This story takes place in a rural area in upstate New York in 1985.
...
Chapter One: Unexpected.
This wasn't what I was expecting to be doing today. That thought raced through my mind as I knelt in front of the young man who was resting back on my living room couch; a lad who had lived about a half mile down the road from us for his entire life, which would be 20 years come next spring, he had informed me earlier during his confession.
A confession that had begun after he had cleared the weeds along the perimeter of my property, which was a task he had done annually for the last ten years or so. The ground over there was far too rocky and bumpy for the mower, and one day when Todd had pedaled past on his bike and saw me swiping away at the brush with a sickle, he had brought his bike to a skidding halt and walked up to talk to me on the porch.
Volunteering his services for a pittance, I had let him do it after making sure he could handle the job. It was a boring task, but Todd did it eagerly and well, relieving me of the tedious job. Year after year he would stop by when the weeds got high around mid-summer, and either me or my wife Ellie would let him do it.
Ellie's gone now, having passed away suddenly that previous fall, and when I told Todd about it he got visibly upset. Having been away at college when it happened, Todd was unaware of my loss, and his shock may have been what had inspired his confession of sorts. A confession that had begun with him, was then continued by me, and had led me to where I was now, which was on my knees with my hands on Todd's bare thighs. Hands that were hopefully just about to slide up those down-coated thighs on their way to bringing down his shorts.
...
Chapter Two: Crush.
"I always had a crush on your wife," Todd had suddenly admitted to me in the kitchen after he had finished the yard work, and the color rose in his tanned cheeks at that admission. "Hope you don't mind me saying that."
"No, not at all," I replied. "She was fond of you too."
"Uh, could you give me a drink?" Todd asked, nodding toward the bottle of Jack Daniels in the corner of the kitchen counter, my lone vice which had become even more of a hobby over the last few months.
I hesitated at first, but then realized that he was no longer a boy and poured us both one. Todd took it straight, which surprised me, and he sipped it without blinking, which was even more of a shock.
"They're raising the drinking age to 21 soon," Todd said of the upcoming legislation. "Kinda stupid to be able to drink now but not next year."
"When did that ever stop an enterprising college student?" I asked, remembering my younger days which seemed an eternity ago.
"Won't stop us, but might slow us down," Todd admitted with a grin. "That's probably a good thing though."
I asked Todd if he would like to stick around for a while, and when he not only said yes but appeared happy to be asked, we brought the bottle into the living room and sat on the couch.
Watching Todd as he sat on the other end of the couch from me, I was struck by how much he had changed in some ways but in so many others was still the same after all these years.
His hair was still long, in the style of the time, and his golden brown locks had a bit of a curl to them as they fell close to his tanned shoulders. Shoulders that had filled out a bit over the years, but looked right on his lean and lithe frame.
Todd was not quite my height, standing probably a couple of inches shy of six foot tall, but couldn't weigh more than 140. His boyish face still didn't look like it had ever been touched by a razor either, and for some reason I was surprised when Todd put his arm over the back of the couch as he swiveled to face me and I saw the wisp of hair nestled in his armpit.
"Left my shirt outside," Todd said, and I realized that he had noticed what I had thought to have been a cursory visual examination of his body. "Don't want to make your furniture all sweaty."
Todd was wearing only a pair of faded and frayed jeans shorts, having taken off his shirt out in the yard while he was working and having shed his sneakers upon entering the house, and sat up.
"You're fine," I assured him, trying to keep my eyes off his trim and toned physique, or at least be less blatant about my gazing at the barefooted and bare chested teenager.
"You miss her a lot, don't you?" Todd asked.
"Yes," I nodded, pouring another drink. "She's the only woman I ever loved."
That was certainly true, I thought to myself as the image of Ellie went through my mind. Her slim, waifish body and her adorable bowl haircut had swept me off my feet when I had met her after getting out of the service, and when I fell in love with her my entire life had changed.
"I'll never forget the way she smiled at me," Todd said. "She was so cute. I loved her too. I had this fantasy about... well, let's just say that I was crazy about her."
"I don't think you have much problem with the ladies," I assured him. "Not with your looks and your body."
I kicked myself mentally for saying that, forcing my eyes away from Todd's copper hued and completely hairless chest, but I didn't have much time for chastising myself.
"That's the thing," Todd said, looking at me cautiously, almost as if he was afraid to speak and was choosing each word with extreme care. "Don't know if I should be telling you this or not."
"Tell me what?" I asked and smiled. "About having a crush on Ellie? I told you that I don't mind."
"Not that," Todd said, his face pained. "It's that I'm... I'm gay."
...
Chapter Three. Todd's gay.
When he said those words, my breath caught in my throat, but it wasn't only from shock. I had suspected for quite a while that he might be gay, but actually hearing it was a bit of a jolt, and Todd seemed frightened as he looked for my reaction.
"That's the second time I've said that this summer," Todd said after I tried to find words of my own. "The first time - with my folks - Mom was okay about it I guess, but Dad? Let's just say that you're taking it a lot better than he did."
I shrugged my shoulders, giving him a weak smile while struggling with my own emotions. There was so much tension in the room that it felt like the air was crackling around us.
"It's not that unusual," I finally said. "I'm sure that in time he'll get over it."
"You wouldn't say that if you had heard him," Todd said with a wry smile peeking out of the corner of his mouth. "It's cool that you seem okay with that. First I tell you that I was hot for your wife and then I tell you I'm queer. Kinda weird, isn't that?"
"No, it really isn't" I said.
"When I was your age," I said with as much fear in my voice as Todd had in his. "I... experimented some myself."
"Really?" Todd said excitedly. "With guys?"
I started to nod but then caught myself, finally just saying, "No, that's not what I meant."
"When I was in the service," I began. "One time I went on leave with a buddy of mine, and after we hit the bars and struck out with the ladies, we went back to our hotel room. After we went to bed, I felt him crawl into my bed and he started touching me. I touched him back and the rest, as they say, is history."
"Cool," Todd said. "I would have never expected that. I mean, you're such a macho guy, or at least that's the way you look to me. That makes me feel a little better about my fantasy."
"You mean about Ellie?"
"No," Todd said. "The fantasy I had. It wasn't just about her. It was about both of you."
...
Chapter Four: Todd's fantasy.
"My fantasy was about being in bed with both of you," Todd said, his eyes initially unable to meet mine as he stared down at the sofa cushion before shyly looking up at me.
"Oh," was all I could manage.
"Last year when I did the weeds you both came out to give me a glass of lemonade," Todd continued. "You were wearing this white tank top, and the way the hair on your chest sprouted up above the neck of the shirt? That really... well, anyway, later that night I snuck back down here, hoping to catch you guys going at it."
I cleared my throat as I felt trickles of sweat go down my back, and Todd must have thought that I was getting ready to say something or take a swing at him, but that wasn't the case at all, and I kept looking at him while I reached for my drink.
"I stood out by the tree outside your window, and you had the TV on in the room when you both came in. I was hoping you would turn the light on, but I could see enough with the glow of the television. It was beautiful, and I was so jealous."
"Jealous?"
"Yeah, of both of you I think, but I think I was more jealous of her," Todd said. "When she knelt in front of you and took down your shorts..."
"I'm not much to look at," I finally said after an uncomfortable silence.
"You're kidding, right?" Todd said, and the look he was giving me left no doubt that he was very serious.