Sam had been missing from school for the last few days and now that he had returned he looked different. There was a confidence to him and a determination.
He had sat across from Ezra for the last year in art class and until now had not mustered the courage to say more than a few words to him. He usually settled for peering through his blonde hair at the boy who dazzled him.
Ezra was an introspective eighteen year old boy who had an understated beauty to him. He was unaware of the admiring eyes that passed over him, something that was happening more frequently since school had started again after summer. His tousled brown hair had lightened slightly in the sun and there were a few freckles peeking out from underneath his long black lashes. His emerald green eyes were piercing when he bothered to look up from his sketches. The delicious habit he had of biting his lip when he was concentrating drove Sam to distraction.
"Ez, I'm skipping gym. Cover for me?" a voice said. Xavier, Ezra's twin brother was grinning into his phone. He had been gifted half the physical appeal of Ezra, but seemed to have collected all the self confidence of the pair.
Ezra barely looked up from his page as he shrugged. After a beat he tilted his head to the side and looked at his brother "Hope you get herpes". The boys grinned at each other. As his eyes moved back to his page he noticed Sam staring at him, it flustered him a bit and drove him back into his silence. As the rest of the period ticked by Ezra glanced up periodically to see that Sam was still looking at him, a strange look on his face that unnerved him. He was relieved when the bell sounded, and made his way hurriedly to gym class.
Ezra changed into his shorts and converse as Mr Dillon told them they were doing cross country today. "Perfect" Ezra huffed to himself as he pulled off his shirt.
As the class lined up and the course was explained he began to wish he had the balls to cut class like his brother did. He put his earphones in and set off with the others, quickly falling behind and veering off the track to a secluded spot to wait out the torture and rejoin the group as they doubled back.
A couple of minutes later he felt somebody standing over him. He pulled out his earphones and looked up. It was Sam.
"I was wondering why you were ignoring me, what are you listening to?" Sam smiled. Ezra just looked at him, not replying. "I know we don't really know each other, but can I hang with you for a bit, I hate running."
"You're on the track team" Ezra replied, bemused.
"Right...umm...Can I sit?"
Ezra shrugged and went to put his earphones back in when something stopped him. He wasn't one for conversation, but something was bothering him. "Why were you staring at me today? It was really weird"
Sam went red "I...um...well, I....I like your eyes." There was a pause, where Ezra's eyebrows knitted together "Look, I'm sorry, I guess that is kind of weird, just forget it, please. I'm just gonna...go..." Sam said as he rose to his feet.
Ezra turned to look at the boy who was cringing into himself "It's fine, stay, Mr Dillon will figure out we're cutting if you go back now." Ezra grabbed Sam's wrist to pull him back down to sit with him.
Sam sat in front of Ezra, knees touching, and leaned toward him when Ezra offered one of his earphones. Leaning into each other, tethered together, Sam could feel Ezra's breath on his face. They exchanged small talk for a while before falling into silence. Ezra looked down a lot, and Sam watched his eyelashes flutter with every blink. As time passed Ezra pulled a marker out of his pocket and set to work adding to the designs already crafted onto his sneakers. As he engrossed himself in his work Sam was going through different scenarios in his head, wondering if he would ever act on them, or if Ezra would be receptive.
Sam touched Ezra's leg to get his attention and left his hand there as Ezra began to reply to his question. Ezra wasn't sure what was happening, and stopped midway through his sentence, looking into Sam's blue eyes. Sam leaned in further and very slowly touched his lips to Ezra's. He parted and smiled a little to himself as Ezra began to unfreeze.
"What was that...?" Sam replied by pushing back into the kiss, with more passion this time. Ezra was still for a moment, and then without thinking, started to kiss back. He grabbed the back of Sam's head and pulled him further into the kiss. He fell back onto the leaves, bringing Sam crashing down on top of him. Ezra instinctively wrapped his legs around Sam and pulled him closer as they writhed together. Sam could feel his hardness meet the pulsing member under Ezra's shorts and he reached down to grab it.
As soon as Ezra felt Sam under his waistband, his eyes flew open and he pushed Sam off him, wiping his mouth. "Oh my God! I can't do this. This never happened, do you understand? I'm not gay!" With that, he turned and ran, leaving Sam alone in the woods, a tear escaping as he curled into himself.
*******
Ezra was known for keeping to his own company, he didn't often go out at the weekends, preferring to stay in his room reading comics and messing about on the guitar.
Xavier knocked on his door "D'you want to come into town with me and the guys? We're going to meet up with Abbie and her friends later."
"I don't really feel like it Xav, I'm just going to hang out here."
"You're such an emo" Xavier laughed.
"Don't be a dick" Ez replied sharply.
"What's up with you? You've been way more antisocial than usual, you've barely left your room all weekend. Come out, it'll be fun, and Abbie told me to tell you that Jess was coming. I think she really likes you."
"Nothing is up. And Jess isn't my type, I wish your girlfriend would stop trying to set me up."
"Is it because she doesn't have a dick? That must be it because she is smokin' and you are acting like a little bitch right now!" Xav taunted, not knowing how close to the bone that comment had cut. "I've got my phone if you decide to stop being a twat." he called, laughing, as he left Ez's room and made his way downstairs.
Ezra couldn't think of anything to shout back after his brother as he left. His head was too full. He knew Xav was just messing about, he hadn't told him what had happened with Sam. It was all Ezra could think about. True, he had been even more antisocial than usual, but he was having a hard time keeping a conversation going with anyone, especially with his family incase he blurted out what was going through his head. This was terrifying.
He liked Jess, he had always thought she was really pretty and was the only one of Abbie's friends who actually had something interesting to say. The two of them always ended up being left together when the groups met up. So why had he just ducked out of meeting with her? Why was Sam in his head instead?
He was having a hard time figuring out why he had got into that kiss. He wasn't gay. But every time he closed his eyes he saw Sam. He saw his blue eyes, his slightly lopsided grin and the dimple that formed on his right cheek, something he had never noticed before. He thought about kissing it. "Wow. Get a grip, Ez".
