A Teacher's Love

*** Professor Johnson***

"Welcome to my class ladies and gentlemen. For those who surpass all expectations in my class, you will come to know me as Professor Johnson." I smiled and found myself struggling to appear indifferent.

"To others, I am called PB Teen and no, it has no relation to the magazine. For those of you who are confused, it means 'Professor the Bitch who hates Teens.'"

A blonde girl raised her hand and I encouraged her to speak.

"Is it because you're a hard teacher?" She quizzically looked at me.

"To some I am, but thank you for reminding me. There are two most common confusions around this campus..."

I paused in my speech and gazed over my class. I looked twice over one particular guy who slumped in his chair. His hair was of dark chocolate which was one or two shades darker than his suntanned skin. He wore a white tank that concealed a hard, yet smooth chest under an unbuttoned olive-checkered collared shirt. His excessively baggy jeans were worn one too many times. I sized him again and felt my heart quicken. I began to study his face and unexpectedly felt uneasy.

Once I saw his eyes, I froze like the northern winter winds had hit me. My mouth went dry and goose-bumps spread as fast as fire throughout my body. His eyes were filled with vast sorrow and that sorrow overpowered anything else and sucked the oxygen out of me briefly. All his sadness crossed the room straight into my heart like he was a depressed Cupid who pierced his arrow into my flesh. I hated that. The fury in my heart started to boil. He should hide his sadness when he's in public. It's not right to make me vulnerable also. I fought myself to keep my eyes off him. I didn't want to see the sorrow again. I knew I wanted nothing to do with this kid.

I quickly finished speaking and ended with, "Let's get started on today's lesson."

*** Austin***

I picked my seat and gave a quick scan over at the teacher preparing to give his lifetime commitment to useless lectures. His dark-chocolate colored hair was combed perfectly dividing the shorter strands from the longer ones. His blue dress shirt revealed a patch of light brown curls which almost looked silky. I felt myself stir when I thought (for at most a split second) of what it felt like to touch them. I mentally shook myself yet noticed he had a lean yet strong built which temporarily impressed me.

The memories of the event that occurred the night of my last birthday urged into the front of my mind. I stiffened but forced myself to keep my cool. Every detail was too much to bear. It was agonizing to remember the pain I forcefully endured. I took deep breaths to make myself calm down and stared at the ceiling to try to forgive and forget. The sleepiness spiraled within me. I struggled to keep myself alert.

"Let's get started on today's lesson."

He sounded subtle yet on the verge of choking on his own words. What was his problem? After a few minutes his voice sounded husky and I heard him lecture for about twenty-five minutes regarding how to write a magnificent college paper. I scanned the class and noticed a few people taking intent notes. I looked at my watch and made a decision.

I stood up and gathered my belongings. I became aware that the professor stopped lecturing and I knew he was eyeing me. I continue to move towards the door and I was relieved and surprised that he did not stop me from leaving.

***Professor Johnson***

I stared dumbfounded as I watched the sorrowful guy depart from my classroom. I felt a lump wedged in my throat and worse, my confined heart wearing away feeling insecure. I felt the urge to guide him to an on-campus therapist but my mind told me to leave him alone. I didn't think I could stop him with my five foot ten frame against his six foot two stance I finally sighed and forced my class to resume into session. Before long, I realized I had half an hour. I felt drained so I dismissed the class.

An hour passed by, I turned the monitor on and waited for the computer to completely load. I checked my work e-mail and scanned all of them until I saw a subject line saying, "Homework needed." I learned of his name, modestly gave him the assignment and ended it with, "hope to see you in class." I went back and forth on how to sign it and made a firm decision to display my full name. I clicked "Sent" and saved his address so I'd recognize further one's quicker. I exited all programs, shut down and shortly, packed up my briefcase. I locked my room and said goodbye to the remaining professors.

***Austin***

At six in the evening I received the e-mail I was expecting. I smiled at the surprisingly interesting assignment and gasped at the sight of his name, Toby C. Johnson. I postponed working until tomorrow, since I knew I'd be in my dorm all day. I left my room to walk down to the showers.

