Arlo sighed as he set down the clipboard. He rolled his neck lazily. The bruises from Donovan's last beatings had begun to fade, but he still had to wear make up. In a few days they would be gone and he would be back to normal. But right now, his neck still hurt. He would kill someone for a massage and a glass of wine. Arlo shook his head. He knew he had to keep thoughts like that away.
He had met Donovan when he was in med school. Donovan had been studying to be a doctor too, but ended up dropping out and opened up his own hardware store. The pay wasn't great, but it took care of a bill or two. They had been in love at first sight, and started dating. The first year was great. They were happy and in love. But when Donovan started drinking to cope with the stress of running his own business, Arlo followed. Soon they lost their apartment, Donovan almost lost the store, and Arlo was about to be kicked out of school, all because of their drinking. Arlo finally admitted he needed help, and joined a twelve step program. It was hard, but eventually he was sober. Donovan followed close behind, after Arlo threatened to leave him. It was hard enough to quit drinking, it was even harder when your lover brought home bottle after bottle, reeking of the stuff.
They were both sober for three months, before Donovan began slipping back into his old ways. He became violent when Arlo would get upset. Or even when Arlo was just in the room. That was when the abuse started. Arlo was forced to choose between his health, and his boyfriend. After telling Donovan he had to choose between Arlo and the booze, Donovan caved again. It was an ongoing circle. Donovan would be sober for a few months, and then everything would go back to the way it was. Arlo hated it, but how could he bring himself to leave someone he loved so much? With another sigh, he returned to the front desk of the E.R. to see what else had popped up.
"Ronda, anything new come in?" he asked, looking at a clipboard.
"Something new, alright," the nurse seemed distracted.
"What are you...Officer Hud- erm...Jake," Arlo quickly corrected himself.
"Hey, Doc," the man winked. "Ronda," he nodded at the older woman, who fanned herself and walked away.
"What are you doing here?" Arlo asked, trying to hide the smile that begged to cross his face. Their date had gone wonderfully, whenever Arlo could keep from thinking about what he was doing to Donovan.
"I thought I would bring you some lunch. You're looking a little pale," Jake laughed.
"Am I? Ugh, I didn't get a lot of sleep," Arlo blushed, embarrassed about his disheveled state.
"It's okay, everyone has those days. Can you take a break and come eat?" Jake asked, holding up a generic brown paper bag.
"Uh...well..." Arlo began looking through the clipboard filled with patients that had just come in. "I-"
"Yes, he can," Ronda said, snatching the board from Arlo's hands with a raised eyebrow.
"I think that's a yes," Arlo laughed. Jake smiled, and Arlo walked around the counter to meet him.
"Know anywhere good to sit?" Jake asked.
"There's a beautiful park across the street, let's go over there," Arlo smiled.
"Sounds good," Jake said. They picked a nice clean picnic table and sat down in the bright sun.
"So, what's on the menu?" Arlo tried to peek inside the bag, but Jake moved it out of his view.
"For the main course, we have tuna sandwiches, with a side of doritos. For dessert, a chocolate ghirardelli square. And for your beverage tonight, a nice cold Budweiser," Jake said, in a bad french accent. Arlo smiled as Jake pulled out each item, until he got to the last. He bit his lip, and silently grabbed his own share of food. He began eating silently, trying to keep his eyes off of the glistening beer.
"This is good," he nodded. He didn't usually like tuna, but Jake made them taste different.
"Something the matter, Doc?" Jake raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it," Arlo shook his head, not wanting to make Jake feel like he did something wrong.
"Come on, tell me Doc," Jake pouted.
"...Uh...well...it's just that I'm a recovering alcoholic," Arlo admitted, blushing. He had never gotten used to saying the words.
"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Jake said, looking like a puppy who had peed in the corner.
"No, no. It's fine," Arlo shook his head.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just didn't think about it," Jake said, apologizing.
"I said it's fine. It was just a simple mistake, no harm done," Arlo smiled, putting his hand on Jakes.
"Okay... sorry... again," Jake blushed. It was strange seeing the big man so awkward. Arlo smiled, and they went back to eating in silence. The silence wasn't as awkward as Arlo thought it would be. It was kind of peaceful. "If you don't mind my asking... how long have you been sober?" Jake asked. Arlo swallowed his bite and smiled.
"I don't mind. It will be five years in a few weeks," Arlo said, proud of how long he had gone without a drink.
"Wow. That's impressive," Jake smiled.
"Yeah... I started drinking when I first started med school, with... a boyfriend." Arlo said, thinking of Donovan made him feel guilty. "It was just so hard to stop and, before I knew it, I really had a problem. I guess the thing that really made me pull my head out of my ass was when I was almost kicked out of med school. I didn't want to end up one of those losers you see on "Cops", passed out in some abandoned building with no clothes on," Arlo laughed.
