Born to Suc

I finished eating my breakfast and as the other boys from the group home drifted outside or back up to their rooms, I went and sat on the little wooden bench on the opposite side of the hallway from Mr. Jarvis' office. His door was closed and I felt a little anxious just sitting there waiting. It felt like being called to the Principal's office at school when you'd been bad. Usually when Mr. Jarvis wanted to talk to you in his office, it was because you'd gotten into some kind of trouble. I sat there fidgeting, wondering once again if he'd forgotten about me or if I'd heard him wrong. I looked at the clock over the front entrance, 8:05. As I was thinking that maybe I'd been mistaken and that I should just go back to my room, I looked up as his office door opened.

"Joey, right on time. C'mon in," he said as he looked furtively down the hallway to see if anyone else was around. As I got up from my seat tentatively and stepped into his office, I noticed that he had a fine sheen of perspiration on his forehead and his face appeared a little flushed. He was also kind of tucking in his shirt as I went by him and then he adjusted his belt. I figured he must have just finished using the private bathroom he had in the back of his office. As I stood in front of his desk waiting for him, I watched as he closed the office door and then I was surprised to see him push the little button by the handle that locked the door. I wondered what that was all about.

"You're what, 18 now, Joey?" he asked.

"Yes sir. I had my birthday a little while ago."

"18 that's a nice age. Have a seat," he said as he motioned to the two chairs sitting in front of his big desk. As I sat perched on the front of one of the chairs, Mr. Jarvis reached into his back pocket and pulled out a hankerchief. As he moved behind his desk, he raised it to his face and wiped off his sweaty brow before sticking it back into his pocket. "Yeah, I noticed yesterday that you looked even frailer and more peaked than usual, Joey. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.

"I....I feel fine, sir," I said.

"Well, just to be on the safe side, I think you should start taking some extra vitamins on a regular basis," he said as he leaned forward and started to slide open the top left-hand drawer of his desk.

"Uh....okay. If you think I should, Mr. Jarvis."

"I do Joey. I think that would be the best thing for you," he said with a smile as he lifted a clear plastic cup out of the drawer. As he moved around the desk and held it in front of him, I could see a milky-white liquid moving about slightly in the bottom of the cup. The medicine looked pretty thick and creamy and I could even see a couple of drops of it sticking to the inside of the clear plastic. He must have dropped those there when he poured it into the cup for me. He came right around the desk and held the cup out towards me.

"Here you go, Joey," he said as he handed me the cup and then perched himself on the front edge of the desk. "This medicine is high in vitamins and protein. It's just the thing for a boy like you."

"Thank you sir," I said as I took the cup in both hands and looked down into it. I could see close up that the liquid was not a smooth white color; it was kind of pearly with almost swirls of some clear areas and then some thicker looking whiter areas. As I held it right in front of my face, it had a very subtle fragrance. It didn't smell like anything I'd smelt before; it smelled.....I don't know....kind of warm and comforting almost. I sniffed again and tried to identify the scent. I held the cup up to my nose again and took another good long sniff. I liked the different feeling I was getting as the distinctive new scent filled my senses. I could feel my eyes close peacefully as I breathed deep one more time and let the peculiar smell settle right on my tastebuds.

"C'mon, Joey, drink it up now, son," Mr. Jarvis said as he looked at me intently. "We don't want you to get sick now, do we?"

"No sir," I said as I brought the small plastic cup up to my lips. I could feel his eyes on me as I tipped the glass up. I looked down into the cup and could see the thick creamy liquid start to slide sluggishly toward my mouth. As the leading edge started to settle on my tongue, I was surprised to find that it was slightly warm, almost at body temperature. I had expected it to be cold. As I tipped the cup up a little higher, one big gob of the gooey medicine slid forth right onto my tongue. I lowered the cup and closed my mouth. I let the warm viscous fluid slide around inside my mouth as I savored the new taste. It was just a little bit salty and tasted....I don't know....the word "musky" came to mind. It wasn't unpleasant at all and I liked the taste as well as the smooth silky texture. I savored the new sensation of the thick creamy liquid as I slid it around my mouth and let the new flavor settle on my tastebuds.

