Warning: This story is raw, disturbing, and not for everyone. It is an unpleasant account of how a young woman lost her virginity and was groomed by an older man.
For me this was very therapeutic to write and a story I had to get out.
The story sets the ground work for numerous other adventures.
You have been warned.
Growing up, I was abnormally slow to develop. I was always the smallest person in my class, and often mistaken for being much younger. I wore braces and looked like a complete nerd. It didn't help when all the girls reached puberty and I was left behind. I was teased relentlessly. I had no self-esteem, and I thought I was the ugliest girl in high school. It didn't help that my older sister was the beautiful and popular one in the family. She would tell me how ugly I was every day. She was evil in every sense of the word.
My father was very religious, so I was raised likewise. The only friends I was allowed to have were all from the church. The church was all-consuming during my formative years. In retrospect, it was very much like a cult.
Everything started to change when I was eighteen. I started to rebel against my strict religious upbringing and stopped attending church services and functions. I also began to develop physically. My boobs started growing and my body started to develop curves. I also grew several inches taller.
The thing that I remember the most were my breasts. I was so proud and thrilled with my new boobs. The fact that my breasts were bigger than my older sisters' was just icing on the cake.
As I began to fill out my clothes the boys started to take notice of my perky breasts, not to mention my pointy nipples in the tight thin t-shirts I normally wore. My nipples seemed to rise to attention often as my hormones were on overload at that stage in my life.
Although I was developing physically, socially I was still very immature. I had very limited knowledge about sex and had no guidance as I developed into a young lady. My mother was too wrapped up in her social life and not very nurturing towards me. There were no mother-daughter talks about boys and what to expect or what was right or wrong. There were no stories about the birds and the bees. When it came to sex, I was on my own. I was thrown out into a world of wolves to fend for myself. And yes, they hunted me down.
The summer I turned eighteen, I started my first summer job in an office. I was not only thrilled to be making money for the first time, but also to get out into the real world, away from my strict upbringing.
It wasn't long before I made friends with Mark, an attractive guy working in a different department. He was good-looking and nice to me. He had long hair and was so cool. He quickly became my dream man. I immediately developed a big schoolgirl crush on him. I found reasons to visit him every day.
I spent hours every night picking through my wardrobe trying to piece together sexy outfits from the drab clothes my parents had purchased for me. Needless to say, Mark didn't seem to notice my efforts.
Mark was much older and was a full-time employee. I never asked his age, but thinking back, he was probably in his mid-to-late twenties, about ten years older than me. I realized when I became older what a bad situation that was for a young innocent girl, but back then I didn't know any better and there was nobody to guide me. He was a wolf, and I had no idea.
I so desperately wanted Mark to be my first boyfriend, but although we talked every day, he never expressed any interest in that regard.
I was a typical teen, and I would fantasize about kissing him and what it would be like to have him as a boyfriend. As much as I flirted with him, the summer was coming to an end and he never asked me out. He was clearly out of my league; after all, he had a car, which was a big deal in my book.
On the last day of work, I went and said goodbye to him. He gave me a hug and wished me the best. I was depressed that he never asked me out or even for my phone number. I thought I would never see him again. I had low self-esteem and thought I was just plain ugly, as my sister told me over and over.
My family would spend most of the day on Sundays at church. They would typically return in the late afternoon. I must have mentioned this to Mark over the course of the summer.
One Sunday morning, a few weeks after my summer job ended, I heard a knock at the front door right after my family left for church. I was in bed sleeping and ignored it at first. The knocking continued, so eventually, I put on my robe and went to see who it was. It was Mark. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Oh my god, I wasn't even dressed. I slept in a t-shirt and panties. I had an old long robe over top, and my hair was a mess. I didn't have time to straighten up. What if he left, or worse yet, the neighbours spotted him on my porch? I quickly opened the door and pulled him into the entranceway. I was shocked. Had my prayers been answered? What was he doing here? How did he know I was home alone? He must have been watching as my family left for church.
He told me he had been thinking about me and had missed me. He said he just had to see me again. Then he grabbed me and kissed me right in the entranceway. My first kiss, and I didn't even see it coming! I was in shock.
I closed and locked the front door in case any of the neighbours were watching. I was mortified by my appearance and attempted to leave him to get dressed and groomed, but he didn't care. He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the living room couch. We began making out right there and then. I had so many questions but never got a chance to ask them.
This was the first time I had kissed a boy, and I had no idea what I was doing. On the other hand, Mark knew exactly what he was doing. He kissed me softly, holding my face in his hands. He told me how much he had longed to kiss me all summer. He was telling me all kinds of nice things. Things no one ever said to me before. I couldn't believe what was happening. I just melted in his arms.
As we were making out on the couch, his hands began exploring my body. His hands snaked inside of my robe and began running up and down my body, slowly loosening my robe before pulling it off.
Mark was really getting into it as he pushed me down on the couch and was all over me. I never objected. How could I? This is what I had been dreaming about since I first laid eyes on him.
Mark ran his hands up and down my soft, virgin legs and then grabbed my ass. His hands slid up under my tee-shirt and caressed my breasts. This was the first time anyone had touched my breasts. Within seconds, he sat me up and pulled my shirt right off. It happened so fast that I don't recall having the time to object, even if I had wanted to.
I was now sitting on the couch topless in only my panties. I was so embarrassed and tried to cover my boobs with my arms, but he just held me and kissed me. He told me to just relax and trust him. I was in his trance and just surrendered to him.
He began playing and exploring my breasts. He seemed to like them, and his big hands felt warm on them. He then began sucking my nipples, which seemed odd to me. I was thrilled that Mark seemed so fascinated with my boobs. He told me I had fantastic tits and that he dreamt of touching them all summer long. He had noticed my perky braless outfits at the office after all. He knew exactly what to say to me.
Mark took off his shirt and then pulled me onto the carpeted floor. He reached down and, in an instant, my panties were off. Oh my God, I was naked. With one hand, he held my wrists up above my head as he lay on top of me. His bare chest rubbed against mine as we kissed. He commented on how erect and swollen my nipples were. I had never seen them in this state before.
Again, I had no experience, and things were moving very fast. My mind was still grappling with Mark coming to visit me and the things he had said to me. My brain had yet to catch up with what was physically happening. I had not contemplated what this was leading up to.
I was young and naive. I knew it was wrong to let Mark into the house. It was wrong of me to be naked in front of him and let him touch me, but I didn't care. I had dreamt of kissing Mark all summer and now it was happening. I was in uncharted waters. I liked him so much that I trusted him completely. I didn't want to say "no" to him. I didn't want to sound like a child; I wanted him to know I was grown up and a woman who was worthy of being his girlfriend. He could do whatever he desired, and I would follow his lead. He knew he had absolute control of me.
His hand slipped between my legs and he began massaging my virginal area. A finger was pushing its way inside of me. He stopped and sat up, as I lay there naked before him. He pulled off his pants and then, to my horror, he pulled off his underwear. I remember the shock to this day. Holly shit, what is that thing? I had never seen a penis, let alone an erect penis. I had only sisters, no brothers. I was confounded. I mean, I knew guys had a penis, but I didn't know they got erect and so large. Why had nobody ever told me? Things were moving very fast, and I was confused and getting scared.
Mark laid back on top of me. Our naked bodies became interwoven. I had never been held by a man before, and the heat from our skin felt so nice as we kissed. His hands and lips were moving all over my body as I just lay motionless. I didn't know what to do with my hands.
