Linda and I met at church. This was one of those fundamentalist type churches with Sunday morning and evening service, Wednesday evening, no drinking, dancing, or card playing. All dating was supposed to be chaperoned or in groups. The last part seemed a little extreme, since we were both 25. I had finished my engineering degree a few years before, and was working in the energy industry, while she was finishing up her biology degree. We had both been baptized on the same day, and attended regularly.
The church deacons had been regarding me with suspicion, since with an engineering degree, I was suspected of being one of those evil evolutionists. I was also a runner at the time, having run track and field and cross country in college, as well as numerous road races and marathons. Exercise and any kind of fitness though was considered not in a good light. Linda was not athletic, having a few extra pounds but by no means a BBW, just good curves and some soft padding, and a face to wake up to. She did like hiking though, and a number of our dates covered some trails around northern New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and New York. No chaperone, so the church did not exactly approve. We're 25, and we needed to be chaperoned? Right.
I came under even more suspicion when I finally had to retire my old VW Beetle, which was spending more time in the shop, along with more repair bills. So it was new car time. As in a 1980 280ZX. Not a nondescript plain car. Pagan car!
So one Sunday morning in December, at the end of her semester, Linda and I went to church together - in the Pagan Car. So far it was uneventful. Then to Sunday brunch at a decent restaurant. We talked about our college experiences, my running, notably the track meet at 168th Street Armory a weekend ago, and John Lennon, who had just been shot. And then we went to the evening service, where things got interesting, in a bad way. That was when the deacons and pastor lowered the boom on us.
"Ken, we need to talk, there appears to be a little problem." And I saw Linda getting the same. Apparently Linda and I going to Sunday brunch, unchaperoned or not part of a group date, as well as the hiking trips, were the same as us jumping into the sack and having sex. The whole lecture centered around that. Then I was instructed not to have any further contact with her, nor was I supposed to even sit next to any woman at church service, along with some other rules. As I left for the evening, I see Linda in tears. No doubt she was on the receiving end of a heavy head trip, and whoever really tried to mess with her head. She got a ride home from one of the married couples.
I drove home alone in my Pagan Car, listening to a cassette of that evil rock music. Yes, we were only supposed to listen to religious music. I put on Jethro Tull Aqualung. One of the songs was Wind Up:
"And you can excommunicate me on my way to Sunday School..."
I got home to my apartment, and attempted to process what happened that evening.
Wow, taking a woman to Sunday brunch is the same as jumping into the sack and screwing our brains out. What the hell is this, a cult? Arranged marriages for those deemed holy enough? I need a beer. No, not beer, I need a shot of Jack Daniels. Except I didn't have any of the latter, just some contraband Budweiser. Besides, I couldn't get to drunk since I had to be at work the next morning, and it was an important design review meeting. Ha. I used the word hell in a superfluous manner, thought of having a shot of Jack. I'm on the Highway to Hell. No stop signs. Speed limits. Ain't nothing gonna slow me down. Then there was a knock at the door.
"Ken, you there"
It was Linda.
I opened the door. "I thought we were not supposed to see each other."
She immediately threw herself at me. Her eyes were still moist.
"Ken, what did they tell you?"
"Some rot about going to brunch was a serious offense, that it was the same as jumping in the sack."
"I got just about the same. Plus a lot of other stuff."
We continued to embrace, when she pressed her soft breasts into me, and then started grinding against me, which of course naturally produced an erection. And she noticed it.
I was about to say "Linda, what did you just do", when she looked at me and said "We've been judged guilty of having sex, so why not," followed by a deep kiss.