"How do you like that, Joey?" Mr. Jarvis asked as he watched me intently. I looked up at him and swallowed to let him know I was getting the medicine into me like he wanted. This brought a big smile to his face as he watched the satisfied look come over my face. The warm creamy medicine felt silky smooth as it slid down my throat. It seemed to leave a soothing coating along the inside of my throat as it made its way right down into my stomach.

"I like it Mr. Jarvis," I said as I looked up at him and smiled. I looked back down at the remainder of the liquid still in the bottom of the cup. "Can I have the rest?" I asked eagerly.

"Go ahead, Joey. Finish it, it's all for you," he said with a broad smile on his face. I slipped my lips around the edge of the plastic cup and tipped it up. There was enough medicine left for two good mouthfuls and I took one at a time and let the interesting new flavor sensation settle on my tongue for awhile before I swallowed. I savored the taste of the warm gooey fluid before I once again swallowed and let it slide smoothly down my throat. I tipped the glass up and let the final mouthful slip between my lips. I rolled the thick viscous fluid slowly all around the inside of my mouth before letting it settle right in the center of my tongue.

"Mmmmmm," I heard myself let out an unconscious little purr as the creamy medicine made its way down my throat to make a nice warm spot in the pit of my stomach.

"I guess you like that medicine," Mr. Jarvis said as he raised his big meaty hand and pointed to the cup still in my hand. "There's a little more left. See if you can get your tongue inside there and lick out those final drops."

"Yes sir," I said as I tipped the open end of the cup towards my mouth. Fortunately the plastic cup had a wide opening and was fairly shallow. It was pretty easy for me to run my tongue all around the inside edge and then even all around the bottom of the cup as I spotted a few stray silvery drops of the medicine there. With the cup now totally clean, I passed it back to Mr. Jarvis and sat there like a kitten that just finished lapping up a bowl of warm cream. He took the cup and sat there holding it as he just looked at me for a few seconds with a big smile on his face.

"So the medicine was okay, Joey?" he asked as he finally got up and walked back behind his desk and sat down. He quietly opened his desk drawer again and set the cup back inside before closing the drawer.

"I did, Mr. Jarvis. I've never tasted anything like that before. I wasn't sure at first but once I let the taste of it settle on my tongue.....well....I really liked it!" He smiled and nodded when I said this. "And it was so creamy and soothing when it went down my throat. I...I can still taste it." He looked at me with a pleased look on his face as I savored the interesting new flavor still lingering inside my mouth. "I had expected it to be cold and I was surprised to find that it was nice and warm. How did you do that?"

"Oh, that's my secret, Joey. I just want to make it as nice as I can for you to take the vitamins that you need. And besides, the medicine works best if you take it while it's warm too. If you let it get too cold, it doesn't work as well." He paused for a second as he looked at me with a more serious look on his face. "And speaking of secrets, this has to be our little secret, Joey. If the other boys found out, they'd want me to give them some vitamins too. And you especially can't say anything to the other councilors. This medicine is pretty hard to come by and if they found out I was giving it to you, well, we'd then have to start giving it to all the others equally too. If that were to happen, Joey, well, you just wouldn't be able to get it except maybe about once a week at best. And you do want more, don't you Joey?"

"Oh yes, sir!" I said with an anxious worried look on my face.

"That's good, Joey. If we keep this as our secret, I should be able to give you the amount that you need."

"How much do you think I need, Mr. Jarvis?"

"Oh, I think you need at least one good dose a day, maybe two on some days. I'll see what I can do to give you as much as you need," he said as he gave me a conspiratorial wink.

"Oh thank you, Mr. Jarvis!" I said excitedly. "I'll take as much as you think I should have."

"That's good, Joey. That's what I wanted to hear. So do you think you can keep this as our little secret?"

"Yes sir!" I said as I nodded emphatically.

"Good. Now since it's your first day with these new vitamins, I think you should probably have a second dose. Why don't you report back here after lunch at 1:00pm?"

"Yes sir. I'll be here."

"Okay good. Now you better go and do your chores. And remember, not a word to anyone," he said as he pointed his finger at me with a grave expression on his face.

