Give Me Shelter

---- Dreams ----

"You're... going to work?" Darcy followed me around the apartment wringing his hands and tugging at his hair. I'd been blocking my thoughts, but he was being obnoxious with his and I glared at him as I felt the waves of concern and pity.

"Yep." I pulled my waistcoat on and grunted as I glanced pointlessly in the mirror. "How do I look?" I turned to Darcy.

"Fine?" He sighed.

"Show me." I folded my arms. Darcy pursed his lips, and through his eyes, I could see myself. I tucked in the back of my shirt. Yeah. Fine. Actually, more than fine. Darcy saw a slightly different version of me than I'd ever seen in the mirror. I looked taller maybe. Broader. The texture in my face looked sexy, not weird. I snorted and nudged him in the arm. "I wish." I said.

"Hey, Gabrie, love, don't you think you should call off for a few days? Learn to..."

"Control myself?" I scowled. "You think I'm going to be leaping over the bar and ripping someone's throat out?"

"Yes." Darcy sighed, and I felt an absence as he stopped sharing his thoughts with me. It was a relief. I closed my eyes and embraced the quiet for half a second. And then my chest sank.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"When I turned." He said, leaning in the doorway. "It was..." He swallowed. "Horror."

"That's a bit of a trope isn't it?"

"Yes, it's all a trope." Darcy swallowed. "Trust me- you're going to be an actual, real monster for the next month."

"For the rest of my unnatural life I'm pretty sure." I reached for a tie.

"Okay." Darcy reached for me and clasped my fingers. "Gabriel.. I don't know exactly what you're going through but I know it's a lot. I know you would rather be dead right now. I know you want to pretend life is normal and you want to go to work, and..."

"No." I pulled my hand away. "I chose this. Same as you."

"You didn't choose..."

"You think there wasn't some part of me that knew what I was doing? I'm practically dead and some vampire offers me 'water'? I knew what I was doing."

"You were bleeding out. You weren't you."

"Who's to say?" I tied my tie, looking again at the mirror through habit. I sighed.

"Either way." Darcy cleared his throat. "I'm just telling you. You are gonna want to suck the blood of everyone you glance at. You might be strong enough to resist, I don't know. Your moral righteousness might prevail..."

"Asshole."

"He's right." Nohorua appeared, placing a hand on Darcy's shoulder. Darcy shoved him off. "Fledglings are impulsive, hungry, and unpredictable. You'll kill someone."

"Ok, so what?" I stepped towards Nohorua, who started to laugh. I realised I was baring my teeth and paused, blushing. "What? What do I do? Quit my job and start languishing in self loathing? Darcy works! He goes to classes! He has loads of friends!"

"Darcy has a few years on you." Nohorua said. "Look. Teina. Not forever. But for a month- maybe two- you have to listen to us. You have to take it easy."

"I have an exam in one week that work is paying thousands of dollars for me to sit! Now is not the time to take it easy!" Nohorua choked back another laugh as I yelled at him. Even Darcy was smiling. I ran my tongue over my teeth. Huh. You'd think you'd have more autonomy over that. I cleared my throat. I glanced at the floor and back at Darcy. I was... also... three feet off the ground. My heart skipped a beat. "Um."

"Do you take our point about self control?" Nohorua smirked.

"Darce- how do I..." I turned around in mid air. "Ah..."

"Here." He rose beside me and took me in his arms. "Come on." He pressed me to his chest and we both gracefully descended.

"Yuh." I glanced at Nohorua. "I ah. Take your point." I sighed and threw myself on the bed. "A month you reckon?"

"A week to figure out how to keep your teeth in and not attack every human you can smell." Darcy sat beside me. "Way longer to feel... you know... like you know what you're in for."

"You reckon I can sit my exam though?" I sat up. "Wait. You reckon I can even taste wine?"

"You can taste wine." Darcy put his arm over my shoulders. "I can taste wine. I mean, not like you do, but I never could like you do."

"If I miss that exam..."

"So what." Nohorua sighed. "You have eternity to sit it again."

"Do you live here now?" I glared at him. Darcy looked over at Nohorua and jerked his head. Nohorua sighed. He stormed out of the room and I let my head fall in my hands.

"Ok." Darcy sighed. "Call in today. We'll get you functioning enough for the exam, kay?"

"You think I have a chance?"

"You're gonna pass with flying colours."

"I meant of not sticking my new teeth into the veins of any poor sod I come across."

"Ah. Less sure on that one." He smiled at me.

-------

The first dream was that night.

"You're avoiding Aurelius." A handsome man with short red hair was saying. He was naked, sprawled out on the bed, staring at me.

