"Johanna, skip class with me, we'll go for a walk." I knew she'd blow me off, but I asked anyway.
"I'm not gonna ditch math." It was only the second week of school. A little over two weeks since we made out at the Labor Day carnival and watched the fireworks together.
"Have you ever ditched a class?" She closed her locker.
"Yes, a bunch of times." I smiled. We walked down the crowded hall toward math class.
"Really, which ones?" She thought about it.
"I skipped orchestra a few times last year. Anyway, what's so dangerous or cool about skipping class to hang out in the cafeteria or the lobby?" She eyed me, we were maybe twenty paces from our destination.
"There's nothing dangerous about sitting in a study hall. But we're talking about you and me taking a nice walk in the woods out on the trails -- all we have to do is turn left instead of right." She tried not to smile. We were ten paces from math boredom. I drifted left.
"Johanna, it's brilliant outside, perfect for a seventh period nature walk." I thought I'd failed, but a few steps from the door she turned and followed me down to the first floor.
"Stephen, if we get detention and I miss practice I won't talk to you for weeks." I was smiling, she was serious. I guided her down to the locker room hallway which lead to the football practice fields and then onto the cross country trails. She ran cross country, a sport I never really figured out. Why not run a marathon or normal track? What's the point of having to run over sticks and leaves? I kept that to myself though.
"The gym classes will be down on the softball field, if anyone sees us we'll say we couldn't participate so we had to walk for the period." I thought it was an airtight alibi. She stopped at the doors that lead outside.
"Well, since the gym teachers will be outside, they're probably going to be the ones that will see us and ask us why we're out here." I hadn't thought of that.
"They won't be out for ten more minutes and they always come back in early -- trust me." She eyed me suspiciously but followed. It felt satisfying to be breathing outside air during the school day, a mild prison break euphoria. We walked quickly to the edge of the woods. She was wearing these tiny khaki shorts and I was admiring her from behind a few steps back.
"I like your blouse, Jojo." She was wearing this loose fitting white blouse, her tits poking out at me from beneath the flimsy material. Her dark brown hair framed her face well, ran down her shoulders and back. She smiled, thanked me. We stepped into the shadow of the trees. The path was pretty beat up.
"You guys run back here?"
"Once in a while." Whenever I saw them they were running down the streets outside my house in these little shorts. She was the only one I recognized, the rest were younger kids, lanky weirdos.
"I look for your name in the box scores. I don't know what any of it means though." She smiled, looked surprised.
"It's just run times... You like reading my name?"
"Yeah, sometimes I even say it out loud while I read -- Jo-ann-ah." She giggled.
"Sometimes I look for your name too, and try to figure out the numbers. Once in a while I even get to see a picture of you while I read your mysterious scores." She wasn't really flirty, usually just mildly sarcastic and incredibly witty. We came upon a creek that ran next to the trail, it had overflowed the path. She stopped when she saw.
"Stephen, it's all muddy." She wanted to go back.
"It's only muddy right here, let's just go around it." She stopped at the least muddy spot while I began crossing.
"No, these shoes are brand new, let's go back." She was wearing these baby blue sneakers that weren't meant to be used as sneakers -- that is, worn outside. I came back and picked her up, she screeched and wrapped her arms around my neck. I carried her past the mud and set her down. She straightened her blouse and pulled her shorts down, her cheeks were flush.
"You should of asked first."
"You wouldn't have let me. Which would've been a shame since there's so much more walk to be had." She pouted and kept walking. I took her hand. She looked at me funny but didn't pull away.
"Yes, walking is all that will be had out on these trails today." I laughed. I was hoping for a kiss, not a forest-themed hand job.
"Maybe I should get a picnic blanket and shoot off some fireworks..." She pulled her hand away, slapped my shoulder and giggled. I wanted to recreate a scene -- a hot, wantonly tongue in mouth, hands over the shirt exploration.
"Stephen!"
"I've got to do something. I can't even get you talk to me on the phone for more than ten minutes." She always had an excuse why she couldn't go out.
"Labor Day was fun, but now we're back at school and I'm busy and you should be busy if you want to go to a good college. We can catch the last half of class..." She turned back, I grabbed her hand and she let me take her further in.