"No sir, I promise," I said jubilantly as I bounded up out of my chair and reached for the door. The lock released automatically when I turned the handle from the inside. As I opened the door, I turned and saw him staring at me with a strange look and a soft smile on his face. "Thank you, Mr. Jarvis. Nobody's worried about me and been this nice to me in a long time."

"You're welcome, Joey. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you," he said with a funny leer on his face. "I'll give you just what you need."

I left his office and closed the door behind me. I hadn't felt this good in a long time. Mr. Jarvis was going to take special care of me. I had always been kind of afraid of him but now I saw the gentle caring side of him that I never knew existed. As I walked into the big farmhouse kitchen, I savored the delightful taste of the warm vitamins still lingering inside my mouth. With one o'clock only a few hours away, I was already looking forward to my next dose of medicine..........

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As the Greyhound bus droned on through mile after mile of dusty farmland, I gazed out the window and thought back on how I had got here and especially the flurry of activity in the last few days. Just a short time ago, I thought I was all alone in the world; now I was on my way to stay with an aunt and uncle that up until two days ago, I never knew existed.

My name's Joey, I'm 18 and I'm an only child. Actually, I guess I should say that I "was" an only child. My parents had been killed in a car accident when I just a toddler. They'd left me with a babysitter that day while they went to a friend's wedding out of town. The accident happened on the way home; a drunk driver hit them broadside and they never saw it coming. They were both pronounced dead at the scene of the accident.

From what I'd been told, the authorities hunted high and low for any relatives of my parents but couldn't find any. Eventually I was made a ward of the state and ever since then, I'd lived in a number of different institutions and foster homes. Some of the people in the foster homes were pretty nice, and I'm not sure why, but I never seemed to stick anywhere. Maybe it was because I was too shy; I don't know.

I'd always been pretty small and frail for my age. The bigger kids always used to pick on me and so I came to just keep to myself most of the time. I read a lot and I've never been very good at sports. I was always pretty quiet, and as I quickly found out, you got into less trouble if you kept your mouth shut. I never even had a regular best friend. Being in group homes, other kids just seemed to come and go, and in the few foster homes I was in, I was always worried about getting to know anybody when it likely wasn't going to last anyways. So I mostly just learned to rely on myself.

Being shy and keeping to myself most of the time, I guess you could say I was pretty naïve about a lot of stuff. I had never had a girlfriend, and figured I wouldn't even know what to do if a girl came right up and started talking to me. That was okay though, I never really worried about it too much; after all, that was the only life I knew.

So over the years, I'd been shuffled from one group home to another, with a few short stays in foster homes mixed in every once in awhile. Like about six months ago, I'd been sent to live with the Quigleys; a couple who already had a boy and girl of their own close to my age. When they made the decision to take me in, I think they were just trying to be good citizens or something. The kids never liked me or even seemed to make any kind of effort. After a little over five months of me trying to fit in and their kids complaining all the time, the Quigleys had had enough. They probably would have liked to get rid of me sooner but they probably felt guilty and kept me on until the end of the school term. They obviously didn't want me hanging around for summer vacation, and that's how I ended up back at Monroe's about two weeks ago.

"Monroe's Group Home" was a state run institution for boys. They usually housed about ten boys at a time with about four or five councilors overseeing us in various shifts. That's where I'd been living for the last while before I went to the Quigleys. It was a big old farmhouse that the government had bought a long time and set up to house boys like me. And that's where I'd first met Mr. Jarvis.

Mr. Jarvis was the senior councilor at Monroe's and had been there long before I was first sent there. He was probably in his early forties and was married. While some of the younger less experienced councilors sometimes stayed with us overnight in the group home, Mr. Jarvis always arrived early in the morning and left late in the afternoon to go home to his wife. I never saw the woman in all the time I'd been there. Apparently he kept his life away from the group home as private as possible. The only thing we knew was that he never had any kids of his own. I never even knew his first name. While the younger councilors always had us call them by their first names, with Mr. Jarvis, it was always "Mr. Jarvis".