"Hey there, Austin. How's it goin'?" I placed my things neatly in the shower and felt compelled to look up. I was surprised to see my roommate wearing a towel draped low on his hips right at the entrance of the bathrooms. I smiled shyly and saw how beautifully sculpted his body was.

"I'm just going to chill tonight."

"Where?" He crossed his arms and looked curiously at me.

"I don't know. I'll find a place." I looked away to hang up my towel on the single metal hook.

As if sensing my weakness, he calmly said, "You're going to be okay."

He turned as if looking for someone or something and realized we were the only two in there. He smiled and walked closer to me. He placed his arms on my shoulders and saw right through me. He leaned in and kissed my mouth briefly. The kiss was soft and tender. It felt sweet and a moan escaped when he slowly pulled away by pulling at my bottom lip. I knew this was an innocent kiss. All he did was put some hope into me. Part of me wished it was more than nothing to Andy. I shook it away and waited for him to go.

"I'll see you in a few minutes." With that said, he left and went back to our room.

I turned off the hot water and quickly wrapped the towel around my waist. I carefully walked back to my room, saw Andy reading. He looked at me and hopped down from the bunk bed. I ignored him and searched through my drawers to find a decent outfit to wear. He placed himself behind me and I noticed his erection was pushing slightly into my towel. He held my hips firmly and let one hand go to remove my towel. I was stark naked and fear spread through my entire body. Everything was similar to how that night happened.

"Andy... I'm not gay." It was the only thing I knew to say to try to save myself.

"Turn around Austin, look at me." I complied and faced his crystal blue eyes. He looked down at my placid cock and held it with one hand. He gave it a few strokes and I couldn't help but gasp at the feeling Andy gave me. I mentally shook myself and tried to get Andy away from me. Andy trapped me and then he pushed into my body. His hand still held my cock.

"I want you." He whispered into my ear as he stroked faster on my cock. Before I could answer, he fell onto his knees and took my cock into his mouth. I moaned and threw my head back. I refrained from touching his head and pushing him deeper and just forced myself to relax and enjoy the pleasure. I felt it all coming to an end soon.

"You shouldn't..." I tried to say but I felt my cock thicken in his mouth and he sucked harder and faster. His head bobbed while his tongue flicked my sensitive spots. Before I could warn him, my cock released jet after jet of cum. My body violently rocked from the orgasm. He stood up and smiled at me.

"What are you smirking about?" I weakly asked.

"The fact that you refused to admit you were gay earlier" He licked his lips and spun me around. He had me bent down and I was stunned as his entire plan came into focus in my mind. I knew what was next and there was nothing I could do about it. He grabbed lube off of the dresser and smeared it over my hole and pushed a finger inside. He held my hips and his cock sank deep into my ass. I was thankful that he didn't plunge in but this hurt like hell too. I knew not to scream or yell, since that's what he told me not to do or I'd get hurt worse. I forced myself to hold it in and after he pulled out and came over my ass, I blanked out. I fell to the floor and blanked out until the next morning.

Every night after Andy raped me, I drove to a local bar. I'd always find an empty seat at the bar and order Corona Extra. I drank until I couldn't focus on anyone. My mind swirled and I laughed at anything I saw. The bartender told me to leave every time because I was a hazard. I cursed at him and stumbled my way out of there.

It's been two weeks since the incident. I drove to the local bar as usual and I saw someone standing in my way while I was heading out. Once the figure didn't budge, I looked up to see a worried face. I did my best to apologize and managed to walk away from him. I looked back and saw his expression change to disappointment. He walked towards me and I started to run but I found myself tripping over myself a lot. Running was the only thing I knew how to do. I wanted to run away from this man and hide from him. He was scaring me but I freaked when he ran after me and caught up quickly. Damn, he's closing in on me. All of a sudden I fell and blacked out.

***Professor Johnson***

Everyday in class I noticed more and more about Austin. He sat looking drained of life. Fear rose when he walked in limping on our second time in class. I knew something terrible happened to him last night and I hated how lonely and confused he looked. I was tempted to call out to him and help him, but I didn't. I stood there and taught my lessons as if nothing was wrong. Days passed and I never called on Austin and he never showed signs of improvement.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to call my friend.

