Hunger and Thirst

"Gonna come over again, Bay-boi?"

I want to, Denuck, I really do. Just tell me who Ben is and...

"Ben?! What do you mean?"

You called me Ben-boi once the last time...the first time I was over. I let it slide then, but it's been on my mind ever since. Look, just tell me it's none of my business and that's okay. Maybe you weren't into me and Bay and Ben are very similar...

"Not into you? I know what your name is, Bayler. And I know I slipped with that Ben-boi thing. I'm sorry."

When a hunky guy like Denuck sinks into himself like this, I have learned to rise within myself, and to let compassion flow. If you were with me I would hug you, Denuck.

"One time with you, Bayler, and I knew that Ben...he would have taken to you as I did. You remind me of him. Ben and I were tight for enough time that we were close to being a mated pair. He had a deeply troubled side to him that I never could reach. He had my heart, Bayler."

How was I like him, Denuck?

"Face to face and I'll tell you."

I kept thinking about what he said on the transport ride to his place. There was a tenderness and a hurt in his voice that grabbed me. I've had the hots for Denuck for some time...just thought I was another plaything to him. Maybe I was wrong. This time he stands in the doorway as I get out of the transport.

"Get in here, Bayler!"

Same place, different time. Denuck bear-hugs me as I walk past him, and just like before, the room goes black and I am out cold. No way to know how long I was out. Must have been a while, because I am awake now and this is definitely not Denucks' dark place. This place is wonderful! Trees and a garden. A small lake. I sit up and feel the soft grass beneath me. Everything looks crisp and inviting. The air is full of the scent of flowers and; and of...food. Standing now. Heading toward the cottage with its fairy-tale thatched roof. I feel like a character in a novel. Damn, I am hungry!

Doorways are starting to get to me. This door is open. Denuck? You in there?

"Get your ass in here, Bayler. Food is almost ready!"

Where are we? Why did you drug me again? This place is amazing. Hey, Denuck...is your hair growing in?!

"My place in the country that Ben and I set up. I drugged you to keep this place off the map for now. Thanks - I think it is special, too. Yes, I haven't shaved my head since...since I met you, Bay-boi. Any more questions, or can we sit and eat?"

The table is set for two. Light streams in from several of the canopied windows. The place is bright and cheerful, and I am very confused. We sit and Denuck stares me down.

"It's been a long time since he left me. Said he couldn't handle the joy for the pain that lingered within him. I couldn't reach him there to help. He left and took my joy with him, Bayler. He left and my own pain began."

So you shaved your head and moved to that dark place with no light?

"Yeah. That's when I started to try and fill my soul with as much physical stuff as I could stomach. At least when I was with a guy, any guy, I could take out my anger on him in a way that fueled both of our needs. I never hurt anyone, Bayler. Never."

You hurt yourself, Denuck. The tears welling up in his eyes tell me I hit a nerve. I place my hand on top of his. We all have pain to work through. I really like you, Denuck. I can help.

"FUCK OFF! I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY OR YOUR HELP. I DON'T...I Don't...don't..."

Holding Denuck in my arms fills me with a feeling I have not had in along time. My mind is torn between this sense of joy; and the tearful pangs of sorrow that Denuck is releasing as he holds me tight. When his shaking and his sobs start to calm, we sit together on a bench, and the warm light feels good to me. Do you feel the warmth of the light, Denuck?

He nods and we hold our embrace. I too have been holding some pain within me. This is a time for healing for us both, Denuck. Maybe, maybe you and I...

"No, Bayler. You are a good kid. I am...I like you. It's not fair to burden you with what I live with. He tore me up when he left and no one can replace him. My heart is cold, Bay-boi. All I can do is satisfy some sexual needs with guys who chase the edge. It's all about the body now. Feelings just get in the way. Let's eat up, and if I haven't totally killed your mood, we can fuck all night long until we drown in it."

Sounds like a plan. At least we are both smiling again.