"I want to see you and talk to you, Jo." She held my hand at least.
"You see me at school and talk to me on the phone." She knew we'd end up kissing on our little nature walk, I could see the fear in her eyes. The same fear she had before she let me kiss her everywhere during the fireworks -- face, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, knees...anywhere skin was exposed.
"That's not enough, Johanna."
"Then join the cross country team, you can see me every day after school and even on the weekends." I played football when they were running around the woods. She knew I wouldn't, but that's why she said it.
"Plus, you'll probably end up being the star of the team, everybody's hero. We could use you. People might actually come to our matches if the fabulous Stephen Paul was running." She smiled, stuck her tongue between her teeth.
"I'm glad you think it's funny -- mocking me while I declare my affection for you -- in what I think is a more than romantic setting." I smiled and waved my hand at the picturesque scene.
"What do you want from me? You want me to take my clothes off and lay in the middle of the trail and say, 'Here I am, Stephen, blaze a new trail?'" This time I didn't laugh. She let go of my hand and turned to go back to the school. I followed.
"We have this whole year to get to know each other. If you're into someone else then that's fine, I'll leave you alone." She seemed conflicted, didn't say anything for a while, then her resolve returned.
"I already told you, I want to get into a good school -- don't need melodrama, drama, or tragedy this year. My activities outside of school are cross country and studying. On the weekends I have meets, on Sundays I spend time with my family and volunteer at my church. Saturday nights are the only time outside of school I get to see my friends and I'm not gonna blow them off for weeks or months or the rest of the year just to get groped in the back of some football player's SUV."
"That's me, Johanna, I'm some high school archetype that you know nothing about, feel nothing for -- just give me a football and a cheerleader and that's my senior year." It looked like she felt bad about what she said, but that didn't last long.
"You had your chance with me at my cousin's graduation party. I asked you if you wanted to go swimming, but you weren't interested, you left with Tina. Labor Day was a mistake on my part. I should of told you that you already made your choice in June." She had her arms crossed, totally defensive. I was surprised. At that party I was with someone, so what she was saying was completely irrational.
"Was I supposed to tell my girlfriend to find another ride home -- that I was gonna go swimming with this other girl -- someone I really only had a handful of real conversations with the last few weeks of school?"
"Well, then that's that. I guess your chance with me was the three years before, when you only spoke to me to borrow a pencil or to ask about an assignment." She stopped at the mud but didn't look at me. I picked her up and carried her but this time stopped in the middle.
"Why are you stopping?" She thought I was gonna drop her and held my neck tighter. Which I actually thought about for two seconds -- a sort of kiss me/tell me you love me or you get muddy type bargain.
"Say we did go swimming that night, what would it have involved?" She pinched my cheek.
"Well, since I can make up any scenario now and not have to deliver... Let's assume you come over, it's dark, my parents are asleep -- our bathing suits come off, you chase me around the pool for a bit. I let you catch me, you get a feel of anything you want to feel, we kiss until our lips turn blue. You go home, think about me, call me and we go out the next day and every night after." I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little jolt at her skinny dipping scenario. She looked as sure of herself as ever. I thought about dropping her in the mud again.
"You've got such a nice white top on. It'd be a shame if it got all muddy and you had to walk into school and go to last period with even a teensy bit of brown on it." She had something more than daggers in her eyes at my empty threat. She didn't respond. I stood there for a beat longer then continued to dry soil and put her down. She stared at me for a few seconds.
"Johanna, you know I wouldn't drop you in the mud..." My shoes were covered in gunk, especially after sinking down to my laces during our mid-crossing conversation. I lifted a leg to pick off a muddy leaf from one of my soles. She pushed me backward into the mud.
The strength of the push was impressive for such a small female. I landed on my elbow, was covered from right calf to right shoulder blade. I was so surprised I didn't really react. She laughed and ran out of the forest and down the hill. I got up and made my way to the locker room, changed into gym clothes. I went to last period looking like an idiot in gym clothes -- except I had traces of mud on my arms and legs that I couldn't wipe off in time.
We used to grow abundantly,
flower gregariously,
set seed, then die
matted together
and trampled underfoot,
