Anyone who has spent over six months searching for a job that pays enough to cover all of their expenses, without conflicting with other commitments, can understand the frustration that led Denise Byers to apply as a waitress at Joe Bambino's.
Joe Bambino's was a men's interest restaurant themed on Las Vegas cocktail bars- men's interest being- that the waitresses were thin, young, and attractive, and were required to wear extremely revealing uniforms.
Denise was qualified for the job. Not only was she thin, young, and attractive, but she had six years of experience waitressing at other restaurants, though none that were modeled after Las Vegas cocktail bars.
So Denise wasn't concerned she wouldn't get the job. In fact, she was fairly certain she could edge out any of the competition. Denise was concerned that her life situation had cornered her into this option.
She turned in applications all over. She was waiting for a callback from Charley Muir's, and she even applied as a receptionist at SBH Unlimited- a very successful computer company.
Yet, it was only Joe Bambino's that had offered her an interview, even after persistent calls to every other restaurant in town.
Denise dressed up for the interview. Why shouldn't she? Just because it was a sleazy joint for infidelious husbands or lowlife jerks who could never be with any woman they weren't paying to be with didn't mean she shouldn't treat the occasion with the respect she showed to all of her prospective employers.
She might have to work half-naked if she got the job, but damn it; she was going to look as refined as she could while applying for it.
The interviewer, a tall, scruffy haired man who went by the name of Jake Russier, looked over Denise's resume with a look of complete boredom on his unshaven face.
He set her resume aside and stared at her blankly.
"So," he began. "You got a lot of experience waiting tables?"
Wondering if he was asking that as a question, or mentioning it rhetorically after reading her resume, Denise deducted he hadn't really read her resume at all.
"I worked at Coney Island for three years, and Alfoncino's for two years after that," Denise said. "I also have one year of experience working at a Pub at Great Oaks Mall."
Jake nodded.
"Good, good," he said.
Denise waited for him to ask another question, but he just sat there, as if he had just awoken from three days of sleeping. Denise was about to elaborate on her past jobs when Jake finally spoke again.
"Given what you've seen at this restaurant, just walking through it to my office- does it look like something you want to do?"
Denise took a breath. This was one of those parts in every job interview- the part where you have to BS it. She needed this job; there was no doubt about that.
"I think it seems like an exciting place," Denise said.
It was like an out-of-body experience, hearing herself lie to land the job. Denise continued, painting the rosiest picture of herself she could to get Jake- whatever his last name was- to like her enough to hire her.
"I like the atmosphere, and the people here seem nice. I'm sure I'll have a great time working for you, Mr. Russier," Denise said.
Jake nodded again.
"Good," he said. "I just got to make sure, you know. I got to make sure that you're aware of what kind of place this is, and the kind of expectations I have of all my ladies here."
"I am aware," Denise said.
"I don't know how many girls who've quit cause they couldn't take the pressure, or didn't like the way the customers talked to them, or the other expectations we have of them."
"I can assure you that will not happen with me, Mr. Russier," Denise said. "I plan to stay here on a long-term basis and I always grant my employer's two weeks notice before departures."
"That's good," Jake said. "I'm glad to hear that. Now I should go over, just to make sure you're aware of all the expectations at this restaurant."
Jake coughed, and held up a fist, and extended his index finger.
"Number one- you got to wear the outfit. It's small, it doesn't cover much, but its what the customers want and you got to give it to them," Jake said.
"Not a problem," Denise said.
Jake continued to hold up his index finger, and then extended his middle finger as well.
"Number two- you got to be able to put up with the comments. The guys here are going to talk like- well guys. They're going to talk about your body, and they're going to ask you for your phone number and all that shit. Whether or not you want to give them that information is up to you, but you got to take it with a smile. You got to flirt with them. It's part of the job," Jake said.
Denise was apprehensive about this, but decided it was worth it if it helped her pay her rent.
Jake raised his ring finger.
"Number three- and this is the one the girls hate. I've lost a lot of waitresses because of this one, but it's an important one, to our business," Jake said.
Denise wondered what Jake was talking about.
"About a year and a half ago, we enacted this new event, every Wednesday night. We called it, Spank a Waitress Wednesday," Jake said.
"I beg your pardon?" Denise asked. She was certain she'd heard him correctly, but this couldn't be real.
"Spank a Waitress Wednesday," Jake repeated. "The way it works is, every Wednesday night, the customers can buy a ticket and throw it into a bowl. We draw a name out of the bowl, and the winner gets to spank a waitress."
Denise blinked.
"You actually do this?" she asked.
"It has done- amazing- things for out business. Wednesdays used to be really slow, and now, they are- our busiest day of the week. The place is packed, every Wednesday night."
Denise didn't know how to respond.
"So anyway, every waitress on the clock that night has to put her nametag in a bowl. The winner gets to draw one tag from that bowl, and the waitress he picks gets spanked," Jake said.
Denise tried to imagine this happening, but couldn't.
"So, does she have to bend over his lap or something?" Denise asked.
"No, no, she goes on stage. She bends over a table, and the winner is given a Joe Bambino's paddle. The waitress has to lift her skirt above her waist, and the winner gives her twenty swats. The audience gets to watch and everybody cheers afterwards."
"Wow," Denise said. "I did not know about this."
"Well, that's why I'm telling you now," Jake said. "If you accept this job, Wednesday nights, this is an official job requirement. So before I hire you, I got to know if you're okay with this." Thoughts poured through Denise's head. Her rent, her car payments, her college classes. Denise took a breath and responded.
"I am totally okay with that," Denise said.
Jake smiled.
"Good," he said.
Denise set her car keys on the kitchen counter of her apartment. The red light on her answering machine was blinking. Denise set down her purse and pressed the button.
"Ms. Byers? This is Chris from Charley Muir's," the answering message said.
Denise perked up and listened more intently.
"We read over your resume and we thought you'd be an excellent employee. Unfortunately, were a bit full on waitresses with now and were cutting back hours. I'm sorry, but we'll call you in a few months if we need the help."
Denise kicked off her shoes and they slammed into the wall.
"What's the matter?" Ally, her roommate said, wandering into the room.
"Charley Muir's doesn't need me," Denise sulked.
The answering machine beeped, and another message played.
"This is Joan Everson from SBH Unlimited, calling for Denise Byers. We'd like to tell you we've accepted you for an interview," the message said.
"Oh my God!" Ally shouted.
"If you call back, we can arrange an interview time. Our pay begins at $7.50 an hour, though raises will be given for good performance at regular intervals. If you have any other questions, you can call us back at 396-555-0982."
Ally smiled with excitement.
"You go the interview! Way to go!" Ally said.