Flash story, everyone over eighteen, just a quick story about men's pursuit of women.
*****
Business school in college seems always trying to think outside the box. Trying to find solutions for doing more with less. I was faced with another sort of problem, but it was a business solution that solved it for me.
In this big wide world, there are heroes, villains, good guys and bad guys, big guys and not so big guys. All out there, competing for one thing, and one thing only: pussy
At least, that's the way of things on my campus anyway. And unfortunately, it seems to be that not so big nice guys might as well save up for hookers, 'cause that's about all you're gonna get, unless the girl in question is totally wasted through alchemy or alcohol. That seems to border on rape. The fact that many young girls put themselves at risk for that sort of thing is a very sad commentary.
So for a horny young lad like myself, I had to actually use my brain to get into some lucky girls panties. I decided to use business analytics to figure out a solution to my blue shaded testicles that did not include my right hand!
So I began to think of my problem in business terms instead of rudimentary-rutting- on-campus-101 terms. What do I want? What do they want? And how can I provide it better than the hard bodied jocks, or the trust fund babies, who seemed to have hot and cold running women at their beck and call? This called for my research and development team to come up with a good marketing plan to sell- ME! Or at least certain portions of me. Of course, I am my research and development team!
I decided on an untraditional way of doing market research. I would ask the women! Of course, everyone seems to lie, sometimes even to themselves, but for lack of a better idea...
Here were some of my initial responses:
"Fuck you, I'm calling security!"
"I have mace!"
"What kind of weirdo are you?"
"Don't touch me!"
"Police! Police!"
Clearly I needed work on basic communication skills. Or bail money. So the direct approach does not appear to work for me.
I decided to try the stealth mode. I would go to the commons or the student union and listen to women's conversations. This was easy as I had to at least look like a college student. Which I was.
I was very smart, and pulling a 3.95 GPA, so that was not that difficult. I just treated learning like a business as well. Business before pleasure, getting my work done on time and under imaginary budget. I still had time enough to do the research I needed. But it was not going very well.
What I initially learned about women's conversations was:
They love shoes.
They love clothes.