I'd had dreams before where it sank in that nothing was right. Where I couldn't establish a timeline that made sense and it became clear I wasn't awake. I'd only truly known it once: a clarity and alertness that this was a dream, and I could control the world around me. I tried to fly and ended up tumbling down a hill and into the ocean where for a second it really felt like flying- until I tried to breathe, and realised I couldn't underwater, and shook myself awake, crying out as I struggled to take in air.

This was close- but not the same. I knew this wasn't real, but I also knew it was real. It wasn't a dream I could control. It was something new.

"He gives me the creeps." I said. The voice wasn't mine. It was silky and high and strangely familiar. My fingers ran through my hair- longish. Perfumed. My nails were pretty. Manicured. But caked in blood. I felt a strangeness inside myself. I felt a host of emotions that weren't mine. Naivety and hope and fear. And a weariness. A deep sleepy restlessness.

"He gives everyone the creeps, he's 2000 years old." The redhead sighed. "He knows you fucked up tonight."

"I didn't fuck up!" This man was better at lying than I was. I could feel the way he protected his mind. Cleverer than me: there was no movie recital, no big glaring walls of denial. He was an open book- only there were chapters others couldn't read. I could read them though. He had fucked up. He'd given me eternal life, not death as promised.

"If you didn't fuck up, why are you avoiding him?" The redhead smiled.

"Same reason you avoid Kate." The man, who I now knew was Rohan, my kaihanga, and I in his body folded our arms. "You don't like her, but you have to be nice, and it's trying."

"Aurelius will make you his general." The redhead yawned. "If you want it. Kate can't do anything but bitch about..."

"I don't want that. That's why I'm avoiding him." Rohan settled in the bed. The sheets were soft linen. "I'm not cut out for war."

"Then why be here?" The redhead laughed.

Rohan closed his eyes. And I saw no more.

-----

Darcy and Nohorua wouldn't let me out of the house for three days.

"How am I meant to practice restraint if I never see another human?" I was storming around the apartment in the afternoon. I couldn't sleep through the day on my new schedule yet and I didn't feel like anyone else deserved to either. "You know, in less than a week Sylvie or Mum will come over and if I'm going to kill the first person I see, it had better not be them!"

"I agree." Nohorua said.

"You do?" The sentiment was enough to stop me in my tracks for half a second.

"We can't coddle you forever." He shrugged. "Your ball and chain disagrees."

"Ball and..." Darcy shrugged cluelessly. "It takes a bit for the new... for the whole thing to settle in, that's all. I just want you to..."

"He can settle in for decades. He'll still want to hunt at the first drop of blood he smells." Nohorua cut Darcy off. "I say we muzzle you and..."

"I charge for that." I rolled my eyes. "How did you handle Darce?" Darcy scowled at me, annoyed at my use of the word handle. As if I wasn't more annoyed about the suggestion of a muzzle.

"I let him hunt." Nohorua said. Darcy and I looked at each other.

"Of course." I said quietly.

"Hey, I...."

"He was useless though, we were basically surviving on rats, weren't we?" Nohorua laughed. "I was genuinely very proud of you, Mr Darcy, for that brief stint when you woke up but it seems you've reverted to your natural state of helplessness." Nohorua stretched out and turned to me. "We're not all great hunters. You may be just as feeble as your partner."

"Which would suit us quite well." Darcy smiled at me. "You might be a whole new breed, Gabriel. You might never drink blood." I glanced at the mugs we'd been sipping from. Which, according to the package, was not blood. It was a supplement for discerning nosferatu; keto, allium and sugar free, protein enriched, ethically produced, and obsetensiby vegan.

"Killing or no killing, THAT is killing me." Nohorua glared at the table. "I'm hunting tonight. It's a good chance for Te Wiata to learn to control himself."

"Pigeons only?" Darcy asked quietly.

"I'm not concerned about his control around pigeons and neither are you." Nohorua turned to me. "You're fucked, Te Wiata. You're one of us and that means you have to learn some hard lessons. You can stay on this... diet... if you want, but you have to understand who we are and what we're capable of."

"I know." I said, meeting his gaze. "I'd like to come."

"Darling, you might...."

"I know exactly what I might do." I snapped at Darcy. "Sorry. This isn't your fault. But I know. And it's hardly getting any better being cramped up in a flat with the two of you. It's winter. I can only hold down this job for a couple more months and I need to start planning my next move. I can't do anything stuck here. You know that."

