Carter And I Ch 01

Carter, my ex-boyfriend. I should hate him, but I just can't bring myself to. We had dated just after the last day of school during our Sophomore year at high school. It only lasted 3 weeks. We completely fell out as friends. During our Junior year, we didn't have anything to do with each other. We didn't even look at or talk to each other.

It was until second semester Senior year when we started talking. We were both 18 and it wasn't exactly by choice; our chemistry teacher made us lab partners, so we were forced to talk. It took awhile, about 3 weeks, but we became fairly good friends once more.

Unfortunately, this reemergence of us as friends led to me falling for him, which was the last thing I wanted or needed. He was a nice guy but a terrible boyfriend. He was a total whore, a guy that "humped and dumped." He was currently on his 5th boyfriend this school year. But, surprisingly, he had been with this guy for 5 months. I was proud of him and I knew he actually cared for this one.

Carter was also so fucking attractive. He was about 6 feet tall. He had gorgeous green eyes and dirty blonde hair. He was perfectly tanned. He worked out often to keep himself looking so good. He had the most beautiful, sexiest, chest I had ever seen and his abs were something easily worth drooling over.

I smiled at Carter and said hey as he walked into class. He said hey back, glumly, and sat down. Something was definitely up.

The class dragged by, as usual. We took some notes, did a lab, and took some more notes. Finally it was time for lunch and we headed off to the cafeteria together.

"So, Mason and I broke up," he said, sadly.

"Aww. I'm sorry man. Knew something was up when you walked in," I replied, trying my best to be comforting.

"Yeah he said he 'just wasn't feeling it'. But its alright, I mean, whatever," he spat.

"Oh stop it!" I said, aggravated. I'm so sick of him lying to me!

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Don't lie to me. I know you're more hurt by it than you're letting on. You don't have to put up some macho shield for me. Especially since I can see through it. You can talk to me about this kind of stuff, you know. I can be there for you. If you'd just let me in sometimes. I don't know maybe it seems like I don't care about you but I really do."

"I... don't know what to say. Thank you...," he murmured, seemingly confused.

"Uhm yeah sure thing. So who's gonna be your boyfriend in two days?" I spitefully asked.

"Geez way to be an ass," he told me.

"Don't even act like that's not exactly what you're gonna do!"

"Well.. doesn't mean you need to say it," he muttered.

"Whatever. So really who you thinking of?"

"I don't know. Probably Matt again."

"Ok seriously. Four fucking times? What the fuck? Do you actually think he's gonna go for you again?"

"Jesus, what is up with you today?"

"I... nothing." I had to dodge this. I couldn't do this. Not today.

"What? Tell me."

"Its not a big deal."

"So? Maybe I still wanna know," he said calmly as he gently squeezed my shoulder.

"I just thought that this time maybe you'd consider thinking of trying someone else again. Whatever its just stupid," I said bitterly. I looked down at my side. It was hard to look at him.

"I don't under-"

I looked back up at him. "Christ. You're so dense! Carter, I just... ugh! You're so frustrating! I... I don't know anymore. I can't... I can't do this!" I had to hold back the tears trying to gather in my eyes.

"Wait.. Jordan, you... shit." He must have finally realized.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this now. I just can't keep it in any longer. Its been so hard with us being friends again. I'm just an idiot. I thought you were flirting with me in class and I thought maybe we..." I sighed. "Nevermind."

"Well I mean... I... I /was/ flirting with you. I mean something was starting to stir. I thought you were flirting cause of.. well, desperation. But you're actually interested in.. me?"

"Of course, Carter. We... need to meet up tomorrow and talk. It'll be a Saturday and just... I think we need to. Yeah." I was so scared right now.

"Uh sure that sounds fine. I'll pick you up and we can go somewhere and talk."

"Alright," I said, still pretty down. I watched my feet as we continued walking.

"Its ok," he said, the closest thing to comfort I'd ever heard from him.

He stopped me in the middle of the quad and drew me in for a hug. I sighed gently as I felt his warmth against me. I squeezed him tightly then let go and backed away. I glanced around. Some of the jackass homophobes had smirks plastered to their faces. He saw it too. "Ignore them."

"I know. It doesn't matter what they think."

We walked into the cafeteria, said bye to each other, and went to sit with our friends.