"Hello?" Jamie asked.

"Hey, it's Toby." She asked if I was okay based on the sound of my voice. To be brutally honest, I wanted to cry, but instead I took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you. Something serious is bothering me."

We talked for about two hours and in the end I ended up feeling even worse because I knew Austin was in unimaginable pain. I told her I was going to go to a bar tonight and get over these upsetting feelings.

After we hung up, I changed out of my dress shirt I wore at school. I caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror and gazed at myself. My chest had lots of brown curls and they narrowed once they reached my happy trail. I looked away feeling pale and strayed to the closet. I pulled out a white cotton collared shirt with blue vertical lines. I slipped it on and buttoned all the buttons except the first three. I replaced my khaki pants with a new pair of navy cargo pants. I checked myself once more in the mirror before locking up the house and exiting to walk towards my car.

I found a parking spot in the lot of the local bar. Once I stepped out and walked a few steps, I had so many mixed feelings running through my blood when I recognized who came out of the door. I felt happy to see him, shocked to see him drunk, angry because he was underage, but then all my feelings summed up to a level of concern I wasn't familiar with. I didn't like that he thought drinking his life away was his only answer to his problems.

"I'm sorry." Austin slurred. He looked at me like I was a stranger and it pained me. I watched him walk away and I was surprised to see him look back. I thought maybe he recognized me, so I moved forward. He tensed and began to run. He was afraid of me but I knew I couldn't let him go back to his dorm alone. It was easy to catch up to him since he tripped over himself constantly. He couldn't stay up. He was falling down and soon, he was down for good. Once I knelt by him, I realized he had blacked out.

I pulled into my driveway and leaned my head against the headrest. "God, what happened to you?" I whispered under my breath. I turned around to look at the limp but breathtaking man in the backseat. I realized this was the first time I considered him a man, not a kid, not a teenager, not a student, not a drunk, just a desperate man. I stepped out and opened the back door so I could wrap one arm around my neck and the other around his waist. I supported his lifeless body on me and carried him into my bedroom. I let him fall onto my bed and put him under the covers. I watched him and many thoughts ran through my mind. Without thinking, I bent over and kissed his forehead. I patted his hair and placed a trashcan next to his bed because his hangovers in the morning were going to be a bitch.

***Austin***

Oh god, I felt the first set of urges to puke in the early morning. I caught a glimpse of the trashcan next to the bed and threw up bile along with almost every meal I had in the past few days. I rolled out of bed and looked around me. The second set of urges came shortly after and I stood unmoved until my stomach settled

"Where am I?" I asked to myself and received only silence as an answer. The room was large with sea colored walls along with pearl white furniture. I looked to my left and saw a king size bed and I knew someone had taken care of me, but who?

I walked through a hall and found the kitchen. I found some orange juice to drink and turned around to search the cupboards for glasses. I froze and sucked in air because I felt too nervous to breathe when I saw a broad man lying still on the couch. I quietly found my way closer to him and recognized the face as Professor Johnson's. My eyes widened and my blood seemed to pump louder and faster. My first instinct was to run out of there, but I couldn't help notice him lying there with only a blanket over his bottom and wrapped around his legs. His tanned muscular back was in plain sight. I slowly started to relax when my eyes scrolled up to see his hair tangled in a heap of a mess. The sight of his arms was breathtaking. They weren't fat at all; they looked soft yet amazingly strong. His hairy arms were resting over the armrest letting his hands droop over the edge.

I looked at the coffee table next to the couch and noticed he had been doing papers late in the night. I hesitated to pick up the file but once looking at him again and seeing his peaceful face, I took it to my room. I read over a few papers and made notes on the side. Once I finished, I tore a sheet of paper from his pad and simple wrote, "I'm sorry." I left the note on the bed, looked at him once more, and quickly found my way to the door.

I had some change in my wallet and took a bus that would drop me close to the university. Once in my room, I was relieved Andy wasn't there so I wouldn't have to feel insecure. I crawled into my bed and fell asleep with thoughts of Professor Johnson. For the first time, I slept feeling a sense of safety in my mind and body.

