Impossible Sex Positions

Impossible Sex Positions

I'm as guilty as she is, my wife, I mean. We love each other but we clash, never quite agreeing on how things should be done and always wanting our own way. It's neither of our faults, or both of our faults, I don't know.

I guess we're just different people trying to make it work. I like sports but she likes movies, I want it cold in the house while she wants it hot, I'm a foodie whereas she's crafty.

It makes for complicated life. Especially in the bedroom.

So my wife, Taylor, and I were in need of some spice, we'd fallen into a rut - only doing the few things we both liked, though we'd actually never talked about it.

That changed the day we took a little quiz in a magazine and learned that we shared an interest in trying out new positions, and also reading erotica. We'd had no clue before taking the quiz that we shared these.

We also learned that we both disliked golden showers, pain, and piercings. I'm not sure how she felt about these, I know that I never want to be on the receiving end of any of those, but I would possibly consider doing them to Tay.

On the other hand, she was curious about a mwm threesome but not a ffm one, while I wanted the reverse. We both liked receiving oral but neither of us were keen on giving, though we each did it begrudgingly.

Additionally, she was interested in cock cages while I was interested in chastity belts. That was no surprise since we each were trying to control the other. It seemed that that was the theme of our marriage.

So we started with reading the erotica and planned to then branch out.

We picked a story called "Around The World" where the characters tried every position imaginable, figuring we could also learn what new positions to try.

However, we soon discovered we didn't want to try every position. In fact we couldn't even agree on which positions we did want to try.

Anyway, we were reading this dirty story one night and I just had to laugh at the most impossible descriptions of sex ever written.

She looked at me like I was crazy for laughing and asked what was so funny.

I told her I thought the descriptions were ridiculous, only to hear that she thought they all made sense.

Our 'discussion' was veering toward being heated when I made the mistake of calling her naive.

She got pissy and dug her heels in.

"Ok then!" She said, putting her hands on her hips defiantly, even though we were lying in bed. We'll do most of what they did in the story and I'll prove they can be done. We'll also find out which is the best position while we do it."

But we couldn't even agree on which ones to test out and which ones were over the top.

"Ok...," she said, "we can pick just like we do when we divvy up the last piece of pie: YOU make a list, then I'LL pick from your list."

I countered, "You'll just pick the easiest so it seems like they're all possible. You gotta pick them at random."

"Well, you'll just make a list of the hardest." She retorted.

"Fine!" I boiled. "Then we'll find a list of impossible sex positions on the internet and randomly pick one to do. Then you'll see I'm right."

There was no way she would agree to anything I said at this point. She crossed her arms saying, "No.Two."

So we arrived at a competition. We would try two seemingly impossible sex positions from the internet to prove if they could be done or not.

I know she likes to weasel her way out of things so I demanded, "There's no going back. No matter what. Even if the fates choose upside-down anal sex."

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. Then she "stamped" her foot - if you can call it that when you're in bed. She agreed, "No going back. Even if fate chooses that I peg your ass under water."

"Fine!" I said

"Fine!" She said.

We've been married for a long time and you may not believe it, but we made love after that. If we stopped all of life whenever we were mad at each other we'd never get anything done.

Afterwards she mused calmly, "How are we going to make sure we can't go back on our word?"

I offered the first suggestion, which I only thought of because it would allow me to be in control of her, "You could wear a chastity belt and I'll hold the key until you follow through."

She thought that was grand for two reasons: first, she never thought she'd back out, and she wanted me in a cock cage with her holding the key.

The next day, after a trip to the sex store, we sat in bed with a laptop, wearing our new sexual prisons, but ready to find a list.

Just before we started she asked, "What does the winner get?"

I thought about it, "How about, we try the items from the list and the winner gets to do his or her favorite item once a week."

Shaking hands on it we then opened the Duck Duck Go search engine and after some back and forth typed: "list of seemingly impossible sex positions."

