This story is critical of religion, so if that is going to offend you, I suggest reading something else. There is, however, sex.
Sunday Morning, Nathan's house
Nathan woke and heard his parents moving around downstairs. The smell of the traditional Sunday bacon tickled his nose. It did nothing to alleviate the pit in his stomach. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he dreaded going to church. When he was a kid, of course, he didn't like having to sit still and wear nice clothing, but afterwards, he got to run around with his friends and eat cookies. As he got older, he enjoyed the ritual, the readings, and the sermons, which reinforced his beliefs. And even into his teenage years, when some doubts crept into his mind, he was comforted by the familiarity of everything—the services, the sermons and the members of his community.
And, of course, for the past few months, he knew that he would see Shelby, dressed up and looking beautiful. His Shelby. Who loved him.
But today, he knew that there would be tension. He knew that the gossips in the group would have already passed the word around about the meeting with Pastor Cullum. And that no one would have heard any of their side. He knew that there would be whispering, and continued denigration of Shelby. And he knew that his parents would be watching him like hawks to prevent him from spending any time with her. Even if it would be impossible for them to keep them apart, because of school and the fact that they were not home during the weekdays, they could certainly make things difficult.
But he had no choice. Nathan got out of bed, went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and ran a brush through his short, sandy hair, and went down to breakfast.
Although his parents tried to pretend it was a Sunday like every other Sunday of his life, everybody, other than Tommy, realized that it was different, and they soon ate in silence. Nathan cleared his plate, rinsed it in the sink and put it, and his coffee cup, into the dishwasher, and silently went to his room to shave and change for church.
The ride over was quiet, punctuated by Tommy's childish babble, and his mother's attempt to engage the young boy in what he would be hearing at the service. Nathan leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, visualizing first Shelby's face, and then her breast. But he realized that was dangerous, and he tried to focus on Scripture, to take his mind off of Shelby, but it didn't work.
His father pulled into the crowded parking lot, and they got out of the car, greeting their friends, as usual. Nathan's head swiveled around, looking for Shelby, and his heart leapt when he though he saw her near the church door, only to realize that it was Marcy Johnston, a junior who looked a little like Shelby from a distance. They approached the church entrance, when Nathan felt compelled to turn his head, looking back to the lot, and he saw Shelby getting out of her parents' car, looking beautiful in a patterned dress that was more appropriate for church than her usual outfits.
He knew that his parents would freak out if he waited to see Shelby, so rather than cause a scene, he followed them into the church. Nathan was not sure if he was imagining it, but he was pretty sure that people were subtly pointing toward him and speaking while using their programs to block their mouths. He began to feel pressure behind his eyes, anger welling up inside him about the pettiness and nosiness of his fellow churchgoers. Nathan wondered what Jesus would tell them about minding their own business and not judging their neighbors. He wondered how many of the whisperers could pass the John 8:7 test, since he figured none of them was without sin. And his sin, and Shelby's, to the extent they even had sinned, was trivial.
Nathan took a seat with his family, and not, as had become his custom, with Shelby and some of their schoolmates, and glanced at the program. His eyes went immediately to the text for the sermon: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4).
Seriously? Nathan thought to himself. This could not be a coincidence. Pastor Stephens pulled out his old standard anti-sex sermon to shame him and Shelby in front of the entire community. Nathan turned and saw that Shelby's family was sitting toward the rear of the church. He saw her reading the program, then look up, her face turning red. She caught his eyes and they quickly looked at each other before Nathan turned around.
Pastor Stephens was sitting in his big chair, on the stage, with Pastor Cullum and Mr. Stanton, the deacon. Nathan thought that Pastor Cullum's eyes narrowed when he looked at him, and he hoped that it was his imagination.
The choir began to sing, and the service began. It was a blur to Nathan, who went through the rote motions, but paid no attention to any of it until Pastor Stephens stood to deliver the sermon. He wondered how bad it would be, and whether the old minister would actually single Shelby and him out for shaming.
Pastor Stephens stood before the lectern and waited for silence. Everyone in the congregation who had heard about Nathan and Shelby's meeting with Pastor Cullum, and that was likely almost everyone, understood the meaning of the text chosen, and waited to see what would happen. When the crowd was silent, and he had waited long enough to create dramatic tension, the tall, slim, white haired minister began to speak in his booming baritone, with its hint of his birth in the deep South.
"We all know, or at least we all
should
know," he began, looking first at Nathan, then at Shelby, "that the Lord commanded us against the sin of adultery. We know, or at least we all
should
know, that marriage is a sacred bond between one woman, and one man, joined in the presence of the Lord, and that certain things are permitted of married couples that are strictly forbidden to unmarried people." He looked again at Shelby, and then at Nathan, who sunk down in his seat, trying unsuccessfully to hide his 6 foot tall body.
The sermon went on from there, with Pastor Stephens dragging out most of the usual war horses, the passage from Hebrews that was the inspiration for the sermon, Matthew 19:4-5, Paul's warning in 1 Corinthians 6:16 against prostitutes, which Nathan didn't think was all that relevant to the discussion, the other passages in 1 Corinthians about marriage, and all the other verses that had been pounded into Nathan's head since before he even knew what sex was.
Nathan felt the eyes of his fellow church goers on him the entire time, and it was not a pleasant feeling. Meanwhile, Pastor Cullum sat on stage, looking smug, even though he was a bigger sinner than either he or Shelby ever was. The anger continued to build inside Nathan as Pastor Stephens sonorously inveighed against that which Nathan knew in his heart was not a sin—showing his love to Shelby.
And then, it was over. Nathan had never been happier to hear the word "Amen" in his life. He breathed out and looked back at Shelby. She and her parents were gone.
The service ended, and Nathan ran out of the church without engaging in any pleasantries, but when he got outside, he saw that Shelby's parents' car was gone. He called her cell, but it went to voicemail, and he didn't leave a message. The rest of the crowd was gathering for the traditional punch and cookies on the lawn, but Nathan wanted nothing more than to be able to leave. He texted Shelby, but she did not respond.
Nathan stood apart from the crowd, watching them happily chatting away, drinking punch and eating cookies. He saw the little kids running around and through the crowd, and the groups of teenagers flirting and teasing each other. He saw his classmates studiously avoiding him while stealing furtive glances his way. He thought back to his younger days, and how much fun he had after church. And now, it was awful.
Then, Nathan reminded himself that he actually hadn't done anything wrong. And really, neither had Shelby. But he was being treated like a sinner, an immoral person, and Shelby was being humiliated as if she was a whore. Without doing anything more than asking questions. Yes, there was that breast, in his hand, but it was an aberration, and it went no further. Nathan started to laugh, slowly at first, then louder, as the tension inside him bubbled to the surface. He was laughing so hard that he didn't notice Pastor Cullum step in front of him.
"What's so funny?" the young minister asked him, a cruel edge in his voice.
"Nothing," Nathan replied.
"I hope you learned something today," Pastor Cullum replied, and it was clear that he was not just talking about the Scripture lesson.
"I'm not saying anything to you, Pastor Cullum, since it is clear that nothing that we discuss can be considered confidential."