"Yeah, I don't want to be the asshole cop who has to arrest you and find you some pants," Jake laughed. They shared the laugh together, and Arlo couldn't help but smile when the big man smiled. He was so much bigger than Arlo, but so sweet. Arlo felt a twinge of something in his heart. Something he hadn't felt from Donovan in a long time.
"Lunch was fun yesterday, by the way. I don't think I ever thanked you," Arlo smiled, smoothing his pants out nervously.
"Yeah, I had a good time. Just like I am right now. Maybe... maybe we can make this a regular thing..." Jake hinted.
"Way to slide that in there," Arlo rolled his eyes. Jake blushed and took a small bite out of his chocolate square. "I..." Arlo was about to accept, when he thought of Donovan again. Could he really do this? Cheat on his boyfriend? When he accepted the first date, that was different. It could have been just a lunch date between friends, a way for a patient to say thank you to the Doctor. It was only a test, to see what it felt like to be cared for. To be treated sweetly. But now... accepting Jake's offer for a long term boyfriend... that was different. Arlo would be going into this knowing he was lying to both of them. He would be a cheater.
As all of this crossed his mind, he stared into the deep eyes of Jake. The man looked at him so sweetly, and with a soft smile. He was a nice man, and a cop at that. All he wanted to do was help people, just like Arlo. He had treated him to lunch, and came to check in at him at work with another lunch date. Donovan never took him out, or made him lunch. When Jake touched him, it was gently, with light strokes and small squeezes. When Jake laughed, it was with him and not at him.
"I would love that," Arlo said. His mouth spoke the words while his brain still thought it through. He hated himself, and loved himself all at the same time. How could he do this to Donovan? Cheat on him. But how could he not do this? He deserved someone who treated him well, and he knew it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arlo got home late. His phone had died at work, and he had tried the house phone but received no answer. He stepped inside the door nervously, and was relieved when he saw Donovan was asleep. He stripped down, and crawled into bed. Donovan stirred.
"Work keep you?" He mumbled through the deep sleep he had awoken from.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. Did you eat?" Arlo asked.
"Yeah, I ordered in," Donovan said. He rolled over, and pulled Arlo close to him. Arlo smiled and buried his head in his chest. Donovan was sweet when he wanted to be. It felt good to be cuddled by the bigger man. Arlo kissed Donovan's chin gently and shut his eyes, falling asleep in minutes.
The next morning Arlo made breakfast. Donovan woke up about half an hour after Arlo. He sat down at the table, and Arlo set a big plate of pancakes before him.
"Thank you, baby." Donovan grabbed his chin and pulled him down for a kiss. Arlo smiled and moved to grab him a cup of juice.
"What are your plans today?" Donovan asked.
"I think I'm just going to stay at home, clean up a little bit," Arlo said. He swallowed a bite of pancakes and was pleased when his throat didn't throb with pain.
"Alright, maybe we can go see a movie or something when I get off work," Donovan said.
"That would be nice," Arlo smiled. A date with Donovan sounded perfect. After breakfast, Donovan left for work. Arlo had just finished the dishes when the phone rang. He rushed to find the cordless phone, and picked it up on the fourth ring.
"Hello?" He answered.
"Hey, Doc." Jake greeted him on the other end.
"Hi!" Arlo cleared his throat, trying to hide his excitement. Jake chuckled.
"I was wondering if you wanted to do lunch today?" Jake asked.
"Yeah! I would love to!" Arlo smiled, he thought for a moment. "What about if you come over here. I could make something," he offered.
"Sounds great." He could practically hear his smile over the phone. "I'll be there in a few hours," Jake said.
"Okay!" They said goodbye, and hung up. Arlo cursed himself for sounding so excited. He felt like a little schoolgirl who had a crush. He quickly jumped in the shower, coming out smelling fresh and clean. He threw on a pair of nice black jeans, and a blue top. He left his hair disheveled from the towel drying. He looked at his watch, and realized it had only been half an hour. He needed to think of what to do for lunch. He smiled, and grabbed the keys to his car.
~~~~~~~~~~~
He decided not to make lunch, but to wait for Jake. He had bought everything they would need to make pizza, and had spread it out on the counter. The dough was made and was resting, just waiting for someone to stretch and roll it into the flat piece that would be used for their pizzas. He had just finished admiring the fixings, when there was a knock on the door. He brushed the flour off his hands, and couldn't help but jog to go answer it.
"Hey, Doc," Jake winked.
"Hey, hope you're hungry," Arlo smiled.
"Starved." Jake followed him into the kitchen.
"Thought we would do homemade pizzas," Arlo laughed and walked over to the counter.
