not in the cards. I have had a couple of long term relationship that ran their course. I'm 31 and healthy and looking for something. Maybe it will come along and maybe it won't. Until then I just have occasional playmates."

There was a pause and Brooks added, "And maybe I'll realize it's happening when it does happen."

I nodded in understanding and he asked, "Hey, I'd like to get a shower before bed. Do you mind pointing me in the direction of the bathroom?"

At that point I had a choice to make and a chance to take. I could show him into the guest bathroom or the master bathroom that had both a door leading to it from the hallway but also a second door that led directly into my bedroom. To be honest, i was trying to set things up in case I could seduce him but if it went sideways, I could claim mistake.

"You can use this bathroom," I said as I showed him into my master bathroom. The door connecting to my bedroom was closed but unlocked.

"You'll find towels and everything you need in the cabinets," I said smiling.

He thanked me and closed the door. I crossed the hall into the guest bathroom and cleansed myself, the male version of a douche. I wanted this to be perfect. I took a fast shower and put some fragrant lotion on quickly.

While Brooks was still showering, I went to my bedroom and still naked, I began going through some of my sexiest panties. My long hair and lithe body as well as my well-developed ass would go a long way by themselves if my guess about his sexual proclivities was correct.

Still, I wanted to impress. I found a gorgeous pair of lacy pink sissy panties, Brazilian in style. I pulled them on and they fit snugly on my ass and crotch.

I admired myself and my form in the full-length mirror. I waited in case Brooks chose the bedroom door. He did.

He came through the door wearing nothing but his towel. He stopped still in his tracks when he saw me standing there in those sissy panties going through my drawer or pretending to be.

I looked up innocently and said, "Oh, Brooks, I am so sorry! I realized after I did it that I'd sent you into my bathroom. My mistake."

Brooks smiled and said with a smile, "That a good mistake...no problem."

He stared at my body, still smiling.

I walked toward him slowly and asked looking down at the towel wrapped around his waist, "So, you're not mad?"

He nodded, still admiring my body. I studied him just as closely and said, "I had a feeling during dinner which dessert you preferred."

He smiled and asked, "How did you know?"

"Just a feeling, nothing concrete, just a feeling and I was so hoping..." I replied as I licked my lips.

I walked toward him until I reached him. I reached out and placed my hand over his crotch and felt his girth and length through the bath towel.

I looked into his eyes and asked in a breathy sort of way, "Do you know how long it's been since someone made love to me?"

He smiled sympathetically and asked, "Been a while since you had sex?"

I pressed myself against this younger man and leaned into his ear and said quietly, "Oh, I've had sex lately and plenty of it and I was fucked like a cheap whore...someone's naughty little filthy secret...but I want someone to make love to me...be gentle and kind to me..."

With that, I gently licked his ear lobe and turned and walked toward the bed, my own cock already raging hard and straining to be released from the pink lace.

I turned and asked, "Brooks, baby, tonight heaven would be you making love to me."

In that moment, Brooks dropped his towel to the floor exposing his naked body to me for the first time. He slowly walked toward me, his gorgeously erect cock, thick and already exceeding eight glorious inches as best I could judge.

When he reached me, he put his hand up to the back of my head and pulled me to him. Our lips met, parted and our tongues dueled, exploring one another, searching the other's out. It was as hot a French kiss as I'd ever experienced. I wrapped one of my arms around his waist and use my free hand to grope and massage his engorged cock.

He moaned as I stroked his cock and squeezed the thick shaft. He pulled away from our kiss and asked, "So you don't like being fucked like a little slut or anything rough?"

I put my finger to his lips and said, "Ssshhh, never assume anything about me. I love to be submissive and fucked like crazy, but I want the person fucking me like a teenage girl to be a person who also cares about me and will make love to me when I need that too..."

He sucked my finger into his mouth and began licking it and sucking it.

"Lie down across the bed, Baby," I said gently. He did so.

I lay on top of him and kissed his neck and chest. He sighed and moaned. I lingered on his nipples and licked his washboard stomach and tongued his navel. By the time my mouth reached his crotch, his cock was thick and powerful looking to me. He sighed even heavier when I took his purplish cockhead into my mouth. I took the first few inches slowly in and soaked it in my spit. It seemed as if his girth and size made my mouth water all the more as it made my mouth feel stretched beyond belief.

He sighed and moaned as my velvety warm mouth worshipped his beautiful cock. As I made love to his dick, it occurred to me that at this moment, I'd never before today truly appreciated the fact that I'd never before taken my time with a partner's cock. I'd always been force fed a cock, face or throat fucked and never allowed the time to explore another man's dick until now. As this beautiful cock filled my mouth, I moaned and cooed, mumbled and groaned seductively as I licked, sucked and kissed it. At times, I released Brooks' cock from my wet mouth and stroked it while I kissed it or licked the sides of his shaft.

It was more than clear that Brooks was enjoying the quiet, devoted attention to his cock. Still, I didn't ignore his balls. I learned from my new lover's reactions that his balls were extraordinarily sensitive. The first time I sucked one of them into my mouth, he gasped and jerked. I licked his heavy balls and licked the narrow area of his pelvis between his thighs and his scrotum. I spent an extraordinary amount of time performing slow, sensual oral sex on Brooks and, for the first time ever, was determined to enjoy the same experience myself.