I'm Your Prisoner

I usually fall victim to emotional contagion when it comes to music. Most of my writing is induced by an impression I receive by a song or a body of musical work. In fact when I am writing I often relate the emotion of my work to the tempo/meaning of a song.

I relistened to "Prisoner" by Miley Cyrus ft. Dua Lipa recently, finding myself caught up in an experience with the song and the music video. There is something that feels so grungy and angry, obviously, but also carnal. I also sensed some acceptance and this story came to mind.

Hope you enjoy!

================================

I pushed out of the restaurant, tugging on my tie and unbuttoning the collar of my shirt. That damn asshole. He really knew how to piss me off! I almost made it to the corner, getting ready to hail a cab when a hand gripped my arm firmly.

"Adryan," Damien's voice was rough, his eyes stern as he glared at me.

"No you don't get to keep chasing after me like this," I snapped, jerking him off me. I went to walk away when he snagged my arm and pulled me back into the alleyway. The darkness swallowed us as he pushed me up against the cool brick wall.

"Why were you here with some guy?" he grumbled and I scoffed, glaring out toward the street.

"You are the one who said we were over remember? Last time we tried to talk and I told you I can't keep doing this. This weird cycle of us using each other and then distancing ourselves. So you told me that we'd be done! That we wouldn't see each other anymore!" I countered.

"I was mad and confused!" he snapped and I sighed, shaking my head as I looked down and shoved my hands into my pockets.

"How many times do we have to do this Damien? Why can't we move on and be happy?" I demanded. He grabbed my chin, his fingers rough as they pressed my cheeks to my teeth. I clenched my jaw, glaring at him. The dim light made his dark hair almost glow, the yellow tint of his irises almost glowing as he stared me down.

"Why can't you be happy with me?" he snapped and I tsked my tongue, a bitter sigh escaping me as I jerked my head out of his hold.

"You should know the answer to that," I grumbled, shoving my shoulder into him as he stumbled back. I stopped at the entrance to the alleyway, looking back at him. He stood, his hands clenched as he stared back at me. A tug at my heart made me scowl, so I turned without another word. A second longer and I would have run into his arms. I'm so fucking weak. I waved a taxi down, climbing into the back.

"Where to?" the sweaty man grumbled and I took a deep breath.

"WJ Apartments," I breathed and he nodded, pulling off. I slid back in the seat, taking a deep breath as I glared at the city passing by. If only I never agreed to move to the same city as this asshole. Maybe I could have finally escape this painful relationship. I shook that thought, not wanting to think about sacrificing my career to avoid him. It started raining and I sighed, glaring at the traffic jam.

"I'll get out here. It's not too far," I sighed, the driver looking at me like I was insane.

"It's pouring out," he muttered and I shrugged, handing over enough to cover the fare and a generous tip. He didn't complain after that. I slid out, shutting the door. I pushed my already soaked hair back, grimacing at the feeling of my clothes starting to stick to me. I took a deep breath and set off for my apartment building, my mind wandering. Back to how this all started...

* * *

"The name's Damien!" he stood at my desk, holding his hand out with a cocky grin. "You're the new kid. Adryan right?" he breathed and I nodded, a bit shy. "I heard you're joining the soccer team. I'm the captain," he jabbed his thumb to his chest and I sighed.

"Alright," I adjusted, a bit uncomfortable.

"So that means we're going to see a lot of each other," he insisted and I nodded, studying him warily. He was one of those obviously handsome and outgoing guys. Almost the stereotypical star athlete types. I knew who he was. He was a state champ, ranking as one of the best players in the state's division. But I never expected him to be like this.

From that day on he bothered me everyday in class, at practice, and even following me home from school. We ended up becoming really great friends and I learned to ignore some of his more annoying personality traits. In fact I really started to admire him. He seemed to be kind hearted and was almost as talented academically as he was physically. Our time together in school passed by quickly and were some of the best times we shared...

And then one day shortly before the end of our senior year, we were hanging out at his house when his parents got into an argument. It wasn't new, in fact he had mentioned them having problems. But he looked uncomfortable, his face twisting in frustration. It got pretty bad this night though, to the point where his dad even broke some things. Luckily we were in his room so we didn't have to see it, but we heard it all. When everything quieted down and it sounded like his father stormed out of the apartment he went to comfort his mom. She told him she was going to go visit her mom for a little bit, packing a bag and leaving just like that. He looked so lonely and broken, like his world was crashing down around him.

