Desire

Desires

Chapter 3

I had fallen asleep and awoke the late that afternoon. My head was still swimming from the events of the previous night. I had no real understanding of what had happened or even how it had happened. A bit calmer now, I went to the kitchen and fixed myself some coffee maybe that would help. The shock was beginning to wear off, sleep and the coffee helped with that, now maybe I could think a little more clearly and figure out what was going one with me.

As I sat thinking, I knew that I had allowed my sexual arousal to take over, surrendering to my desire for pleasure that was pretty clear to me. The question was not how it had happened, but what was behind my behavior after that initial encounter. I had spent the night with another man, not only that, but it had felt good, felt right, like it was supposed to be that way. Not only had I had accepted it completely, I was eager for more. Fear crept into place and now that I was thinking clearly again, I knew I shouldn't let that happen again, or should I. What was certain was that I need time to think before another encounter like that, time to consider what the implications were, where it would lead my life.

The best I could come up with at that moment was to get my mind off of it for a time and give myself time to recover. Well there was housework and chores that needed attending to so I got dressed and got busy. All day my mind would start wandering and I would need to focus on the task at hand. I would stop later to consider my next actions, but for now I just needed to put it on the back burner. I finally finished what needed doing and set about fixing myself some dinner. Cooking seemed the only task that day that left no room for day dreaming about sex. I had eaten quickly and began cleaning up before my thoughts began addressing my situation.

I fixed another cup of coffee and sat down on the couch, time to face facts. I had sex with another man, not some quickie blow job, I had gone home with a man, let him seduce me, and spent the entire night in his bed. More importantly, the next morning, I had begged him, begged him for more. There wasn't much doubt, my feelings and the tingling in my body I was feeling as I thought about it, clearly indicated I was gay. This was something I hadn't considered. Yeah, I had fantasized about cocks, even masturbated, but this was way more involved than a quick orgasm. This wasn't a sexual fantasy or even a fetish, the feelings I had experienced only had one explanation, I was gay.

I tried rationalizing things but it kept coming back to how being in his bed, being the focus of his sexual desire, had made me feel good, really good. After some thought, I was ready to admit my situation, but what to do about it. I was lost in a world where I had no clear path to follow, no idea of what was next or how to proceed. So, what was my next step, well I didn't think another marathon sex session was right, so what would be right. I finally decided that I should explore this path a bit more, learn more about the lifestyle. There was so little to go on and my resources for information were fairly limited. I decided that my best course was to hit up another bookstore, find some more information on being gay. I wasn't specifically going to go for more porno, though that would be some of it, I needed something with information about more than just sex. After Friday night, I think I had the sex thing down pretty well.

After work the next day I dropped by the library, it had come to me that it may be a good source for information, but it ended up being mostly a dry hole. Society wasn't yet ready to provide information on the gay lifestyle just yet that left me with the bookstore idea. The next question was where I could not go back to the same bookstore where this whole thing started. The possibility of running into my over night lover was to real at the moment and I wasn't sure I wouldn't end up back in his bed again. I would need to find another. There was one I knew about on the other side of town, I would try there.

I made my trip the next evening, arriving fairly early since I wasn't looking for company and the temptation to slip into one of the movie booths was pretty strong. I needed to focus on what I came for, information so I could figure out where my road was leading me. This store was larger than the first so had many more shelves, but just as in the other, hidden away in the back was the gay section. There were more shelves here and more magazines, including a few shelves with movies. I didn't have a projector, but after checking out a few of the titles, I promised myself I would look into buying one. I finally found what I was looking for, a few shelves with books, not magazines, actual books. I browsed the titles and picked out a couple I thought my have what I needed and headed out.

The first title, a book called, "My Friend," turned out to be a pretty generic story about two men falling in love, interesting but not as helpful as I had hoped. The second book hit the mark. The book was all about a guy who discovered he was attracted to other men. It depicted his life and how he went from a being basically straight to completely gay, totally obsessed with other men. It had some twists and turns in the story one in particular that somehow peaked my interest. It basically detailed every part of his journey, including his becoming more feminine as his obsession grew. I wasn't sure why, but this idea appealed to me. After all, my first real experience had resulted in my taking on the female role in bed.

