Alex and I

I got up, showered, dressed and called my friends to see what their plans were for the day. I might be dejected, depressed and miserable but I could still be that while hanging out with my friends. I met them at IHOP for breakfast before a day of Maryellen's beloved yard sales and flea markets. The woman really did like cheap shit.

"What's up with you?" She asked as I sat down at the table. It was already crowded with most of the people who lived with her and Mondo who by now was used to the insanity that followed her.

"Not much."

"Don't give me that. What happened?"

"Alex came over last night."

"And?"

"His girlfriend left him last night."

"Oh."

"He was drunk."

"Uh-oh."

"One thing led to another."

"Uh-huh?"

"We slept together."

"And?"

"And I woke up with him not in my bed."

"Shit." Maryellen said and looked concerned.

"That sucks, dude. Anyway he just had something to do?" Mondo asked.

"After last night, he could have at least woken me and said goodbye. I'm not expecting a proposal just a little basic human decency."

"I thought he cared for you." Maryellen added.

"I think he does, but I don't think he cared that much. We were friends, he thought he'd give it a shot and he did. It's over."

"Have you called him?" Mondo asked.

"I really don't want to be the stalker one night stand that calls and says something like 'you left a little early. Just wondering if everything's ok. Call me.' Yeah, no. I'd rather not be that person."

"Well, he's a shit head then." Maryellen said.

"Maybe he'll come around." Mondo added.

We spent the day going from sale to sale, rooting through tacky junk that most people didn't want when it was new and finally I headed home to be by myself. I would have thought I'd need people and friendship to distract me but I actually found that I just wanted to be alone. I tried watching t.v. and going for a dip in the pool but neither seemed to help, so I grabbed a book and sat to read. An hour later a familiar truck pulled up in front of the house and Alex walked up to the step.

"Hey." I said in surprise as I opened the door.

"Hey." He answered with a grin on his face. "How do you feel?"

"I feel ok." I said and smiled back at him.

"Just ok? You don't feel terrific? Awesome? Like it's difficult to walk?" He asked and put his hands on my hips.

"Well, now that you mention it, I might be feeling some or all of those things." I said and he laughed.

"Yeah, me too. Last night was incredible! I haven't cum that hard in years!"

He lowered his face and gave me a peck on the cheek then walked passed me and flung himself down on the couch.

"Dude, you have an unbelievable ass! It felt like a hand wrapped around my dick, jerking and pulling it. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Everyone has talents. Some people can do Suduko, I have a different talent." He laughed again. "You left a little early this morning."

"Is that why you're all weird?" He asked, looking like a little boy who got caught doing something wrong and was going to charm his way out of it.

"I'm not weird."

"You're weird."

"All right, I am. I didn't think you'd be back." I said, deciding to be honest and crossing my arms over my chest in a useless effort to protect myself. God, I hate feeling vulnerable. He stood up and came toward me.

"Why did you think I wouldn't be back? You think I'd just sex you up and ditch out? You should know me better than that." He put his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "I had somethings to do, you were sleeping, I figured I'd do my shit and get back when I could. I wouldn't do that to you."

He said and lifted my face to look into his eyes. I felt like such a whiny bitch at the moment and hating myself for doubting him. Of course he wouldn't just leave without a thought. He was my Alex. My Alex. My best friend, my lover, my partner, my life.

"Dude, we're friends." He said and stepped back. "I wouldn't just run out on a friend."

The sick bastard was going to kill me. He was going to outright kill me and the headlines would read, 35 year Old Homo Died Alone of a Broken Heart. Alex sat down on the couch and flipped on the t.v. He looked up at me and lifted his arm.

"Come here, papi. Watch t.v. with me." I knew I shouldn't but I did. I sat next to him and leaned against him feeling the solidity and strength of his body. His arm rested around my shoulders and I rested my hand on his thigh. We watched t.v. for an hour or two all the while, Alex would lean and whisper in my ear things he wanted to do to me later. He described everything in such detail I felt like we were already making love.