"Adryan," he called my name, his back to me as he stood in the living room facing the door.

"Yeah?" I breathed and he turned, his eyes clouded with a few tears.

"Please don't ever leave me," he muttered and I sighed.

"I won't," it was all I could say. We laid on his bed facing each other as he tried to stop crying, my hand reaching out to wipe his face. He gasped, his eyes meeting mine.

"What are you doing?" he mumbled, looking confused.

"Oh, um, I don't know. When I was upset my mom would do this for me," I shrugged and he hesitated before putting my hand on his cheek. He studied me for a bit, holding my hand there. It was hard to handle his stare, my heart racing as his yellow eyes pierced through me. I tried to look away but he grabbed the back of my head, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Can we stay like this?" he muttered, my heart racing. I stared at his face while he laid there with his eyes closed. He was breathing deeply after some time, having calmed down after crying so much.

"How can you look good while sleeping?" I whispered, my face felt hot as I reached up and brushed his hair away from his eyes. They flashed open, his hand catching mine.

"Adryan, do you like me?" he breathed quietly. I didn't know what to say. His eyes were so intense it was suffocating. His hand slid into mine, his fingers feeling so strong and warm between mine. I went to speak but couldn't get anything out. Why couldn't I deny it? Did I like him?

His eyes darted between my lips and my eyes as he pulled my arm over his shoulder. He reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me closer to him. My breath hitched, my eyes wide as his other hand grabbed the back of my head. I felt his nose touch mine, my eyes closing as I wrapped my arms around him and gave in...

* * *

"Fuck, ten years and I'm still stuck in that stupid promise! We're almost 30 dammit! We're not kids anymore," I grumbled to myself, shaking my head as I trudged along with my hands in my pockets. "I told you I'd never leave you, but I didn't think you'd hold onto me for this long," I groaned, the rain slowly letting up to a light drizzle as I approached the building. I punched in my access code, getting into the building and trudging to the elevator. I rode it up, leaning back on the wall as I ignored the itchy feeling of my clothes on my body. The doors chimed and I pushed out, turning and walking down the hall as I glared at the floor. I looked up, stopping dead in my tracks.

Damien stood, leaning on the wall in the same coat and slacks, his hair damp. He had his hands in his pockets, his head rested back against the wall. My heart stopped. I wanted to turn and run away. But I also wanted to hurry over to him. It was always that battle of emotions for me. Always wanting more than what we had but feeling like it would never come. I had to try and save myself, spare my damn heart. But I couldn't get away from him no matter how hard I tried.

He pulled his arm out looking at his watch as he opened his eyes. He flinched, and slowly looked over at me. "Adryan I-" he pushed up off the wall, stepping toward me. I stepped back, holding my hands up slightly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded, snarling a bit as I glared at him. "Haven't you done enough to me already? You keep doing this to me, to us! When are you going to give it up. I can't handle this anymore!" I insisted then and he faltered, his face looking hurt. He took a deep breath and sighed, hanging his head.

"I can't live without you Adryan," he mumbled and I scoffed. His head snapped up, his eyes fiery with rage and urgency. "We've tried, so many times to stop. To be normal. But we keep coming back," he continued and I crossed my arms.

"You keep coming back. I keep trying to leave, to save us from this. It's you who keeps coming back," I corrected harshly and he scowled. "I'm not having this conversation with you again. You never understand it anyway," I hurried past him, turning to my apartment. I keyed in my code but before I could open the door he grabbed my wrist and pushed me up against it. His body was against mine, my arm pinned behind my back, his lips by my ear.

"You say that like you have no part in this," he grumbled and I closed my eyes, my heart racing as his body rubbed up against mine slightly. His free hand grabbed my neck, pulling me toward him. My back arched, my ass rubbing up against his crotch. "You say that like you don't come crawling back too," his voice was rough, his anger leaking through. Then I felt his lips and tongue on my ear, his hips rubbing against my ass suggestively. I nearly spit as I exhaled through clenched teeth. I ignored the heat coursing through my veins, flooding my cock as it started to swell at his touch.

