"So, everyone in this room is disease free?" Danny stirred something.
"Well, at least all the guys are." Angela bounced a leg on an armrest of the couch. "I haven't been willing to go with out sex long enough for the test to be completely accurate, but at least I know I didn't have any STDs 3 months ago." She stretched and wiggled her toes. "Between Jason going without for about 4 months now, and our resident celibate sex god, I think I get to be dubbed a virgin by default."
Danny wandered away from dinner briefly. "I don't think it works that way, you'd need to at least do some community service."
"You could give blow job classes down at the community center. Pass your years of experience on to the next generation." All present with a Y chromosome snickered.
"If anyone should be giving lessons it's Danny."
"Why's that?" Jason got plates out, and anticipated a story.
"Danny is very skilled with his mouth, speaking of which, I saw Thomas the other day." Angela snickered from the couch, rolling her blonde head up to survey her friends from an upside-down angle.
"Who's Thomas?" Jason set the table for the usual late Thursday dinner at Danny's. It was only three of them tonight, using it as an excuse to celebrate negative test results all around. Earlier he had wished for Angela to come down with a violent attack of diarrhea so he could be alone with Danny. She was always fun to be around and he actually was glad to have her there, but his crush on Danny was beyond morals.
"Is dinner done yet?" Angela changed the direction of her voice. "Thomas is the man Danny made gay." She strut towards the table and sat. Jason choked on the wine half way down his throat.
"I did not make him gay!" Danny countered from the stove. "It's almost done. You pour orange juice for me?"
"Yes." She turned to Jason, who was having difficulty remembering how to breathe. "I suppose he didn't technically make Thomas gay. He just made him bi."
"How?"
Angela grinned and took a long drink. "Well-"
"Well," Danny arrived with dinner and cut her off, "Angela's full of shit, along with a wide variety of bodily fluids." He served them each. "That boy was bi long before I got to him." Danny wiggled his eyebrows and sat down.
"Agreed. But you made him realize it." She took a few bites. "You're like a sexual Buddha."
"That doesn't make sense some how."
"I thought you were straight?" Jason speared some food and waited anxiously for the answer.
Danny shook his head and swallowed a lump of bread. "No, bi."
"Can I pleeeeeeeeaaase tell the story?" Angela whined with the effectiveness of no other grown woman on the planet.
"Fine, fine."
Jason chewed quietly as possible so to not miss a word.
"When Danny and I lived in New York we would go to this one club pretty regular. The name changed three times but it was pretty much the same place. So we were there and I had brought my frat boy of the week."
"She had a thing for working her way through fraternities." Danny raised the wine bottle at Jason, who nodded and received his second glass. "She was one of the rewards for surviving pledging."
"Any way," Angela made an expression that implied a mental note was being taken to schedule slapping Danny later, "I wasn't serious about him or anything, just something to play with. There's one corner of the club that has couches and's quieter, where you can actually hear each other talk. We started getting into sexual orientation saying that no one is completely straight or gay, that for everyone there's an exception to the rule." Angela paused to actually eat something. Jason finished his second glass and got a third. The table would hide any reaction he may have to the story, but a little chemically induced impotence couldn't hurt, not that he'd ever had enough alcohol for that to happen. Danny stayed quiet and stared at the table a great deal.
"So the frat boy went on an on: I'm not gay, I'm straighter than a ruler, and so on. He wasn't an asshole or homophobic or anything, he just believed it despite the fact he almost stared at guys more than I do." Jason snorted; a few bits of food flew out.
"The voyeur in me suggests, 'If you're so straight you should be able to make out with a guy and not get a hard on.' He's just drunk or stupid enough, I can't remember which, that not only did he agree to it, but I got to pick the guy. I picked Danny, who agreed willingly."
Danny's face pinked a little and he glanced up sheepishly from his plate.
"So I set the rules. Make out for 5 minutes, and Danny was not to touch him below the waist, or play with his nipples or anything like that."
Jason shifted in his chair, the alcohol wasn't helping. He tried to hide his envy of someone he'd never met getting 5 minutes of touching Danny's mouth.
"They both agreed. Danny had to start, but within a minute Thomas was kissing back and pulling Danny closer to him, breathing getting all heavy. I think there may have been grinding."
Danny's face got redder.
"After the 5 minutes, Danny, being the sober one, breaks the kiss and wanders off. Thomas, after a minute or so of shock, ran after him."