I had a huge crush on Travis in my early twenties. He was about my size, but much more attractive with those green eyes, darker skin tone and perfect Roman-like nose. His perfect straight teeth mirrored my own but his smile was flanked with dimples. And he seemed quite nice every time I visited his cafΓ©.
I dig some recon and found out he and his boyfriend, Amir, owned said cafΓ© (as well as some other places locally) and that Travis was a bottom. Which was fine for me because, at the time, I was a total top. All this made for great fantasy when I was home alone with 'myself' but in reality, I was jealous that Amir got to have that sweet piece of man when he wanted. And, to be fair, Amir was hot himself: tall with those great Arabian features of dark skin, black hair and toned body.
As the year's passed, I never got over my fascination with Travis but life tends to move on regardless. I had relationships, of course, but there was also this 'Travis Thing' in the back of my mind. Things changed in my life and I moved away for a few years. Eventually I returned to the same area. I was older, wiser, much more brazen and had been taking care of myself more. I had lost weight, built a good deal of muscle and had not only grown hair everywhere it should be as an adult, but started seeing grey in my temples and beard. Over the past couple of months I even noticed, much to my chagrin, a few grey chest hair. That's life I suppose so I refused to color my hair, but I continued to take care of my skin and work out when possible three to four times a week.
After a few weeks of moving back, I frequented the area when Travis and Amir had their cafΓ©. The area had changed a lot but his cafΓ© was still there. I decided, for nostalgia's sake, to go in for a sandwich and drink. Walking in I noticed some of it had changed over the years, but they still hired the cute young servers and bar tenders. However, I noticed many of the servers were either too young for me or not as masculine as I like. No matter, I was there for lunch not cruising.
After the hostess seated me I was looking through the menu when I heard a voice off to my right say 'Hi I'm Travis and I'll be helping you out today" For an instant, my mind froze and my heart stopped. Surely this wouldn't be THE Travis, right? Might be ANOTHER Travis, but not THE Travis I lusted over for years prior?!? I hesitated to look over for what seemed like ten minutes. Where had my brazenness gone? I was old, wiser and more adept at negotiation the, sometimes, delicate dance of gay flirting. But I was immediately taken aback to my early twenties when I was shy, nervous and inexperienced.
I looked over and there he was: Travis. THE Travis. Starring at me with those green eyes, dark skin, prominent nose, green eyes and dimpled smile.
"Can I get you something to drink?" he asked.
"Uh...Yeah. Sorry" I muttered as I looked back down at the menu but not at the drink section.
"I'll just take a water with lemon for now" I somehow muttered.
"I'll be right back and then I'll get your order" he said as he moved away.
What the hell was happening to me? I started to feel hot as my face flushed with blood. I closed my eyes and forced myself to calm down. It wasn't as if I was trying to hook Travis; I was just there for lunch. Travis was a happy accident, after all. After a couple of minutes I was able to relax myself just in time for Travis to arrive with the water.
"What can I get ya'?" he asked.
I ordered a club sandwich with a side salad. As he took my menu I held on to it tight. He looked at me inquisitively.
"I'm sorry Travis, for earlier. I used to come here a long time ago and I had such an enormous crush on you then..." he smiled. "...and I didn't expect to see you so when you came to my table..."
"Oh yeah. I remember you!" he interrupted. 'You always came in an ordered a Coke and cheese sticks!' he said. Which was 100% true.
"Yeah that was me" I replied with a chuckle.
"I almost didn't recognize you. You lost some weight and..." he stepped back "...and gained some muscle. You look... so good now. And the grey? I'm loving the grey" he said looking me up and down and smiling. "You have the whole package now..." he said.
I wasn't sure if he meant it or was anchoring for a big tip on the bill. I felt my shyness coming back. Travis, THE Travis was complimenting me on my looks? I never thought I'd see the day. But I regained my composure and smiled at him.
"Well, I'm glad you remembered me! But as I was saying, I was surprised when to came to take my order and, honestly, a little 'star struck' since I had a big crush on you back in the day. And, in the interest of full disclosure, you still look amazing." I truthfully admitted.
He blushed. Did I just make Travis blush? Look, I know you don't know him from Adam, and he might not be 'all that' to you, but to me, Travis was something truly special to me. At least what little I knew of him. He could be a mass murderer and I didn't know, but for then, and now, Travis was THE man for me.
"Well thank you so much...?" he paused waiting for my name.
"Mike. I'm Mike." I said sticking my hand out for a shake. Travis put the menu on the table, grabbed my hand with one hand and placed the other on my shoulder and squeezed. "It's truly my pleasure to meet you" he said as his green eyes pierced my soul. "Let me get your order in and I'll be right back" he said. Right back?
Less than a minute later Travis arrived and pulled up a chair to the table. "So, Mr. Mike, why haven't I seen you for so many years? And why didn't you tell me about your crush?" he asked as he leaned in making himself comfortable at my table.
I told him the abridged story: how I moved for better weather but experience worse people and worse jobs so I came back where the people were nicer and the job market better. He asked why I didn't say anything to him about my crush on him to which I replied "Amir".
"Oh yeah. I guess that's right I was with him then" he said looking down. Was? Then? What did that mean exactly? I didn't want to pry in to his personal life, but something in me forced me.
"You guys still together?" I asked taking a drink of water.
"No, we broke up a couple years back. Bastard was cheating on my for years!" he replied. My mind spun. Why would anyone cheat on such a sexy little guy like Travis?!? So I asked, rather bluntly, "I'm sorry to hear that - I've been there too. But, for the life of me, I don't know why anyone would do that to you. You're sexy, nice, successful... Just doesn't make any sense!"
"Well, I guess some people think the grass is always greener on the other side" he said in such a defeated manner.
" Well, obviously he's a moron" I exclaimed. Travis looked at me and smiled. "Thanks for that. Actually, once you hit forty, you fall out of favor in this community and/or, those once available aren't any longer. Once you hit forty you'll understand if you're not taken" he continued.
"Are you trying for a big tip?" I asked with a chuckle, as I was well over forty.