"I don't want this ambiguous and distant relationship. I don't need this kind of torment," I grumbled and he hesitated before biting my neck. I pressed my lips together, groaning through the pain and hating the pleasure. "You have no idea what I want Damien. You never have! It's why I don't want to be with you," I insisted and he sighed, spinning me around and pushing me back against the door. His body was against mine, his leg sliding up between mine as his hip pressed into my throbbing cock. I stifled a moan, hating how easy it was for him to make me react like this.

"Why can't you just admit that you want me as bad as I want you?" he grumbled, grabbing my ass as he ground his hips against mine. I could feel his cock rubbing against my thigh, his body hot as he licked and nibbled at my ear. He continued down, nibbling and sucking on my neck as I gripped the straps on his shoulders. Before I could say anything his lips crushed mine. I had nowhere to go, his body pinning me back as his tongue and lips tried to coerce me to give in. I bit his lip and he pulled back, looking frustrated.

"I hate that you do this to me," I grumbled and he scowled.

"No you don't," he insisted, his hands sliding down to tease at my crack. He pressed harder, my asshole tingling. I gasped, his tongue sliding into my mouth. I whimpered, my eyes tearing up as I felt like I was choking on his tongue. My body crumpled, giving in finally as I lost the will to fight. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, moaning as my tongue tangled around his. He pulled away and I heard the beep as my door unlocked. He opened it, both of us stepping inside. The door shut and he reached up, sliding his jacket off.

"This is the last time," I insisted weakly, hating the smirk on his face.

"Sure," he breathed, grabbing my tie and pulling me into his arms again. His hands held my waist, his lips devouring mine as I clung to him. We both moaned as our lips parted, our tongues reaching out to tangle and slide against each other. He ran his tongue up under my lip and along my teeth before shoving it deep into my mouth. I trembled, feeling tingles all over my lips. His tongue brushed the back of my teeth, pressing into the roof of my mouth before sliding against mine again.

I was hypnotized, my mouth obeying his entirely. He closed his lips around my tongue, his tongue teasing me as he sucked on it like it was my cock. I groaned, feeling my hips jerking as I rubbed my cock against his. My fingers knotted in his hair as he pulled me closer. His hands clawed at my back, his lips opening around my mouth again. When he pulled away his lips were puffy and wet with saliva, his eyes smoldering.

"God you're so sexy," he groaned, looking down as he held me around my waist. He reached up then with one hand, teasing my nipple that was poking out through my wet shirt. I tensed, trembling as his thumb pressed it up gently. "Mmm, you like that don't you?" he muttered, my eyes closing as he leaned down. I felt his hot breath, then his tongue and lips. I lost my breath, the hot feeling of his mouth made the rest of me feel so cold in my wet clothes. I was shivering and panting, hating myself for loving it.

He moved to the other one, teasing it as well. My heart was pounding, my blood burning when he stood upright with a cocky smirk. His hand grabbed the tie, tightening it just enough to be uncomfortable. I shuddered, my eyes drooping as I watched him admire me. He pulled me closer, his face against mine. His lips brushed and teased mine, never giving me a kiss like I wanted. I clung to him, my body pressing and rubbing against his as I tried desperately to capture his mouth.

"What do you want?" he whispered and I groaned.

"Shut up and kiss me," I grumbled. He chuckled, licking his lip. The action caused his tongue to brush against my lip too and I whimpered. He wrapped his hand up in my tie, pulling on it and I gasped panicked I'd not be able to breathe. But before I could do anything his mouth captured mine again. I melted into the kiss, my body at his will.

He pushed me up against the wall then, both of us grunting as our bodies collided harshly. He bit my lip, sucking on it as his tongue ran along it. A wave a tingles coursed through my mouth, my body heating up. He shoved his tongue into my mouth then, my tongue fighting back as he pulled my leg up. His hand held my ass, the other gripping behind my knee as he humped at my body. Our cocks and balls were rubbing against each other, both of us huffing and groaning. I gasped, pushing him back and he stumbled a bit. I wiped my mouth, both of us breathing heavy.

After a moment I pushed off the wall as he stepped toward me. We closed the distance, our arms tangling around each other as his lips found mine again. I took a few steps back, bumping into my table. He shoved me down onto it, reaching down and undoing my belt. He yanked it out, throwing it across the room. We reached out for each other, our mouths like magnets. I pushed his shirt up desperately, his hands impatiently ripping my shirt apart, buttons flying everywhere.

