There's one more chapter to get this back to the beginning!
5
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The knock on my door was unexpected. I was cooking dinner for Paul and I, waiting for him to get back with some clean clothes from his flat. I was surprised to see Cam on my doorstep alone. It was rare to see him without Emily these days, but I couldn't begrudge him that, I knew how happy she made him, and now I finally felt like I was over him it was good to see that he was in love.
"Hi. This is a surprise," I said, welcoming him inside.
Probably not the best move, I already knew that, but perhaps if Paul saw me and Cam together just being friends he would start to get over his issue with us having a history. It wasn't as if they could avoid each other forever, they were family.
"I know. I've not been over in a while, sorry."
He didn't look as confident as usual, and seemed contrite, and I did wonder what that was about. I was mostly impressed with myself that his presence wasn't doing anything to me. I had thought it wouldn't, but I hadn't been around him to be sure. Of course when he smiled, it was now a reminder of Paul. That was going to seem odd for a while, but it was my own fault for getting involved with two men who looked so similar.
"Do you want a beer?" I asked, heading to the kitchen anyway.
"That would be good, thanks," he called after me.
Even he seemed to see the funny side when he pulled an envelope from his pocket as I handed over the bottle. I must have looked surprised, but I was smiling, knowing this letter wasn't anything like the one he'd given me before.
"I know this may be a little odd, and I will understand if you don't want to, but this is your invite to the wedding," he told me.
That pretty much floored me. I was not expecting one, and I hadn't thought about going until that moment, but it didn't seem the best of ideas even if I was able to move on without him.
"I'm not sure Cam. Do you really want me there?"
"Yes, I do. We want all our friends and family to come, but like I said, I will understand if you think it will be too weird, although it could look strange if you don't."
"It isn't about appearances Cam, you know that. I think it would be a little awkward to sit through your wedding knowing I've had sex with the groom. Perhaps I'll just invent a prior engagement."
"Will your sister let you get away with that?"
"She won't know if I make it work related. Paul will cover for me if necessary."
He looked at me kind of strangely, as if confused by what I was saying. Surely he knew I was seeing Paul? I thought Paul's issue was just with me mentioning Cam, not that he wasn't even in contact with his cousin.
"That's if Paul is even there. I've got to deliver his invite next, I was going with the easy one first."
"Why wouldn't he go? You're family."
"You really don't know?" he asked, clearly confused now.
"Know what?"
"I'm not exactly Paul's favourite person right now. We had an argument and he hasn't spoken to me for weeks. I thought he would have told you."
I was concerned that he hadn't. I would have expected to be told something so major, especially when he knew I was at least in occasional contact with Cam. In fact, I could only think of one reason why he wouldn't, and Cam's apologetic demeanour suddenly made some sense.
"You argued about me?" I asked slowly, not entirely sure I wanted confirmation.
He nodded. "I'm sorry, I really am. I know that it might not mean much, but you really are special to me, I just couldn't be with you long term and I thought you understood that. Paul kept on about how I used you, and hurt you, and I feel awful about it. I knew how much you cared, and I took advantage of that."
I felt myself getting angry, and it wasn't at Cam.
"Paul had no right to speak for me. Those things he said, that's not what I think Cam. I knew what you offered and I took it anyway, knowing the consequences. He doesn't get that and because I was hurt by what happened he thinks it is your fault. Don't blame yourself for anything, you didn't take advantage of me, I went into it with my eyes wide open."
"Thanks, but I still feel guilty. I did anyway, before Paul even knew you, that's why I arranged for you to meet him."
"Yeah, I kind of figured that out for myself, and he thought so too. A bit too convenient otherwise."
He grinned at me. "You mean convenient like when Sara set up for me to meet you?"
"Shit," I breathed out, barely audible, but at least he was still smiling.
"She told me, not long ago. I had to stop myself from laughing at her disappointment that her grand plan to bring out my bi side didn't work!"
We both started laughing, and it was good to have Cam relaxed around me again. It was also good to be able to laugh like that about us and not be regretting that it was over.
"Yep, that is a shame. It was such a good plan as well, get you drunk and put temptation in your way!"
"It was a rubbish plan. It only worked because it was you. How could I resist someone so gorgeous?"
We were both still laughing, but I blushed as well at those words. It helped to know that he did care and think that of me, and I was still smiling and pink when the door opened on the two of us, but the change in the atmosphere was almost instant.
I looked up to see Paul there, key still in his hand, and looking seriously unhappy. I wanted to say something mild to break the tension, but he got in there first, and his voice was almost worse than the glare he was already giving Cam.
"What are you doing here? I thought we understood one another."
