Back in the late eighties my girlfriend Chelsea and I spent a summer in Key West. We were both in our early twenties and had really just started seeing one another. She had long wavy honey blond hair with big brown eyes, stood 5' 7" and weighed about 125lbs. I was 6', 180 lbs with wavy brown hair to my shoulders and green eyes. At the time I knew she was really good looking, but looking back now, I think we were both probably pretty alright.
When we met, Chelsea already had plans to stay with a friend in Marathon, Fl. for the summer. The more time we spent together though, the less we wanted to spend the summer apart. We were both going to school in Montreal and it was always so hard to find a job there, so soon enough we were making plans to head south together to give the Keys a try.
We ended up taking the bus to Florida and it was an incredibly long, long, long ride. When we got there we learned that her friend never told the guy she was living with that I would be coming too and he didn't disguise his annoyance at the surprise. It was a rough start and it didn't get any better. Within about forty-eight hours of our arrival it was pretty obvious that things wouldn't work out for us in Marathon.
As charmless as our host was, it quickly became clear that Chelsea's friend was a far greater irritant. Aside from her naked dishonesty, she was one of the most ignorant people that I'd ever met. On top of neglecting to tell her boyfriend that I would be coming, she had also falsely told us that she had jobs lined up for us. Her head was an ark full of bad ideas and mistaken beliefs that she never hesitated to share. For instance she let us know that alcohol was her chief form of birth control. She felt that if her boyfriend drank enough, the booze would work as some sort of general spermicide. The system had failed a few times, but everyone knows that no form of contraception is perfect, right?
Once we announced our plan try our luck down the highway in Key West, our host's attitude turned around. He didn't mind letting us leave most of our luggage at his place for pick up later and he also ended up giving us a ride to Key West. The three of us had breakfast on Duval St and before he headed home he even told us if we couldn't find a place that we were welcome to take a bus back to Marathon.
After we ate Chelsea and I got down to business. While I looked for a job, Chelsea began looking for a place for us to stay. It turned out finding a job was the easier part. Within the hour I was busing at a restaurant, but when we met up at the end of the day Chelsea was frustrated and exhausted. She'd been walking all day and had only found two potential apartments, both seeming to be over our budget. We were a little worried we'd have to head back to Marathon.
As luck would have it though, a guy working at a sidewalk kiosk beside the steps we were sitting on heard our conversation. He had a friend with a place for rent and gave us his number.
The room turned out to be pretty small, but it was right on Duval and close to everything. Most importantly though, at least we could afford it.
The landlord was a Lieutenant in the Coast Guard who was originally from Arkansas. After he left, the girl renting the other room introduced herself to us and told us to be ready, because the landlord hits on all the girls who stay there.
Looking at Chelsea she said, "He can be little creepy, but he's pretty harmless."
True enough, though I never got invited, he was always asking Chelsea if she'd like to come over to his place for a swim. After moving in we also found a couple of naked polaroids of him in our room. We found one of him antediluvian selfies in the drawer of the nightstand and the other was left under our bed.
Not the smoothest of moves, but maybe that's just what Arkansas courtship is about? After all, in a few short years a real smoothie from Little Rock name Bill would emerge onto the world stage and despite possessing a true silver tongue, reportedly still liked to just drop his pants as an opening line.
Key West was a great place to spend the summer. Even though we worked too much and spent most of our wages on our puny room, it was still pretty good. I even worked as an extra on a Goldie Hawn movie while we were down there.
Chelsea heard about the filming and found out where to apply to work as an extra. Since Chelsea worked during the day and I worked evenings, she had me bring over our photographs and fill out the application forms. Chelsea was a huge Goldie Hawn fan, and not without merit, felt she bore a strong resemblance to the actress. So when I got called to be an extra and she didn't, she was a little jealous.
During my day on the set I spent most of my time reading a book while everyone waited for the sun to come out. When the weather finally broke they spent about an hour on the shot that I was in, but it never made it into the movie. Chelsea's jealousy was much reduced when she found out that I never met Goldie and with the extra money that I made we were able to have a rare night out.
We ended up going to eat a touristy place on Duval and we followed diner with drinks on a hotel rooftop patio just down the street. The sunsets in Key West are a thing of beauty and atop the hotel was one of the best vantage points in town.
In addition to the sunset that night there was also a lightning storm flashing in the distance. The night darkened as the storm approached and the light show over the gulf was spectacular. Eventually the wind started to really whip up and when the staff began scrambling to batten down the patio furniture we took it as our cue to move inside. Since the lounge was so full with people coming in from the patio, we decided to finish our beers and just head back to our place.
Waiting for the elevator Chelsea firmly declared, "I want sex when we get home!"
By the time we got to the street it was already pouring rain. We tried to run for it, but we didn't make if far before deciding we were just too drunk to run any further. Besides we were already soaked. The rain was coming down so hard and Key West is so flat, that by the time we got to our apartment even the raised sidewalks were under a few inches of water.
We'd forgotten our keys, so we had to climb up a tree and get in through the patio at the back of our apartment.
The layout of our place was a little weird. Our kitchen led to the bathroom, and the bathroom opened up to the first floor rooftop at the back, which doubled for us as a patio. So the patio access wasn't really ideal or without the occasional interruption. On this night though, entry through the bathroom was perfect for us. Not only could we hang our wet things up on the shower curtain, but after a night out drinking I really needed to piss.