"Oh fuck," he groaned, as I leaned on my elbows, my shirt hanging off my shoulders as he stood between my legs. He ran his hands over my chest and stomach, biting his lip as his forehead wrinkled. "So damn good," he mumbled, his hands pressing into my hips as he leaned down to kiss my chest. I let my head fall back, panting as he bit and sucked on my chest. My body trembling every time he'd devour my nipples. "I can't hold back anymore," he grumbled and I scoffed.

"You've been holding back?" I grumbled sarcastically, throwing my head back and moaning when his hand pressed against my cock. He grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to the edge of the table. I watched as he undid my pants, pulling my briefs down. My cock sprung out, throbbing with every beat of my heart. He groaned, gripping it tightly. His thumb pressed against my tip and I fell back onto the table, my back arching as I covered my mouth and groaned.

"It hasn't been that long, but you're so sensitive," he mumbled, and then I felt it. The hot, stiff flesh of his cock brushing against mine. "Help me," he huffed and I whimpered, reaching down with one hand to press his cock against mine. Our hands were closed around each other, my palm feeling the hot, soft flesh of his cock as he leaned over and started rolling his hips.

"Fuck!" I hissed, my legs pinching his hips as I trembled. I could feel his balls mashing against mine, the heat from his dick and palm maddening. His other hand grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me up. I pushed up off the table, curving my back to press my face against his.

"So fucking good," he groaned, his lips sucking mine into his mouth before his tongue forced its way between my teeth. I trembled, my tongue swirling with his excitedly. He sucked on it and I groaned, pulling away as I exploded all over myself. I fell back onto my elbow, panting as the unexpected climax left me lightheaded. He grabbed my tie, pulling me up off the table and choking me a bit.

"Bastard," I grumbled as I loosened it, but he ignored me. He grabbed my shirt, pulling me close to him as he kissed and sucked down my neck to my collar bone.

"You look so lewd covered in your own cum," he muttered and I rolled my eyes, pushing away from him. I walked down the small hall to my room when he grabbed my arm and shoved me into the wall. "I'm not done yet," he grumbled, his body pressing against mine.

"Well I am," I tried to push him away but he grabbed my shirt, pulling it down more. My arms pressed to my sides as he held the heavy fabric back, his body pressing into mine. I groaned, pressing my head back into the wall. His mouth was hot as he slid it up my neck, biting hard under my ear. I grit my teeth, clenching my hands into fists as I groaned. His mouth was on my ear then. Sucking, licking, and nibbling at it eagerly, his efforts were making my cock stir.

"I need you Adryan," he grumbled and I whimpered, already panting again as he kissed along my jaw. His arms wrapped around me, my shirt dangling by my wrists. His one hand slid up to my head, the other sliding along the curve of my back and into my briefs. I tensed, pushing on his stomach as his lips crushed mine. My body curved into his, my asshole twitching as he slid his fingers between my cheeks.

"Dammit Damien," I panted, as he kissed my neck again. His fingers prodded at my ass, my back tingling as it arched instinctively.

"So eager," he whispered, sucking on my other ear. His tongue ran along the different curves and crevices, his breath hot as it washed over my skin. My cock was raging again, my body hot and trembling. He kissed me then, his tongue caressing every inch of my mouth and teeth. His tongue slid out of my mouth, pressing against the top of it and I shuddered. "Be a good body," he mumbled, pulling his hand out of my hair and shoving his fingers into my mouth. My eyes watered as I gagged, before relaxing. He massaged my tongue with them pressing down to open my mouth. His fingers slid apart, his lips opening around mine as his tongue slid into my mouth as well.

I struggled to keep my mouth open, my tongue pinched between his fingers as he assaulted my mouth with his tongue. It was overwhelming, my neck and face on fire as my spine tingled. He pulled away and I gasped, swallowing hard. He shoved that hand into my pants, working his wet fingers against my ass as the other cupped my one cheek, holding me open. He pressed his fingers in and I slammed my shoulders back into the wall, moaning as the pain and pleasure consumed me.

"Such a tight ass," he grumbled, kissing me as he leaned into my body. He shoved his fingers in deeper, working them in and out, even wiggling them around to stretch me out. It was painful, it tingled, my ass was twitching, but the pleasure was undeniable. My face was hot, my cock painfully hard as I felt his brush against it. All of this was driving me mad. I hung onto him, moaning and panting as he sucked on my neck. I felt his hand let go of my cheek, and then a moment later he was grabbing my cock.