The meal that Denuck prepared is awesome. He is a very good cook, and I tell him so. Denuck has a hard time with compliments. I know this was not always the case. We walk near the lake and I take his hand in mine. The ruff and gruff Denuck is not here. Nature is providing a balm that mere words never could. We near the cabin again and he stops me at the door.

"No more drugs, Bayler. You can come and go as you please. You can leave if you want to."

I want to stay, Denuck. To stay with you. So sweet a smile on so rugged a face. It warms me to the core. My hand in his, we walk to the sleep platform, and I have no doubt that this time, Denuck and I will make love as neither of us has in a long, long time.

"You can say 'no' if you want to, Bayler."

Pressing my mouth to his gives him the answer that we both want. I need Denuck. I have the biggest hunger for him now and I need him to know it. I grab his coverings and basically tear them from his body. He stands there in the glory of his manhood, ready and able to take me where I desperately need to go. Our roles reverse. Denuck reaches to me and in the most gentle way he begins to undo the ties of my coverings. He places a light kiss on my neck and I tremble at his touch. His big hands trace my body as my coverings slip to the floor. Denuck hefts me up into his arms and places me on the platform, gazing at me with a look of wonderment.

"You have the good heart that Ben had, Bayler...and a lot of his qualities and quirks.

Thirsty to taste you again, Bay-boi - you bring out the animal in me."

Let it out, Denuck. Take me where we both want to go. Denuck makes love to me like he and I are mated. I have never had a man treat me like this. It feels like he has taped into a part of himself that has been shrouded way too long. The energy of his letting go like this is all I could ever hope for. Denuck is intent on releasing his pent-up feelings and I am the lucky recipient this night. I don't need kink. I need Denuck.

So often before, I was the one to pleasure my guy and take the crumbs that I was given in return. It was satisfying to give my lovers what they craved. I took some satisfaction in having provided them with deeply felt release. Reciprocal release for me always took a back seat. I pushed any longing to the back of my mind. Denuck has a need this night to please me, and I understand just how potent that feeling is. I feel completely relaxed and ready for him to take me where he knows I want to go.

"Gonna take you someplace special tonight, Bayler. Gonna show you what it feels like to be the object of desire. Open up to me and let Denuck fill you with all the sensuous sensations you can stand."

Yes, please. His kiss is the sweetest of my life. No forceful groping. No tongue thrusts that seem like hammer blows. It stuns me how gentle Denuck is with every nuzzle, every lick, every touch of his tongue and lips to mine. He has me melting into the platform...and in to him! His weight on me is heavenly. There is something about bearing the weight of a lover that sends me into overdrive. Being pressed into the platform as his body sinks into mine is fantastically delightful. I love roaming my hands over his body. He is relatively motionless now and I can enjoy touching him at will. While his kiss continues to mesmerize my mind, my hands have a life of their own, and they rejoice at touching his head, his muscular back, tracing his flanks...feeling the large firm mounds of his ass.

"You want Denuck to feed your hunger?"

Yes, please. He knows what I want. I want to feel Denuck inside of me. I need to be his vessel. My mind and my body ache to have him fill me with his seed. To take Denuck into me completely is the only thought in my mind now. And he knows it. By giving myself to him this way, I get all that I crave. I get my man to give his life force to me. It is the most balanced joining there is. No thought of who is doing the fucking. We are two beings joining as one in a way that completes us both. I give me to him. He gives himself to me. I am beyond happy. Totally beyond.

"I feel you, Bayler. You are ready for me...for us to join."

Yes, please. Be with me now, Denuck. Join with me and take us so high we can never come down. The loss of his weight on my body is soon replaced with the realization that Denuck will soon be inside of me. He crouches at my crotch and starts to lick me there. I shaved my bush for him, like he did for me the last time we were together and he loves it.

"Smooth and tasty. Thanks, Bay-boi!"

I would thank him, too, but I am swimming in mental delight as Denuck brushes his stubble on my hairless bush, kissing and licking me into delirium. Parting my legs to have good access, I feel his hands move to the base of my sack and...Oh! Gentle is not required now! Gripping me there forces my nuts front and center, and that big wet tongue is slurping me. Licks and kisses cover my shaft and when Denuck touches the tip of his tongue to my cockhead I let out a scream of delight.