"I'm going to suck on your nipples and maybe bite them a little. Not too hard just enough to make you crazy. Then I'm going to lick my way down to your belly button and lick that before moving on to your dick. I think I might want to try sucking your dick? Is that ok, Baby? You want me to suck your dick?"

I couldn't breath much less answer, so I nodded. His mouth was right next to my ear and I felt his thick lips moving against it. I felt his breath as he spoke, and the vibrations of his voice sent shivers down my spine.

"You like the things I do to your body, Josh? You like when I fuck you like a man? Yeah, you do." He said and flicked my ear with his tongue. His saliva left a cool patch which froze and tingled when he breathed. "You like me to fuck you like a man and you like to take it like a man, don't you baby?"

I stood up, my erection pushing forward in my pants. He looked up at me and smiled as I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bedroom.

"You want it now, baby?" He asked and followed me willingly. "Yeah, you want it now. I want it now too." We got to the bedroom and he pulled me into his arms and started kissing me. His talented tongue stroking and massaging mine so good that I wondered if he was ready to learn how to give a rim job. "I want your ass, Josh."

"I want your dick, Alex." I said as we undressed. "I want you to be inside of me."

"Oh I will be, papi."

We were standing naked and pressed against up against each other, our hard ons captured between our bodies. But we had stopped. We just held and stared at each other, sliding our hands up and down the others body. Neither of us spoke, just listened to each others breathing and took in the orgy of sensual stimulation. I saw and felt him. I had the sound of him, the smell of him and the taste of him. He lowered his head and took my lips with his own, his tongue pushing inside again to be with mine. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him even closer to me.

Alex lowered me across the bed and I let my legs stand on the floor. He kept to his word and suckled on my nipples, lightly biting and nipping before kissing his way down to my dick. He took it tentatively in his mouth and suckled on that. I moaned and lifted my head to watch him. His eyes met mine and there was a question in them. He was asking if he was doing ok. I smiled back at him and felt him suck with vigor. I let him learn what it was like to take a man in your mouth before pulling him up to meet me in a kiss. His large cock swung in front of my face and I opened my own mouth to take him. I tasted his salty, sweet, musky flavor as I brought him in as far as I could. His moans and words of encouragement egging me on. He pulled out and came down to kiss me and lay his body on mine, letting me take his weight.

"I want to be inside you, Josh."

"I want you, Alex." I said, trying to speak everything that was in my heart. "I want you so bad."

He found a condom and lube from the nightstand and wrapped himself quickly before kneeling on the edge of the bed and lifting my legs.

"Are you ready, baby?"

"Yeah, Alex. Take me."

He pushed his cock to my asshole and started rocking against it. I felt the large slippery head on my body and moaned as it slipped into me. Slowly he started feeding me his entire length, the girth of it opening me as it moved inward. Finally he was totally in and there he rested. I opened my eyes and saw Alex looking down at me from above. I loved this man with all my heart and nothing felt as right as giving myself to him. He pulled my legs up over his shoulders and leaned down so that our faces were only inches away from each others.

"Is this ok, baby?" He asked.

"It's perfect."

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

Alex withdrew and thrust himself back in, watching my face each time he did. Only when he saw I was ready did he move faster, only when he thought it would give me pleasure did he slow down. I tried to meet his body as he pummeled his cock into me and soon our rhythm increased. We hadn't spoken in a while, saving our energy for breathing, moaning and monosyllabic utterances of pure pleasure. He looked down at me.

"I'm gonna cum."

"Me too." I said and I looked up into his face.

Alex slowed his pace but lengthened his stroke and I could see the fire burn in his eyes. He gritted his teeth and the growl came from deep within his chest and just as he found his release, he increased his pace and slammed my ass in rapid thrusts. I couldn't hold on and came with him covering our bodies with cum.

We fell against each other, lost in the after glow where nothing mattered but that you were together. This time had been different. It had meant something, not only to me but to him. I was sure he felt it and knew that he would recognize it for something more than friendship. I smiled and felt the after glow recede and light my heart.

Alex shifted and rose up, slowly disconnecting our bodies. I turned my face to look at him and saw him frowning.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, but the frown remained. "I gotta go."

