Here I am. Mid 30s sitting in bed with my wife of seven years, watching sports highlights while she scrolls articles on her tablet. How did we get here? We used to fuck everyday. Twice on Sundays. Now T.v. and tablet time is "our time" in the bedroom.
"When did we become old fogies?" I sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"This! We're just sitting in bed doing nothing like old over the hill people! Where is the passion?"
"Shane, if you want to fool around, we can."
"Of course I do. But where's the enthusiasm? Do you even want to or are you throwing me a bone?"
"Well I wouldn't say let's mess about if I didn't actually want to. As for enthusiasm. You do tend to get pouty and down after you've come."
"Because I want it to last longer. It's like wham bam and done."
Alice just stares blankly at me. She knows I'm the reason the sex ends too quickly but she hasn't the heart to tell me.
"Shane. What would you like to do?"
"I dunno. Spice shit up."
"How?"
"I, I don't know."
"Would you like a blowjob?"
"I don't want a pity suck, Alice."
"Oh now you're being ridiculous, Shane." She snapped turning to her echo. "Hey Alexa, tell me ways hospice up a marriage?"
6 Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Married Sex Life. Making things more interesting in the bedroom doesn't have to be hard....
Try something new....
Make out like teenagers....
Schedule romantic activities....
Share your fantasies....
Watch a sexy DVD....
See a sex therapist.
"Do any of those interest you?" Alice asks.
"Erm. The fantasy one?"
"Okay sweetie, what's your fantasy?"
"Well to have a bigger cock." I laughed nervously.
"Nothing realistic?" Alice scoffed.
"I mean. I'd like to wake up to you blowing me in the morning."
"Okay, I can try that. What about the sexy DVD one?"
"You want to watch porn together?"
"Not particularly, but it's cheaper than a sex therapist."
"Okay, Alice. Let's watch some porn."
"So what should we watch?" Alice asked.
"Whatever you want."
"Well what are the options?"
"Erm..." I paused not wanting to show just how well versed I was in porn categories.
"Well?" Asked Alice.
I shrugged my shoulders.
"ALEXA. WHAT'S THE MOST POPULAR PORN TO WATCH?"
Since 2020 "Ebony" has remained the most-viewed category of video for the second year running, ahead of "lesbian" and "MILF" while "Interracial" and "hentai" completed the top 5 searches. Also searches for the word "trans" were up 134% when compared with last year.
"Well I'm not interested in the milf or lesbian categories, and I have no idea what Hentai is. But wouldnt it be weird to watch ebony or interracial?" Alice asks, throwing her hands up confused.
"No idea." I replied.
"Oh this is silly now. I'll go grab us a drink each and you put the porn on the t.v. and we'll have a giggle." Alice laughed, giving me a kiss before going to fetch the drinks.
Laying on the bed with Pornhub open on our bedroom t.v. Alice walks in with a glass of red for her and a whiskey for me.
"What did you pick?" She asks.
"I was waiting for you." I replied.
"Okay, well let's have a looksie." She said, taking the remote and began browsing the videos.
"Any catch your eye?" I ask.
"Not really...oh look. Most popular searches today. Interracial is top of the list again?"
"Oh..." I gulped.
"You know, I did not think white guys fucking black woman would be so popular." She replied.
"Huh?" I said dumbfounded.
"The Interracial category. Like how is it taboo still?" She said clicking on it.
That's when it hit me. She thinks the interracial will be purely white guys and black women. I wonder how she'll react? I asked myself.
"Oh." Alice said. While pursing her lips. "That is not what I thought it would be." She said sipping her wine.
"Yeah, let's try a different category." I mumbled. Trying not to seem nervous.
"Why do all these women look like bimbos?"
"Huh?" I asked my head now going for Alice to the t.v.
"Ridiculously massive tits, gigantic asses. It's grotesque. Look at this one, how does that even look remotely natural."
"Yeah the body standards are exaggerated in porn, I guess.
Alice scrolled through one by one, getting more peeved by the second. Stopping to sip her wine the image of the movie began to show the trailer of images on what to expect. That's when the massive BBC appeared on the screen.
"What the...No way that's real!" Alice shouted immediately clicking on the link.
A cold chill surged through my body. My hand started to shake. I couldn't hold my whiskey still.
"It won't load." Alice said. To my relief.
"Alice maybe we should..."
"BBC fucks busty white girl in front of her husband." Alice read aloud. "What the fuck is that?" She asked curiously as she clicked on it.
Hi I'm Katie Kox and this is my husband Rick Barcode. The video began as I watched in horror as Alice eyes glued to the screen.
"No way they're really married." Alice laughed, pulling out her phone to Google
Im a hotwife and what that means, well what I like about that is I get to sleep with whoever I want and he stays loyal to me...
"Oh shit they are married!" Alice says putting down her phone and looking back at the t.v.
So yeah, I wear this thing and it stops me getting hard...
"What is that thing?" Alice screeches. Pausing the clip on the close-up of Ricks cock cage. "Shane! Look!" She giggled.
"I can see, Alice."
"Have you ever seem anything like this?" She scoffs pressing play once more.
I don't answer, but it doesn't matter. Alice is in awe of the movie. And I'm in awe watching Alice.
"That's fucking huge!" Alice squeals as the movie segways to the bull entering the room.