"Let it rip, Bayler - no one to hear us out here...I like the way you move when you moan. Keep it coming!"

His hand reaches for my chest. Fingers circle a nipple and the pinch feels...wonderful. He is in control in a way that feels right. He is doing everything he can to give me pleasure. He is succeeding. I lift myself onto my elbows for a better look. Denuck is thirstily sucking on my cock. I reach out and touch the new hairs coming in on his scalp. He releases me and our eyes lock together.

"Now?"

Yes. Now, please! Denuck lifts my legs to his back and he pushes close to me. His thick Rorgan penis is glistening with wetness. I am looking at the man who will take me as his. Denuck gazes at me in the wonderment of my yielding to him. He rises to complete our union. One thrust and I have him as mine. One thrust and he takes me as his. Denuck bends toward my chest. He cradles me in his arms, kissing me deeply and with a sense of urgency. His hips begin to rock and the hunger within me to feel his body there is instantly satisfied. We are holding each other as close as we can. The only body part moving is Denuck's hips as he continues to thrust ever deeper into me. Each outward pull that momentarily threatens to end our union is quickly followed by an ever more determined inward push, and my mind rejoices once again.

This dance continues, and the rhythm of it is accompanied by a moan of pleasure from both of us. Every beat is pleasure. Every beat makes us moan. The tempo increases. We grapple tighter. His hips buck at their limit. Then all is quiet. In barely a whisper, between pants, I hear my lover ask of me.

"I want this, Bay. I need you."

When I press my mouth to his, Denuck gives me three quick thrusts with his muscular body, and he rears upward with a loud and long groan that rocks the cabin. His head bends backward and I see the veins in his thick neck strain to pump blood to his overheated brain. Denuck is in the throws of his orgasm and he is an impressive sight. He lowers himself to me once again and our eyes lock on. The volume of air he needs can barely be supplied through his gaping mouth and I feel each breath warm and sweet on my face. His teeth find the flesh of my shoulder and my manimal takes one final thrust into me and holds there. Unintelligible sounds seep from where teeth meet flesh. Denuck begins to peak and he loses control of his body. I hold him as tightly as I can. The involuntary rocking begins.

"B..a..y..l..e..r..!"

Hot streams of his seed begin to pour into me. No one can see, but my smile is ear to ear. I have my man just where I want him, and it is where he wants to be. Denuck releases my flesh and nuzzles the small wound. His chest heaves into mine and his weight fills me with pleasure. Denuck is spent. We both drift into slumber united as one. I dream of the two of us together in this delightful place. But all dreams come to an end, don't they...

"You can wake up now, Bay-boi. Have something to eat and go. I don't want you here."

Look, Denuck, we had something special last night - why kill it now?

"We had hot sex - nothing more. I don't need you, Bayler. I don't need anyone. So just accept the good sex and let's leave it at that. I don't want you."

No. That's a lie. Denuck, you have to stop lying to yourself and start living again. You know where your pain comes from - so do I. You can get past it now, because it is not your secret anymore. You shared it with me and I am willing to take it on. I am willing to help you heal. We had sex - and it was because you care for me. You need me as much as I need you. We both need someone, Denuck. I accept you with or without the sex. I want you with me, Denuck. Don't say you don't want me! IT HURTS! I don't care how short a time you and I have known each other...we have shared real closeness. Not just sex!

"Yeah - just sex."

Then why the tears? Why are we both starting to leak? I came to you for some kink to dull the pain of my empty life and you gave me what I needed. Sure, I had a good man who cared for me, but he was vanilla and you gave me flavors I craved. We opened up to each other and you know I am right. Denuck, Ben walked out on you and that's in the past. If you cast me out now, you doom the present for both of us. What will it be?

The silence of the moment seems unbearable. We are hardly breathing. Two lost souls trying to find...each other? I see the angst in his eyes. I see a longing there. He opens his mouth to speak.

"Bayler."

Yes, Denuck?

"...Please stay!"