"What do you mean? I thought you were spending the night."

"No, I can't. I don't have any of my work clothes." He answered as he got up and started to dress.

"Go get some and come back." I offered.

"That doesn't make sense. To drive all the way there and then all the way back." He answered and had no idea my heart was breaking as he went to find his shoes. I followed him naked and fearful into the living room.

"Stay here and we'll get them in the morning."

"That's just stupid."

He said and his tone left nothing to be insinuated. He was leaving and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I stood silent and helpless and he finished putting on his shoes and headed to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said and left.

The truck started with a roar and took off, tires chirping. He was running away. I stood in the bay window, naked as a jay bird trying to hold on to a hope that he would change his mind and come back. When that hope died, I went back to my bed and lay down till I was too exhausted to stay awake. I hadn't cried though. I had that, at least, for which I could be proud.

I waited for Alex to pick me up in the morning for work but when he didn't show by eight thirty I called Maryellen and had her drive me. I was fifteen minutes late, and got bitched at by Pete. I promised him that it would never happen again and was sent to find Tiny. Tiny informed me that I wouldn't be working with Alex, go figure, but that I would be prepping another area of the site that construction was going to start on soon. It was away from the main job and I guess it worked well, cause I could work alone and not have to bother with anyone. I watched for Alex's truck all day but it never showed. I finally asked someone and found that he was working on another site. No doubt in an effort to put distance between us.

The week followed pretty much like that, going to work and not being around Alex, coming home, choking down some dinner, reading a book and going to bed. The only thing interesting was on Wednesday I found a place a few miles from where I was staying. It was a fixer upper but cute and cozy. Some work needed to be done in every room and the yard was a mess but it would give me something to do at least. I figured I'd start with the pool and get that useable as soon as possible. It was rent to own, so the owners let me move in right away and with the money I had saved up and some I had from New York I signed the papers and took possession. Maryellen offered to help me furnish and decorate it and after a few arguments on exactly what my tastes ran to, she did o.k. finding interesting things from the yard sales, flea markets and thrift stores that she liked to haunt.

I thought that the weekend would come and Alex would call. I figured he would have gotten through whatever he was going through and at least be able to talk to me about it. But there was no call. I spent the weekend planning the work on my house and fixing things that required immediate attention. Two weeks went by and no word from him. I had painted my bedroom and gotten a decent bed, though most of the house still looked like an empty shell. I spent my nights reading, not having gotten cable yet and not really interested in doing so. Work was the same. I still hardly ever saw Alex anymore and then found out he had asked to stay off that job in particular. I went home and cried that night and got drunk. It seemed the only way I could fall asleep.

Two and a half weeks after lasting speaking with Alex, a small crew of six contractors had been moved from the old building to start the new one and I was running brick and supplies for them. I heard a shout ordering someone to get a hard hat and the resulting commotion when that person apparently refused. I turned my head and saw Jen walking straight toward me.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" She screamed, standing in front of me. The entire crew stopped to watch, a few of them smiling enjoying the show.

"Jen, let's just go somewhere and talk about this."

"Fuck that! And fuck you, faggot!! You think you can sleep with someone else's man and get away with it?!"

The smiles that the men had worn faded as comprehension flooded over them and some of their looks turned dark quickly. This was the bible belt after all.

"Jen-."

"Alex is mine! He'll always be mine!! You don't have a shot in hell!! So get it through your sissy mind and fuck off!!! And stop sleeping with other people's men!!!" She said and stormed off.

I stood there for a minute, my face pale white, my hands shaking till Tiny came over from the first building.

"What the fuck was that all about?" He shouted. No one would answer. He stood in front of me. "Well?"

"Some crazy bitch, Tiny. She doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about." I denied what Jen said but knew the guys already believed it. It was a done deal. Not really being friends with any of these guys, I could give a fuck, but Alex. What would they do to Alex?

I got back to work as if nothing had happened but slowly realized that the other guys hadn't. They were working but some snide comments came out as the day progressed. By lunch time, they were openly calling me faggot, cock sucker, fudge packer, and a variety of colorful epithets. The shoulder bumps started not long after and I started to worry that this wouldn't blow over any time soon. It only got worse.

