Part 1 - A Transfer of Ownership
The drone woke. Its Controller needed it. When not in use, the drone was stored in a small pod in the storage room. It sent a query: How long has this drone been in stasis? The response: One year, twenty-one days, nine hours, two minutes. Is further precision required? The drone didn't bother to respond. It opened the pod and walked forward. It tripped on something. It sent an order: Activate lights.
The storage room was a mess. The drone was incapable of annoyance, but the room was in noncompliance with its established layout. If the drone had not been specifically ordered to exit the storage room immediately, it would have returned the room to compliance first. It opened the door and stepped out into the storefront. Its master was sitting at the table across from a young man.
The man looked up at the drone as soon as it entered. "Brian?" he said. He pushed back his chair, lept to his feet, and ran towards the drone, tears streaming down his face. "Oh my God! Brian! Brian!" He wrapped his arms around the drone and held it close to him. The drone did not respond because it had no standing orders regarding a customer hugging it (the drone's standing orders were to view all unknown people in the store as customers if its Controller was present, unless otherwise instructed).
"I take it this is the drone you were looking for?" its Controller asked.
The young man was still crying. "Yes, it's him."
That was not compliant. "Please do not use gendered pronouns when referring to this drone," it said.
"Like I told you," its Controller this time, "It isn't your boyfriend. I'm sure it was, and I understand why you'd want it even though it isn't, but kid, it's not your boyfriend."
"I'm still going to buy him."
That was not compliant. "Please do not use gendered pronouns when referring to this drone," it said.
The man walked away from the drone and gave its Controller something. A payment card was the most likely object, but the drone had no orders to make that assumption. Its Controller would tell it if it needed to know.
Its Controller took the object, pressed it to the scanner on the table, and returned it to the man. "Drone B7-28, your ownership has been transferred to Ira Katz."
Query: Is the man in this room Ira Katz? Response: Affirmative.
The drone looked at its Controller and waited for orders. "Brian, are you okay?" He asked. The drone was not aware of anyone in the room named Brian; the question hadn't been directed at it, so it remained silent. "Brian?"
Its Controller did seem to be referring to it. "Has this drone's designation been changed from Drone B7-28 to Brian?" it asked its Controller.
"Like I said, not your boyfriend," that was from the other person in the room, the one that wasn't its Controller.
"Shut the fuck up!" Clearly directed towards the other person, not it. Its Controller was upset. This other person was in noncompliance.
"Your words and/or actions have upset this drone's Controller," it said. "The cause at this time is unknown. Please alter your words and/or actions to be in compliance."
"What the actual fuck?"
"It was programmed to be a personal service drone with an overriding directive of ensuring its Controller's happiness. Incompetently programmed, I might add. You won't be able to change that, even with administrative accesses. I tried. It's one of the reasons I haven't been able to sell it; no one wants a drone that will reprimand her friends every time they annoy her."
"I'm not a girl."
A fact about its Controller. The drone took note: Referring to its Controller as a girl was not compliant.
"Sorry, I'm a bit old-fashioned. Tend to use the generic 'she' instead of 'them.' "
Its Controller appeared mollified.
"C'mon, Brian," said its Controller. "Let's go."
The drone took this as confirmation that its designation was now Brian and followed its Controller out of the room.
***
The drone had no orders. Its Controller would not give it orders; since installation the drone's only actions had been basic maintenance and keeping its Controller's apartment in compliance. Its Controller had told it repeatedly that it was allowed to leave the apartment, but He had also said that He would not accompany it when it went out, that He wanted the drone to be independent. The drone had no reason to leave the apartment, although it did so occasionally. This seemed to make its Controller happy. The drone wanted its Controller to be happy.
The drone's Controller read a lot, but had rejected its offer of reading aloud to Him so He could engage in other tasks while listening. The drone did not know what its Controller was reading, but it seemed to be difficult. Its Controller frequently consulted other references while reading. That its Controller was struggling in His reading was not noncompliance; difficult tasks brought satisfaction upon completion.
"Okay, Brian. I'm going to try something."
The drone waited. It was incapable of hope, but it calculated the probability of receiving an order to be 87.93%: it could obey that order and be in compliance. The drone wanted to be in compliance.
"Administrator Override: Restore drone access to all memories."
The drone complied. The drone was incapable of confusion, but certain elements of its existence that had been incongruous now made sense. Making sense was good; it made compliance easier.
"Do you know who I am?"
"You are this drone's Controller. You are also Ira Katz, age twenty-two, former high school student. You are not a girl. Your parents' names are--"
Its Controller sighed. The drone stopped.
"Former high school student?"
"An assumption. This drone does not know its Controller's current occupation. It has memories of its Controller being in high school, but probability calculations indicate only a 0.0004% probability that this is still the case. That probability is functionally 0."
"Do you know who I am to you?"
"You are this drone's Controller."