He was kind of a gruff man, not much on small talk and always right to the point. He was stoutly built and getting a little heavy around the midsection, like many men his age. I guess you'd say he was pretty average looking, not ugly, but Hollywood wasn't knocking on his door either. I had always tried to keep out of his way and he seemed to respect the fact that I always tried to look out for myself without asking others for help. A couple of times when bigger boys had been on the verge of picking on me, Mr. Jarvis had stepped in just in time to smooth things over. Although he never made a gesture to indicate he was looking for thanks, for some reason it made me feel a little more safe to think that Mr. Jarvis was kind of looking out for me. Like the day the Quigleys had dropped me back at Monroe's.......

I'd gotten back in the late afternoon and just had time to stow my stuff back in my old room and hurry back downstairs if I wanted to get some supper. All of the other boys had already finished but there was still a little ham and macaroni and cheese left for me. I was starving and as I sat by myself in the big dining room, I eagerly dug in. I turned as I heard the gruff voice of Mr. Jarvis behind me.

"So Joey, I heard you were coming back," he said as he walked across the room towards me.

"Hi Mr. Jarvis," I said as I washed down my mouthful of food with a drink of milk.

"They didn't treat you badly, did they?" he asked with a tone of serious intent in his voice.

"No sir. They treated me okay. Their own kids never seemed to take to me; that's all," I said with a big sigh. I used to get real sad when these kinds of things happened, now I guess I was just a little more used to it.

"Did they ever feed you?" he asked as he looked me up and down. "I thought you were skinny before; there's almost nothing left of you, boy."

"They fed me Mr. Jarvis. I think I'm the same as when I left here."

"I don't know. You don't look so healthy. I think you need some vitamins," he said as he scrutinized me from top to bottom. "I want you to get a good night's rest, then report to my office right after breakfast at 8:00am sharp. You got that?" He pointed his big index finger at me to make sure I understood.

"Yes sir, 8:00am sharp."

"Okay, it's time for me to go home," he said as he turned and walked away. As he got to the door of the room, he turned and looked back at me, "Joey, I'm sorry about what happened with the Quigleys. I know that kind of thing is disappointing. While you're here, I'll make sure you're taken good care of." He gave me kind of a shrug and a look that for him passed for a comforting smile.

"Thank you sir," I said and then he was gone through the door. I finished my food and then spent the rest of the night in my room reading. I just didn't feel like socializing or watching TV with the other boys. It had been a pretty stressful day and I was actually glad to be sleeping back in my old room at Monroe's. I turned the light out fairly early and as I drifted off to sleep, I actually felt happy that Mr. Jarvis had seemed concerned about me and was taking an interest in my welfare.

I woke bright and early the next day and hurried down to breakfast. There were some new boys there I didn't recognize along with some familiar faces. As usual, I kept to myself. Breakfast was served at 7:30 sharp, which was the same time as Mr. Jarvis started his daily shift. Just as I sat down, I saw him come in and nod to the other councilors before he disappeared down the hall towards his office. I was a little surprised and a little bit hurt that he never once looked in my direction. I wondered if he'd forgotten about asking me to come to his office after breakfast. Obviously he hadn't forgotten, and that was how I came to have my first dose of medicine.

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At Monroe, you were required to do about two hours of chores per day. Depending on the chore, it was usually one hour in the morning and then one hour in the afternoon. You usually did the same job for a week straight, and then they would get switched up. This week, my morning chore was to help out in the kitchen. Old Mrs. Nesbitt ran the kitchen with an iron fist and didn't take crap from anybody. Her food was good though, so nobody ever complained about her cranky attitude. Today, she set me about peeling potatoes for the evening meal. I sat down with a big basket of potatoes and an empty bucket for the peels and started in on my work. For the next half hour or so, I never looked up as over the last few days I had gotten used to manipulating the sharp peeler.

"Morning, Mrs. Nesbitt." I looked up excitedly when I heard Mr. Jarvis' deep voice. He came in and poured himself a cup of coffee as he chatted briefly with the old cook. I looked at him with a new level of admiration. I was already anxious to spend more time with and couldn't wait for one o'clock to come around. On his way out he stopped next to me and I looked up at him towering over me.