Instantly many results were returned. Perusing the extensive list on the first result we started to see these sex acts described:

The first was called Bumper Cars. There was an illustration too so we could see how it was alleged to be done. We would each lay on our backs with our butts next to each other. Then with my cock bent impossibly down it would be inserted into her pussy. Yet again we disagreed about the plausibility of it. She said if my penis were bent down before I got hard it would work. I said it would break my dick.

In number two, The Propellor, the woman lies on her back then the guy lies down on her, but facing the other way. Again he bends his cock backwards to insert it at an impossible angle. Our thoughts were the same as on number one.

For the third, The Anal Landslide, she would lie on her tummy while I sat astride her thighs then inserted my cock into her rectum. Another cock bending impossibility. But since, in the past she'd never agreed to anal, I saw this as my chance.

Number four would entail her kneeling doggy style while I would be lying underneath and licking her clit while she was simultaneously fucked by a second guy. She smiled mysteriously, saying it was totally doable, but I insisted that her clit would be turned at an impossible angle to both present her gash to the man AND her clit to me.

The next was called The Triple Lindy. In this one I would hold her in the air while she balanced on my cock. I was sure she would be too heavy, even at a tiny 120 pounds, for me to both lift her up AND maneuver my thrusting. She was convinced most of her weight would fall on my hips.

Then there was number six, The Wheelbarrow. In this one she would be in a pushup position then I would lift her legs and plow into her cunt. I knew her thighs would be too close together and she said smugly it would be no problem.

There was also The Ballerina. For this we would stand while she had one leg up on my shoulder while we fucked. I said she couldn't lift her leg that high. She lifted her leg up to show she could do it, though I clearly saw that her leg was nowhere near high enough.

For The Double Trouble, the eighth, one woman lies on the back of another woman while the man alternates entering each woman's pussy. I knew the rhythm would make it impossible. She said she hated the idea but that it would be easy to do.

In the last one, The London Bridge, I would need to bend backwards in an arch with my hands and feet on the floor while she sat astride my out-thrust cock. I simply said, "No way. And she merely said we could.

After seeing the whole list she grabbed a dice to choose our two, but I objected 'cause dice went up to twelve and we only had nine on the list. Then she tried Siri and it worked.

Siri chose #8. She complained that number eight meant we would have to find a third person, a girl, to join us.

But since I wanted it, I reminded her that when we were debating the one with another guy she liked the idea. She had to give in.

Then my luck turned as Siri chose number four - the only other one with another guy. I argued a little, but she just waved the key to my cage: I had to accept.

After a day of wearing the cages we both wanted out, but we're both unwilling to let the other out. We were extremely motivated to find outsiders to join us as quickly as possible.

I said, "Should we go for the girl first?" She completely surprised me by agreeing right away and with no pushback.

We're both good looking, even hot, so it wasn't hard. We placed an ad with pictures and were immediately flooded with responses.

Taylor said we needed ground rules: I would pick the girl and she the guy. Once we started I would have to cooperate completely when the guy was there, but so would she when the girl was there. Lastly, the person who joined us was in charge of the keys while he or she was there - this would ensure that we put our devices back on after the act. Lastly, since we needed to be good hosts we would do whatever we needed to make our guests happy.

The day before the first sexcapade I teased Taylor, "When I win I think I'm going to choose the Anal Landslide for my weekly prize.

She teased me right back, "When I win I'm gonna pick The Propellor cause I'd like to see your dick tortured a little. And if there's to be any anal I just might stick a toy in your ass since it'll be right there."

On the first of our two big days I was very excited to greet Alexa and to fuck two beatiful women. We had appetizers and wine then, feeling tipsy, we moved to the bedroom.

I undressed both women, taking my time to appreciate and kiss their bodies as I went.

Alexa said she agreed to be with us because she liked my cock, which was bigger than her boyfriend's, and because she thought Taylor looked nice and wanted to press her body to hers while I fucked them.

Since the position we'd picked required one girl to lie on top of the other, that worked perfectly for all of us. The only catch was that Alexa wanted to lie on top of Taylor face to face.

Taylor tried to claim that the "Double Trouble" required both girls to be face down but I reminded her that one of our rules was to make our guest happy.