"I know." Darcy stood up. He looked at me seriously. "You can go out with us, and I'll stop you if you need. Or... if you'd rather... I could stay home?" He twisted his hands and glanced away from me. "It might help if you... get it out of your system. Anything that happens, I don't need to know about it." I appreciated that. Part of me wanted to take him up and embrace this brave new world head on. I was living forever- being a vegetarian seemed like a pathetic display of humanity bordering on idiotic.

But then again, I was a human. Just a lapsed one.

"No fucking way am I going out alone with HIM." I wrapped my arms around Darcy. "Come with us. And hold me back.... actually are you strong enough to hold me back now?" I eyed him up. Darcy drew himself taller with a tiny smug smile on his face.

"I think so." He said softly. A little too smugly actually, which I didn't let slide.

"Don't I get superhuman new baby vamp strength?" I asked, bristling a little.

"Too much fiction." Darcy bared his teeth.

"You will be stronger though." Nohorua looked between us. "And..." He clasped his hands on my shoulders and shoved me down at the table. "More aggressive. Please don't get into pissing competitions with each other, children, you'll damage the furniture."

"Who's fucking flat is this?!" I shook him off me. "Did I invite you in?"

"I did." Darcy bit his lips. "And it worked. I think the house thinks of it as ours now."

"Why?!" I pouted at him.

"Well, houses..."

"The inviting him in part!"

"Because two people helping you through this is better than one." Darcy closed his eyes. "And Nohorua is older. He's strong." He gritted his teeth. "I'm.... Actually quite grateful." He said, sounding anything but.

"As you should be. Nohorua thumped down next to me." "You too." He told me.

"What's in it for you?" I wrinkled my nose. "Don't tell me this is charity."

"Is that so hard to believe?" Nohorua glanced at his fingernails. I listened to the thoughts babbling below the surface. It had become obvious to me very quickly that even though we all could communicate without talking, it was really rude. You don't always control your thoughts as well as your words. Things could be said that you'd rather not hear. It was kinder to keep our guards up. But you could tune in, just like Darcy said. Find the right frequency and dial it up.

"I thought 'covens' were witches?" I bit my thumb. I grunted as I tore my fingernail with my teeth. I was really struggling to handle those.

"Pardon?" Nohorua blinked at my non sequitur. I waved my hand between him and Darcy.

"You agreed to stay to protect me if Darcy agreed we'd join your coven? Thanks Darce, by the way."

"It's only us three right now." Darcy cleared his throat.

"Did you get that out of my mind or Darcy's?" Nohorua leaned forward, studying me. It was the most interest he'd ever shown in me and I felt myself shrinking closer to Darcy.

"Not sure." I said honestly. "I sort of... you know. Tuned in and watched it play out." Nohorua glanced at Darcy. I frowned. "Unusual?" I prompted him. I'd heard the word drifting between them.

"Mr Darcy's mind is practically impenetrable." Nohorua said.

"Well I must be reading yours then." I shrugged.

"Mine is the same." Nohorua said. "He's gifted and I'm old. You shouldn't be reading either of ours."

"Well... I didn't know. Sorry. I'll try not to."

"You shouldn't be ABLE to." He explained.

"Oh." I looked at Darcy who smiled at me warmly. His warmth made me feel a little better about whatever vampiric code I'd unknowingly broken.

"It's probably just baby vamp super powers." He said. "It'll fade. Now can I please get my beauty sleep if we're hunting tonight? I'll meet you after work."

"Say hi to everyone from me." I said glumly as Darcy stood up and left the room. I sighed and tensed up as Nohorua leant back, the stiff vinyl in his chair creaking. I didn't look at him, but I could feel the energy around him. He was crackling with expectation. With... excitement. I tapped my fingers on the table as I slowly let my mind slip between the bubbles of joy. He obviously couldn't sense that I was doing it, so I only vaguely tried to pretend I wasn't. I listened to the buzz until I found something coherent to latch on to.

He was thinking that I might have unforeseen and unforetold powers. And that with his own formidable powers we could become a force to be reckoned with. I managed to stifle my groan and yawned and stood up, letting his thoughts slip from my mind.

"Maybe I'll join Darce." I said.

"I'll wake you up when I leave." He nodded at me indifferently, as if his mind wasn't swarming with plans.

"Thanks." I mumbled. I brushed my teeth, sighed at my non existent reflection and went to cradle Darcy.

"Darling." He nuzzled into me sleepily. I held him, trying to breathe deeply and let my own mind slip away.

---

"I know what you did." She said. The woman who'd found me. The vampire with the red eyes. The one who'd taken me to them. I tried to run but I was stuck in Rohan's soft body.

"What did I do?" He asked placidly.

"You converted him." She said softly. "Why?" Rohan was warm to her. I could feel it. Warm the way I was to?& Sylvie.