The more I read the more the idea appealed to me. I had not just taken on the female role, I had embraced it. I would have to find out more about this aspect of the gay lifestyle, maybe the bookstore could provide what I sought, time to plan another trip. I had other things happening the next few nights but by the time Friday rolled around I was ready for my trip. I headed to the store right after work. I didn't want to get there to late because I knew things tended to heat up the later it got. I quickly headed back to the appropriate section and again browsed the book titles until I found a couple more that might have what I needed. I made my purchases and headed back to my car. Once safely in my car, my purchases on the seat next to me, I hesitated to start the car. Those feelings of sexual arousal were flaring up.

I looked back at the store and felt my desire building. I was close, the store had booths, there might be an opportunity for some fun. I closed my eyes and tried to fight back, but it had been several days since I had any release and the tension was hard to fight. My resolve broke down and I headed back into the store. I quickly found the movie booths and slipped through the door. Again the transition was stark, form the well lighted store to the almost completely dark hallway. Just as with the other store, the movies being shown were displayed next to each door. I quickly found what I was seeking and slipped inside.

These booths were different than those I'd been in before these had holes in the wall. I had heard of glory holes and knew what they were and what they were for. I dropped several quarters into the slot and settled in to wait. The wait ended up being pretty long, after all, had come early in order to avoid just this scenario, so the wait wasn't totally unexpected. I had just about given up on the idea and was ready to head out when I heard someone enter the next booth. I had no idea of how this was supposed to work so I continued waiting as I watch the vacant hole. After several long moments, caught movement and a man's erect penis slipped through the hole. This I understood, I reached up and took the erection in my hand.

The feel of this hard cock was exciting. I stared at it as I stroked, my lips parting slightly, my tongue passing over my lips moistening them. Slowly I leaned forward, my tongue reaching out for the tip. As soon as my tongue touched the tip, I was rewarded with the sticky salty taste of his precum. I heard a moan as my lips wrapped around the shaft and he let out a sigh as they slid down his shaft. The man must have been ready long before he entered the booth because it wasn't but a few minutes later that his cock exploded in my mouth. I greedily sucked at his cock, seeking every drop of his delicious cum. I was surprised when he pulled back, I had wanted to continue sucking him, but he was spent and he left me wanting more.

I did want more, but after an hour, I realized that I was going to be disappointed. I had run out of quarters anyway, so quickly headed out. I had a marathon masturbation session after I got home. Even though I climaxed twice before I stopped, I still felt unsatisfied. My body had wanted more I knew and maybe it had been a good thing I left, because I knew what my body craved and I was not yet ready to go back there, or was I. I found the desire too strong the next day and ended up spending most of my Saturday night waiting for more.

This night was better. I arrived at the right time, quickly taking my place next to the glory hole, I waited. I didn't have to wait long because no sooner had I settled in, I heard the door in the next booth close. There was no hesitation this time, as soon as the door closed, a thickening cock slid through the opening. This man's cock was short and thick, and again, he must have been primed to go, because it wasn't long before he was squirting his load. He quickly pulled back and I heard him exit. Before I could get off my knees, I heard the door again. I waited eagerly for my next treat.

This man took his time, but to my surprise, when he did slip his cock through the hole, it was well worth the wait. This cock was big, eight inches at least. It was uncut with just the tip of his cock showing. I surprised myself at how quickly my lips engulfed this cock. My tongue slid underneath the foreskin and the taste of this man's cock sent my senses reeling. I could feel my own erection now, rising as I struggled to take more of this cock. Finally I managed as much as I could and began working his cock. He made me work for my treat, but he final reached orgasm, his cock exploded. I never knew a man could produce so much cum. I struggled to take it all. After what seemed like forever, I felt him pull back.

I had to sit for awhile after that. I could taste his potent cum still and aftertaste that I found pleasing. My own erection was demanding attention but I didn't want to do that here, so I straightened myself up and headed home.