Tay lay down on her back then Alexa climbed right on top squishing their four boobs together. I really loved watching and touching the two entangled woman.

I would have enjoyed hugging and kissing Alexa while plowing her pussy but had to content myself with kissing the back of her neck.

I didn't want Taylor to be jealous so I figured I would start off in her pussy. Kneeling between her spread legs I lined up as best I could but I couldn't see my target. In the end my cock slid in just fine and I had a great view of Alexa's ass, close-up, while sinking home.

From below Alexa, Taylor got bossy, telling me I was supposed to alternate when I full well knew it. I pulled out quickly bringing my knees together so I could kneel taller. It was easy to see my thrilled cock as I got ready to stick it in the new girl

For the first time in years I felt an unfamiliar pussy. It was tighter but not as wet as Taylor's.

I pressed forward, wanting to keep the novel feeling going but Taylor yelled out again, "Switch!"

I feared her continuing commentary. Was she planning to nag me the whole time, and during my first time fucking another woman since we'd married?

I switched back, hitting it a little harder than I normally would. Both of my hands were full of Alexa's buns while I fucked Tay's gash roughly.

I made sure to switch on my own before she could tell me to, pulling out and raising up the four or so inches higher I needed to insert myself into Alexa.

I hated the lag between having my cock in one pussy and being in the other so I worked hard to make the switch seamless, forgetting that if I were successful Taylor would win.

Taylor stopped telling me what to do, which I soon realized was because Alexa was french kissing her right on the lips.

I flipped between the girls a few more times but the feel of a new pussy, my grabbing her ass cheeks, and knowing they were kissing brought me right over the edge too soon.

I shot my load into Alexa with a scream of ecstasy then fell down beside the two naked beauties, exhausted.

Taylor declared herself the winner of the first round, self-righteously ignoring that we had had the ffm threesome she didn't want, and worse that she had had to kiss another woman.

Before Alexa left she asked us both to simultaneously run our hands over her body and stroke her pussy together until she came.

When we were done making her happy she said it was her duty to make sure we were both locked up before she left. This would ensure neither of us welched before the guy came the next week.

I didn't mind losing the first round since I'd thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The following week we were both crabby and hard up, not having had any relief since Alexa had been with us. Being locked up was a bitch.

We'd lined up a date with a young man that Taylor picked named John. She'd chosen him for his well muscled chest and his willingness to fuck her while I licked her clit. She surprised me when she didn't pick a guy with a monster cock. Nevertheless, I wasn't at all looking forward to it, though I was already plotting my strategy for when I won this round and we would need a tie-breaker.

On the other hand, Taylor kept nervously switching dresses, trying to nail that first impression. She asked me what I thought of the blue mini, which was delightfully slutty, but I reminded her that her ass looked best in the red form fitting one. She got sullen, no doubt imagining I'd said her butt looked fat.

When John arrived we started with appetizers and drinks like last time, except that Tay had pulled all the stops and made boob shaped cupcakes. When it was time, we ventured to the bedroom. We were just about to get into our places on the bed when John said that only Taylor needed to remove her chastity belt for our intended activity.

I objected bitterly, but as she passed both keys to John she gloated, saying our rule was that our guest would be in charge of the keys.

My poor imprisoned cock ached for release even as I crawled beneath Tay. I don't love eating pussy but I've done it a few times and know what to do.

Her sweaty feminine smell was strong, indicating how much she was looking forward to John's cock in her hole. I could see a creamy girly discharge there too: one of the reasons I dislike carpet munching.

Tay lowered her nasty cunt to my face, placing her engorged clit right into my mouth as the 69 + 1 position required. It seemed more engorged than usual, the upside being that it was easier to find.

Her bushy mons crushed my chin, while her clit was excited and sensitive, and her gash enveloped my nose. I knew John would never get inside without her dismounting my face.

Taylor's siren voice implored John, "Come here big boy and give it to me." I looked back and he really wasn't that big - mine was bigger.

As he approached I could readily see that it wasn't going to work. His equally nasty cock was way too high to even point in the right direction. Not only that, but her channel was obviously angled down while his cock was angled up.