*** Professor Johnson***

My eyes fluttered open until they could adjust to the bright light. I sat in an upright position and stretched my arms. I looked briefly at the clock on the wall and cursed when it said noon.

"Man, how did I sleep so late... and where the hell are my papers?"

I saw the coffee table as empty as my stomach was. I stood up and remembered why I had slept on the couch. I decided to sneak in and check on Austin. I saw his door fully open so I called out his name. No answer. I went in and saw the note and frowned. He left. For the first time I realized I didn't want to be alone in this house anymore. Once I imagined who I wanted to share my life with, I thought of Austin. I imagined his handsome large body lying there under me. I smiled to myself when I felt myself stir. I understood then how much I wanted him in my life, as a student and a lover.

Then, I saw all the papers on his bed and grabbed them. I sat on the bed and looked over what he did. My eyes widened at the notes he took. He impressed me beyond believe. He took notes on students and suggested the fields they needed help in.

"Oh my god..." I let out. "Austin..."

I scanned the papers over and over again until the shock settled and it dawned on me that he had done my homework. I was relieved and still amazed at what he accomplished. All day, while chilling in the depths of my bedroom, my mind focused on Austin, his talent and my feelings. The feelings grew every day I saw him and before class would start, I would stare at his big stature and yearn for him.

Each night that passed, it became harder for me to sleep. As restless as I was, I could not get my mind off of Austin. While the feelings for him soared higher and higher, the feeling of loneliness plagued anything else. I became more depressed and ever so tired of searching for the "one" when I knew he was within my reach every single day, yet at the same time, so far away.

***Austin***

I woke up the next morning feeling complete. I ignored the fact of Andy being in the room and got dressed to go buy a Christmas gift for Professor Johnson. I went into Dillard's and bought him a new dress shirt along with a matching tie.

The cashier lady exclaims, "This is such a nice shirt!" She gasps and says, "The tie matches perfectly!"

"Thanks. If you bought that for your husband, would he like it?" I asked.

"Oh my goodness, he'd love it! Whoever you're getting this for will lose their breath. That's eighty-four dollars and twenty-three cents please."

I gave her the exact change and headed off to Hallmark. I searched until I found colorful Christmas gift wrap that I knew he'd like. I just had a gut feeling that he'd like snowmen making goofy faces. I made the purchase along with tape and scissors.

I wrapped the gift in my car and kept it there. Many days passed where I'd find myself staring at Professor Johnson and he'd catch me. He'd smile coolly and that smile made my heart melt for him harder every time I saw it. We briefly talked after class and one time, he asked what kind of things I liked. I asked him the same and found out we had a lot in common. We ended up staying over two hours talking about our interests. I was in heaven when I was near him.

Before I knew it, the day before spring break came and I took his final. I was the first to finish and found out later, the only one to score above a ninety- five. After everyone left, I walked down the isle to meet up with him. He told me to have a good break. He sounded as hurt as I was to leave him.

"Come to my car with me." I said nervously.

"Why?" He looked up at me with complete curiosity and I swear to god, he had a dirty smirk on his face. It made me giggle.

"I got something to show you." I smiled back.

"Oh...all right then!" His face lit up and I knew now that he'd love what I got him.

"It will only take, at most, five minutes. I promise." I realized I liked being in control. His smile never left his face. He stood and grabbed his jacket.

"Austin..." He inched closer and stopped in his track once he sensed my nervousness. He broke out into a charming, heart-melting smile. "I'm not the busiest man in the world. All I am is a teacher." Behind his charm and wit, I knew that was a line hinting his loneliness. Without thinking I moved to him and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. I hugged and said, "It's okay." He didn't hug back so I let go.

I walked out and made sure he followed me. I opened my car and bent down to get the gift out of the backseat. I turned around and saw him smiling shyly at me.

"Here. It's for you. Open it at home."

He stared at it and traced his fingers along the snowmen. He smiled at it and gave a light chuckle. He looked up at me and his eyes exclaimed all the thanking he needed to do. I looked in a lustful way at his face and saw him return the same look.

"Where do you live Austin?" He asked sadly.