"I wanted to see if I could." Rohan whispered. "All this ~~~ancient knowledge~~~ crap. I was sure I could."

"And you abandoned him." She said. "You left a fledgling to his own devices."

"He has the others." Rohan said. "He is not alone."

"You're so sure he knew the others."

"I know he knew others." Rohan inspected his nails. He glanced around the room and leant in. "He has scars. His wrist. His neck. Someone has been feeding from him. Someone cares for him."

"Nohorua?"

"Nohorua doesn't take human thralls." Rohan said. "It was the young one."

"Do you know what you might have done?" She whispered. "This could be war."

"Three to fourteen." Rohan said.

"Not how I count it." She stared at him. "Three to seven; but none of them can take Nohorua. And seven undecided. Seven who are only here because it's safe."

"What you're saying is treason."

"Treason is an old fashioned word." She smiled at him. "And you started this."

"I started nothing." Rohan hissed. "I turned him. I don't even know if it took."

"You must know." The woman said. "Can you feel him?"

"I feel him." Rohan's mouth was dry. "A pulse. Back in the city."

"Then there are three of them. And us. That's five to twelve. And we have Nohorua."

"Who will be a kinder, more level headed, less murderous Captain than Aurelius?" Rohan snorted. "I made a mistake. I'll correct it."

"You'd kill your own child?"

"He's not my child."

-----

"Up." Nohorua barked at me. I found myself reacting instinctively by baring my teeth and shoving him into the wall. I hissed before my self awareness took over and I felt myself blush.

"Don't wake me up like that!" I grabbed a t- shirt and threw it on. Nohorua straightened his collar.

"I tried nicely." He folded his arms. "But you wouldn't."

"Oh. Well. Still." I reached for some trousers, blinking strange dreams away. "No muzzle?" I checked.

"No." Nohorua smiled thinly. "But expect to be restrained."

"Is Darce back yet?" I checked the time on my phone. 1am. He should have been.

"He's making you breakfast." Nohorua yawned, following me out of the bedroom. "Lunch really, you have got to stop sleeping in, it's not good for your circadian rhythm. Anyway, you need to be well fed. Not that I think the shit you two are eating will really help but..."

"Hey, babe." I wrapped my arms around Darcy. "Next time YOU wake me up, ok?"

"I was interested to see if he'd get a black eye." He glanced at Nohorua. "I guess not."

"Was work ok?"

"Yeah, good. They miss you." He pecked my cheek.

"I should hope so." I smiled.

"Here." Darcy offered me a drink bottle and I sipped it. I could see what Nohorua meant. This was definitely sustenance- but it was hardly anything to get excited by. "You ready?" He asked.

"To leave the house? Dying to." I snorted at my own gaffe. "Do you need a leash for me?" I joked as we headed to the doorway.

"Not such a bad idea." Nohorua muttered. "Ok."

We opened the door and I sank into the night, breathing deeply. Being in nature relaxed the angry tension I'd been carrying around. As I closed my eyes I could feel a warmth- like someone had opened a door and shone a crack of light in my mind. It was sad, stoic acceptance and I felt a lump in my throat, brushing it away.

I opened my eyes. My vision had improved dramatically. It was still dark, and shadows cast strange shapes over things- but I could see far beyond my usual ability, even in broad daylight. I winced as I realised I could hear better too... and that the creaking of branches and rustling of leaves and cooing of Ruru would get old fast. Or it would fade and become normal, I supposed.

Darcy took my hand and we started to walk down the hill. There wasn't a human nearby. I'd be able to smell them. In the same way I could smell the Daphne, and the earthworms and the earth itself...

"This is all so much." I muttered. "It's just so much... more."

"Yeah." Darcy rubbed my back. "It's definitely an adjustment."

"You're better off for it." Nohorua said. Darcy and I looked at each other and kept our mouths shut. We were away from the street lamps and houses in no time and scrambling through the garden tracks. It was nice at night. Still and serene and eerie. I breathed deeply and stiffened as something caught my attention.

Something I yearned for with a need I'd never experienced. Like water, but water that will solve all your problems.

"You see something?" Darce said conversationally as I paused, feeling my skin stiffen and my features change.

"Smells something." Nohorua said gruffly. "Keep him close."

"Oh true, from down by the...."

Duck pond. Down by the duck pond which I felt myself sprinting towards. Nohorua reached for me, but not fast enough. I could feel the two of them in pursuit of me and it only made my legs move faster, my senses keener. I was still running, sort of, my feet hitting the ground every now and then- but I was skimming over their surface, my vision narrowed to what was just in front of me. I didn't need sight or sound. Not right now. I needed blood.