Pulling my lips away from her slickness momentarily I said, "See? It's not going to work. If you give up now I won't even claim my prize. Otherwise, I'm gonna ask Alexa to come back every week."

With her pretty, but oh so wrong face down by my cage, Taylor said, "You just worry about getting me off so at least one of us does tonight." I thought it was cruel that I was going to be left high and dry. Then to our guest she said, "Are you worried about getting it in Johnny!"

He answered, "Not at all. I'll just pretend he's not here and push right in."

I still wasn't concerned. They could pretend all they wanted to, but if they even accomplished insertion, as soon as they got going her clit would lift right off my face.

His cock smelled like funky sex and loomed large as it came close. In all my thoughts about how a cock could enter a cunt like this I'd never considered how frickin' close I would be to it.

It approached her sex and appeared to be on a collision course with her asshole instead of her groove.

Just then she tilted her hips, which pivoted, causing her pussy to angle up. To my chagrin her clit never left my mouth. Maybe it would still be pulled away but for now things looked less promising. However, he wasn't in yet.

Clear as day, the big cockhead made a straight line for Taylor's hole. His loose balls dragged disgustingly across my forehead, but the worst was how his crown pushed my nose out of the way so easily as he sank deep.

Tay ground her clit against my lips quite purposively and quite hard. Was she getting back at me for my comment about her butt? "Do you like it under there Steve? You don't lick me often enough and I'm really liking it. Keep your tongue going all the while Steven - or you lose."

John fucked Tay's gash fast, hard, and with a lot of stamina. It was crowded under there with four knees, a wet pussy, a slimy cock, gnarly balls, and my poor head, and I was wishing he would finish real fast.

Tay started screaming "I love it, Steve. Your mouth feels amazing on me. Whatever you do, please don't stop."

She rarely said 'please' and she rarely showed such enthusiasm, and more importantly, she appreciated me and NOT John. Instantly I felt a pang of affection for her and determined to lick better. Additionally, my cock filled my cage, with my cockskin bulging thru the gaps, the cage became a metal torture device.

I didn't want to be erect, given how painful it was, but Tay seemed sexier to me than she had in years. Mostly because she was loving my cuntlicking, but seeing John hard for her affirmed her desirability too.

Tay noticed my state too, how could she not, with her face being right there near my imprisoned dick.

Momentarily, she stuck her tongue through the opening at the end of the cage tonguing the tiniest available part of my pee slit. This was the first time she'd ever made oral contact with my dick completely of her own volition. It only served to make my dick harder and more excruciating.

They were going at it hot and heavy, splattering drops of sex juice on my face. Naturally, I couldn't even turn away, trapped between all those vice-like knees.

He stirred her pot with obscene squishy noises while my face just got wetter and wetter.

His organ was thoroughly slimed when Tay screamed out, "John, your cock feels so hard and so good ramming into me! Will you get down just a little lower so you can hit my G-spot?"

When he dropped down it was no longer just his balls dragging along my face and the crown forcing my nose aside, but the whole revolting shaft too. It slid across my face leaving a wet residue which made me acutely aware that he wasn't just pistoning along a straight path, but corkscrewing her cunt and now my face too.

It also dawned on me that Tay had asked him to go lower, the exact opposite of what she always wants, just to maximize my contact with his cock. I couldn't really blame her after I'd roughed up her chasm when Alexa had been over. She had been sore for several days and couldn't do anything about it because of the chastity belt.

Knowing her reason didn't make it any easier, or even harder, to bear. But what was near impossible to tolerate was that when he was fully inserted in her pussy if I failed to close my eyes, I was staring right up at his hairy asshole.

Rubbing salt in the wound Taylor declared, "Lover, if I cum before you do I want to suck the sperm out of your fat cock."

When I thought of her coming soon my foremost thought was that my ordeal would be over. My second was jealousy since she never sucked my sperm out - requiring me to announce my impending orgasm so she could pull off.

Maybe if she enjoyed sucking his cock she might learn to enjoy sucking mine. Regardless, this had to end.