"Whoa! Slow down there Rain Man. What's with all the muttering under your breath? You look like you are ready to commit murder!" Her eyes quickly scanned the bar. I head her gasp. "Josh is here isn't he! I bet that piece of shit brought that little tart to our bar. Where is the bastard?"
"No Gina it's not Josh. It's that guy you had me take the pitcher of beer too. It seems that I am on an episode of This Is Your Life."
"Who is he Miah?"
"Bailey"
"Bailey?" Her face crinkled up and you know she was trying to place the name. Suddenly her whole face lit up with shock. "Not THE Bailey, Miah!"
"Yup. That would be the one. He tried to play all mister nice guy and I gave him the evil bitch routine and walked away. How dare he think he just come in here and act like nothing every happened. That mother..."
"Miah, he is on his way down here." Gen interrupted. Thank goodness she interrupted me. Otherwise I would have been going off with him standing right there. This also gave me the chance to escape. I ducked under the bar and took off into the crowd. Luckily an awesome dance version of one of Madonna's songs came on and the lights on the dance floor starting flashing and the crowd started going nuts. I stopped half away across the floor and turned back to see if Bailey had followed me. My eyes zeroed in on the bar and I could see that Genesis and Gina had stopped him. I could see that he was scanning the dance floor with his eyes trying to find me. I turned and took off for the hallway that leads to the bathrooms. Once in the hallway I entered the door marked "employees only". Luckily the club provided a lounge for the employees to hang out in and to store their stuff in lockers while on the clock.
I quickly opened the locker that Gina, Gen, and I shared and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that was there. I lit one up and collapsed onto the leather coach. I could still hear the music of the club, but it wasn't as loud. This allowed me to think a little more clearly. What the fuck was Bailey doing in New York City? Ok Miah, think a little more clearly than that. NYC is a pretty big city and a popular one at that. Ok. Why was Bailey at Diversity? There were hundreds if not a thousand bars that he could have went to, but yet he ended up here.
At this point I just wanted a large hole to open up in the ground and just swallow me whole. Why did he have to look so good damn it? Bailey was always taller than me when we were kids. So right now I would have to guess that he was at about six foot three or so. His green eyes still had that brilliant shine to them. He had his black hair cut short and it had that wild messed up look to it. He obviously continued to play football in college, well if he even went to college that is. I really don't know since we obviously were not friends at that point, but his body had that hard muscular look that someone gets only from years of play sports. My eyes welled up with tears. This was just not fair. First he walks out of my life, completely destroying it and then has the audacity to waltz right back into like nothing ever happened.
I know that people are probably thinking that I had some major crush on Bailey and that is why I was so upset about everything that happened, but that was not the case. A lot of people won't understand what my childhood was like, but I am just going to take a quick second and try and make you see why I am so upset. I was an only child and my mother left my father when I was only two years old. I don't hold that against her in any way. Hell if I could have left that early I would have also. Now you may be wondering why she didn't take me with her. And that's a good question. She didn't take me because she feared my father. He threatened her that if she tried to take me that he would hunt her down and take care of her. And how do I know his you may ask? My father told me that himself. I told you he was a bastard.
So life was rocky, to put it kindly. I was all by myself and had no one to love me and I had no one that I could love back. That all changed in kindergarten. That is when I met Bailey. We became best friends almost instantly. We were inseparable. Bailey's mom was kind enough to watch me while my dad was at work. I spent so much time hanging out with Bailey that he became the brother that I always wanted, but never had. He was the one the helped make up excuses when I showed up at school with black eyes and bruises from the beatings my father constantly inflicted upon me. He was the one that never let anyone make fun of me. He was my anchor. Bailey was the one that I could always go to and he always made me feel safe. No matter how many times I got hit at home or how many times that my father belittled me by calling me every name he could think of; Bailey was always there for me to build me back up. He helped me to believe that what my father said wasn't true. He was a light in the darkness the helped me always look toward tomorrow instead of giving up on today.
Then everything changed. The rug was pulled right out from me so to speak. We started high school. Bailey's father pushed him into playing football, and the time we had to together slowly decreased over time. The "popular" kids at school didn't like me for some reason. I can look back now and realize that if they didn't pick on me, then it would have been someone else. So one good thought I try to keep is that I saved someone else from all that punishment. I thought that life had been bad before, but I was in no way prepared for what was to come. Bailey slowly withdrew from me completely. Which to some degree I understood that. What I couldn't understand was that he joined in with their taunting. If he would have just stood in the background or maybe tried to stop them even once it would be different, but instead he helped them with all of their pranks and their name calling.
Unfortunately for me things got worse at home. My dad started to drink even more than he ever had and felt that it was cheaper to beat the hell out his son instead of the punching bag at the gym. That was the worst part of anything. Before I had someone I could confide in and tell me that everything would be ok, but now I had no one. I only had my father to listen to. And as my senior year in high school began I couldn't help to start to believe what my father said. I must have been worthless, disgusting, and everything else he said because I was alone. I didn't have any friends. Everyone at school was afraid to be my friend because that might mean they would be teased too. There must have been something wrong with me because Bailey didn't want to be my friend anymore. Some of you will see where this is headed, and you have to be thinking 'please don't let this be going where I think it is going', but unfortunately you would be right. It was the night of my eighteenth birthday and I just couldn't take it anymore. It happened to be the night of my senior prom and I was home alone. On top of that I was nursing injuries that my father had inflicted upon me that morning. So I took the bottle of pain pills that a doctor had prescribed for me earlier that year after I had "fell" and broke my arm and took what was left in the bottle and swallowed them down.
I fell back onto my bed and just tried to relax and wait for all the pain to end. I dreamed of running away and leaving everything behind, and realized that I was doing just that. I was running away, but the path I was running on would never let me come back. My eyes somehow focused on a picture that was on the table next to my bed. It was a picture of Bailey and me when were in fourth grade. We were at the park and we were coming down the slide together. Both of our faces lit up with joy and happiness. I then realized that I could still find happiness. If I couldn't find it here, then I would have to go looking for it. I rolled off the bed and crawled into my bathroom and forced myself to throw up into the toilet. I was hoping that I was able to get rid of most the pills that were in my stomach. At that point I was so drowsy I ended up passing out on the floor right next to the toilet. I woke up 12 hours later in the same position. I got up and took a shower. I then packed up all my shit and headed out the door. I hopped into my beat up used car and just took off. There was a few more weeks left of school, but I had more than enough credits to graduate. I got onto the highway and ended up in New York City and have been here ever since.
Now I certainly don't want anyone's pity, but I wanted y'all to know where I was coming from. Hopefully now you realize how difficult it was for me to see Bailey again after all these years. Just as I was finishing up my trip down memory lane the lounge door opened and Gina came walking in.
"Oh honey, are you ok?" she asked as she rushed over to the couch I was sitting on.
"I'm fine G. I just had to get out of there. I still can't believe that any of this is happening to me. Please tell me that he's gone."
"He finally left Miah. I hate to admit it, but he looked really concerned about you."
I gave her the classic Miah death stare.
"But of course I still hope that his balls turn purple and fall right off his body so that he can never have sex again. Better?"
I just had to laugh. Thank goodness for Gina. Otherwise I would be a major mess.