Daryl, one of the loudest men on the crew who says how he should be foreman instead of Tiny but only behind Tiny's back, walked up to me and stood directly in my way. I stepped aside and tried to go around, but he stuck his foot out and tripped me. I fell down hard landing on hard broken cement. I felt blood dripping down my leg and hand.

"Don't get to close boys, faggot here gots the aids blood." He laughed and a few others joined him.

"Fuck you, Daryl. Just get back to work." I said, standing and turning to face him.

"Fuck me? No thanks, you're not my type." He said.

"I'll be gone after today, guys. Just let me get back to work and you won't have to see me again."

"That's not good enough." Daryl said and swung hitting me square in the jaw. I went down again but was up pretty quickly.

"All right, asshole." I said, as I spit blood on the ground. "You want to fight a fag? Let's go."

I held my own pretty well and just when it seemed I had the upper hand, someone jumped me from behind. In minutes I was on the ground being kicked in the stomach, back, face, anywhere they could reach. I could only curl up and protect myself as best I could. When I heard the gun go off I got really scared. This was the bible belt after all.

"If one of you assholes touches him again, I will shoot you dead." The men cleared away leaving only Daryl standing above me. I looked up and saw Tiny pointing a pistol at him.

"Tiny, he's a faggot!" Daryl said as if it made everything all right.

"I don't care if he's a Communist. Get the fuck away from him." Tiny waited for a minute as Daryl thought it over. "You do realize that the safety's off and my hand isn't as sturdy as it used to be. This here gun might just go off for no reason." Daryl left after that and Tiny came and helped me up.

"You ok, kid?"

"Yeah, I feel like shit, but I'm all right."

"We'll get you to the trailer. The police will be here soon." Tiny helped me cross the site and into the trailer where I sat in front of an irate Pete.

"I imagine that hoochie mama was here looking for you?" Pete asked.

"Yeah."

"I take it that was Alex's girl?"

"Ex."

"I take it she wasn't to happy about your and Alex's.... friendship?" I looked up at Pete and saw that he knew what had happened.

"How did you know about that?"

"Son, I had you pegged for... a gay when we met. You're not the first one to work for me, shit you're not even the only one working for me. I'm not going to be marching with y'all but I don't really care what you guys do at home."

"But how did you know about me and Alex?"

"I saw you fall for him the moment you saw him. You dropped them bricks and I thought 'oh shit. Here it comes.' You and he got to be friends so I thought you figured something out that worked for both of you. Who am I to say squat?"

"Yeah, well. Jen found out and she decided to come here and make my life a living hell."

"About that, those guys are fired and the cops should be here if you want to press charges."

"That'd be a little difficult since that's half your crew."

"Not half. Just six of them. They can be replaced and regardless of what you decide to do they don't work for me anymore. I've written up their last paychecks. They're done. That type of shit doesn't happen on my site. No fighting for any reason. Period."

The cops came at that point and I pressed charges against all six of them. There were witnesses who collaborated my statement and they were taken into custody before the end of day. Just another bright point to add to my already impressive list of shitty things happening that week. I sat down with Pete after the cops left.

"Pete, I want to thank you for giving me the job." I started.

"But you're leaving?" He guessed.

"Yeah. Not cause of what happened with those scum bags. I found a job as an E.M.T. I'll make decent money and I'll be doing what I really love to do."

"Well, you can't beat that. I'll be sorry to see you go. You turned out to be a pretty good worker."

"When I wasn't getting heat stroke, gay bashed and dumping bricks, you mean?"

"Everyone has bad days." We both laughed.

"Well, thanks again. You've been a good guy." I said and stood.

"Come down on Friday and I'll have your check for you."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

I went home and sat down on my new couch and watched the world pass by through the big bay window. I would eventually have to get up and finish the very many projects I had to do at the house, some of them I would need a carpenter for. I laughed and thought with a bit of gallows humor that I could ask Alex to do it. Then the thought of Alex depressed me to the point where I did leave the couch and went to look for something to take my mind off of him.