Saturday was here, and I couldn't be more miserable.
Sure, I had no classes, but I was stuck in a dormitory with almost no one here. Most of the guys here either go home for the weekend, work, or just get away from school for a few days. The only people here I knew were Phil and our dorm advisor Josh. I didn't know Josh too well, honestly. We were friendly, but not friends. But he and Phil were the only friendly faces around here on the weekends.
I'm from out of state and don't know anyone in town well enough to stay with them, so I'm stuck in the dorm on the weekends. It's usually not that bad, but it does get boring sometimes.
What makes it so bad this time is Bodhi and Ryan aren't here. Ryan usually goes home for the weekend (local) to do laundry and see his family, which I knew before. Sure, Ryan and I crossed some new boundaries yesterday, but I wasn't about to ask him if I could shack up with his family. Bodhi doesn't have family here to visit like me, but he spends most of his weekends working to put some money in his pocket. So I had no one to play with.
This seemed like an ideal time to work on my big project and other homework. It felt like it's been ages since I worked on this, when it's really been barely a day. So much has happened in that time though. I not only lost my virginity, but I lost it to a guy. And then we had sex again. Then that whole thing with Ryan. I felt like a completely different person since I worked on this last, and I kind of am.
I started getting hard thinking back on Bodhi and Ryan. Just thinking about their cocks again really got me going, but I put it in the back of my mind. I wanted to focus on something that wasn't sex. At least for a little while.
Working on my project for Professor Starr was actually just what I needed. I stopped thinking about Bodhi or Ryan or sex in general. I just focused on my schoolwork, which is what I'm supposed to do in college, right?
You know when you're stuck on a problem or issue, and you're thinking on the problem over and over again, but get nowhere? That's where I find myself with this whole situation between Bodhi and Ryan. Any chance I had to myself, I was thinking about it. It had only been a little over 24 hours, but it consumed my thoughts. Was I gay? Was I bi? Was I just experimenting? So working on this homework is actually a relief. I could clear my head. So I worked on homework until later in the afternoon. Then I got hungry, so I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
As I left my dorm, Phil was also leaving his. I spotted him and spoke up.
"Hey, Phil."
"Oh, hey, Danny." Phil said softly.
"Where you headed?"
"Cafeteria."
"Me too. Want to go together?"
"Oh, okay." Phil said.
Phil was a bit shy and introverted. I'd say we only ended up friends because he was Brad's roommate, but once you got him out of his shell, Phil was pretty cool. I liked him. He was nice and easy to talk to.
Phil and I made it to the cafeteria. We sat down and ate our food and talked. Phil was opening up a little more now; talking louder, looking me in the eyes more. It was nice seeing him like this. He would do this thing where he'd blush beat red and get all embarrassed if he felt he was talking too long and said, "Sorry, I'll shut up now." I just smiled. It was so cute.
We ate our food and headed back to the dorm. I invited Phil into my room to hang some more. He reluctantly agreed. We each sat on a bed and turned on my Playstation and just played games for a while. Phil was really coming out of his shell. He spoke up more, seemed more confident, smiling more. He was enjoying himself. I smiled at him. It was exciting seeing him like this.
We stopped playing games for a while and just talked. Nothing in particular at first. We were just shooting the shit for a while. Like friends do. At some point while we were talking, I moved over to the vacant bed with Phil so I could be closer to him. Phil didn't seem to mind, so we continued our conversation. We kept talking and hanging out well into the night. Eventually, we got onto the topic of girlfriends.
"Have anyone back home?" I asked.
"No." Phil replied. "Never really had one. What about you? You got a girlfriend?"
"Same here. Just me."
"I'd like to hookup with someone while I'm here." Phil blurted out.
I laughed lightly at that. "Wouldn't we all?"
Phil laughed. "I'm serious. I want to get over this shy shit and fuck someone!"
Hearing him swear caught me by surprise. He never swore like that in front of me before. He usually doesn't say much of anything. I just smiled at him. I think I was crushing on him.
After that outburst, his eyes grew wide. I think he just realized what he said, because he started to get red and embarrassed again. It was just so cute. I couldn't help but giggle at him a little.
"No need to be embarrassed." I said. "We all want to do that. Some of us have already done it. You'll get there."
Phil looked at me when I said that. "Have you?"
