It took a lot of work to set this up. Aligning the woman I was in love with into a conspiracy against her boyfriend, John, my room-mate. Playing people like chess pieces without them becoming aware is a subtle art requiring skill, patience and careful planning. This planning occupied my mind to such a degree that I never stopped to examine my own motives. I didn't think about why I was doing it, just how it could be done.
The seeds of the idea had been in place for a while. I had become Rebecca's trusted confidante. She had revealed to me several intimate details about her and John's sex life, including the key fact that he enjoyed cheesy bondage games. He liked to be tied up while Rebecca went down on him.
"How about blindfolds?" I asked slyly.
"Blindfolds?" Rebecca said. "We've never tried that."
I already had her trust, so the next step was easy. I convinced her that I was a) gay and b) in love with John. Neither was true, not exactly, but I am after all an actor, so I was able to pull off the deception. Rebecca's reaction to these revelations was much as I had predicted. She was not jealous, but aroused.
"Well, if you were a girl, it'd be different," she said. "But it's not like you're trying to steal him away from me, right?"
"No, absolutely not," I assured her. "I just want to suck his dick."
She shivered as if an electrical current had been passed through her body.
"That's fun," she said.
"Oh God, I bet. Tell me again . . . how, uh, big is he?"
Rebecca giggled and held her hands a respectable distance apart. I whistled sharply, as if impressed.
"How thick?"
She made a circle with her thumb and forefinger roughly the size of a half dollar.
"Man oh man," I said. "Boy's got some meat to him."
Rebecca looked up at me with the strangest expression on her face. "You like to do that?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm like you. An incurable cocksucker."
Rebecca shifted in her seat and crossed her legs. The room had suddenly grown uncomfortably warm for the both of us.
"Yeah," she agreed distantly. "That's my favorite thing to do."
"You know what I like?" I asked. She was going to love this. "I like it when a guy isn't really hard when you start, so you can feel him getting big and hard right in your mouth. That's incredible."
Rebecca rolled her head back and gasped slightly.
"Yeah, that's neat," she whispered. "But I like it when he's just rock hard from the start. You know how sometimes they get so hard that you wonder if it's just going to explode and you think the guy must be, like, in incredible pain. Everything sticks out, you can feel every ridge and vein and your mouth is so full."
I swooned a little. I was starting to lose my objectivity.
"It's funny, though," I said slowly. "When a guy comes in your mouth, it's always a surprise. I mean, you know it's going to happen, but it seems like it always happens before you expect it to, and there's always twice as much as you thought there would be. You just let your mouth fill up with this stuff that's being pumped in there and, just for a second, you don't know what to do with it. It seems forbidden to swallow and you have to . . . overcome something within yourself to do it. Some taboo. But, when I swallow it I . . . I don't know, I get some pretty weird ideas."
"Like what?" Rebecca said.
"Oh, like it's not just his semen. Sometimes I like to think it's a piece of his soul he's giving up for me. Some irreplaceable element of his being. And it's like when I eat it, I take that part of him into myself and it becomes a part of me forever."
There was a full minute of silence between us.
"Pete?" Rebecca said finally.
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to hear something strange?"
"Sure."
"Whenever I think of you and John together, it . . ."
"It turns you on?"
"Yeah."
"That's not so strange, Whenever I think about me and John together, it turns me on, too."
"Yeah, but he's my boyfriend."
"Don't rub it in."
Rebecca laughed, and said: "I wish there was a way we could share."
I couldn't believe she said that. Here I was, sweating bullets trying to figure out how to bring that up, and then I managed to put the words right in Rebecca's mouth without even really trying to. I think I deserve bonus points for that.
"There is a way, Rebecca," I said. "I've got a plan so crazy it might actually work."
The next night I found myself in Rebecca's closet, waiting for them to come home so the plan could proceed. Rebecca had agreed to the scheme with surprisingly little resistance. Since I didn't analyze even my own motives, I didn't consider hers too closely, either. Whatever the reason, Rebecca wanted me to do this.
So I waited. My mood was neutral and my mind was blank. I wasn't wearing a watch, so time meant nothing to me.
Sometime later, could have been five minutes or five hours for all I knew, I heard the front door open. John and Rebecca noisily entered the apartment. They were laughing and talking loudly and I guessed they had been drinking. That was good. That could only make this easier.
In the closet, I stifled a cough and slowly flexed my right leg, which had fallen asleep. I was not impatient. I could have waited in the closet all night if necessary.
Then the bedroom door opened and the light came on. I cowered into the back of the closet. The closet door had wide horizontal wooden slats. I could see out, but I knew that also meant John could see in. So I huddled in the back among Rebecca's funky black party dresses. I couldn't see a damn thing, and all I could hear was Rebecca's hurried breathing and that unmistakable little moan she makes when you kiss her neck. I felt a brief twinge of jealousy, but let it go.
"Wait," Rebecca said after a few minutes of that. "I have a surprise for you."