Should It Be All About Me

Christian talked to me about his desires for the first time, about one year ago. He wants me to have more control in our relationship, hurt him physically and make him do whatever I want.

I was turned off by everything; it was a lot for me to hear all at once. We had an equal relationship and I thought it worked well for us. We never argued and we love each other deeply. After he told me some of the things he desired I didn't think I could give him that and I thought about ending the relationship.

I love him. How could I hurt him? I ignored his desires and we didn't talk about that subject for a while. But he tried to push on me, the things he wants. He would call me princess when we we're alone and sit at my feet sometimes. It all made me feel a little uncomfortable. Sex became almost nonexistent and I continued to get more and more frustrated with him.

We are downstairs one day, watching TV before bed and he is on the floor again, playing with my feet.

"Come on Christian, enough!" I say and give him a kick in his chest.

"Vanessa!" he says, surprised and backs away from my kicking distance.

I feel bad; I didn't mean to kick him. I'm surprised I raised my voice to him to.

"I'm sorry," he says, still on the floor.

I don't know what to say, I feel like I'm the one who should say sorry. My feelings are built up inside, I have been holding them in for a while.

"You're sorry! It's getting to be annoying; it's the same thing all the time... I told you I don't know if I want this," I say, with anger and frustration all over my face.

He doesn't move or say anything.

"Are you going to just sit there all night, we haven't even had sex in weeks... would you rather be on the floor, maybe make yourself useful instead?" I say, looking at him on all fours.

He crawls back to me and places a kiss on my silk panties.

"You're getting upset is the last thing I want," he says, gently and rests his head on the couch between my legs.

'He's like a puppy dog... I just kicked you,' I chuckle to myself.

I don't apologize but, I rub his hair reassuringly. I don't want him to be afraid of me; I just acted on mixed emotions. Christian has never done anything to hurt me and is always more than good to me. I have this strange excitement in my chest when I think about what I just did to him. He could have defended himself easily.

We stay in the same position for a long few minutes, and then he starts kissing my inner thigh. I'm not at all mad at him anymore. How can I be mad? He is still very passive, even after everything I did and said to him. His kisses get deeper and I move my damp panties out of his way, so he can get right to the source. Christian works hard with his tongue and my excitement rises.

"Oh that's so good... uh don't stop," I moan, quietly.

His tongue feels better on me than ever. I don't know if it's because of the period of abstinence or if it's the situation, but I like it.

"Klok," I kick him on the side of his butt.

'Sorry... why did I do that? What's come over me?'

"Ow," he whines, quietly and pauses for a couple seconds.

When he goes back to pleasing me, I feel a sort of rush inside. I have never felt anything like this.

'Is it because I kicked him? Why... do I like it?'

I decide to keep my feet to myself. It doesn't take long for him to bring me to a powerful orgasm, leaving me lifeless. He stays at my feet and it doesn't seem like he expects me to reciprocate.

"Thank you, Vanessa," he says and kisses my leg for the last time.

'For what?... Why are you so nice to me?'

I just look at him. I think it sounds mean, but I feel like I'm done with him. I would suck his dick or something if he wants, but I don't want to. It's late and I'm getting tired. I get off the couch easily, so I don't step on him. I don't say anything and make my way through the kitchen and upstairs to go to bed. I think he believes I'm coming back to him, because I am in a deep sleep by the time he gets into bed.

I feel a light chill coming from outside of my covers. As my body starts to become awake, I look for Christians warm body and realize I'm alone. Its Sunday, our day off, we usually wake up together. I start to remember last night,

'oh... what's he doing... could he be mad.' I try my best to analyze all the details of what happened at my feet.

I need to find Christian.

As I walk down the stairs I can smell breakfast. It smells like pancakes and a hint of fresh brewed coffee. He is standing at the counter, above two plates. I notice the plates decorated nicely, with fruit and what looks like shaved chocolate. He doesn't sense my presence as I sneak up behind him. I touch gently, that spot on his butt where I kicked him. He smells like a fresh shower, clean laundry and aftershave. It's delicious; I would be satisfied with Christian for breakfast.

"Hey," is all I say, quietly.

"Hey," he smiles, "I'm glad you're up... is pancakes okay," he says and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

'Okay you're not mad. Should I be mad?... Whatever, stop thinking, Vanessa'

"Yes, you know I love pancakes," I smile and give him a kiss back.

There is an awkward silence for most of the meal. I don't know what to say and I admire the breakfast, prepared beautifully.

"I'm sorry," he says, breaking the silence.

'What... for what? Why do you always say sorry?'

"For what?" I ask.

"For last night, I don't mean to make you mad. I don't want to lose you," he says, sadly and I watch him for a few seconds.

"I liked it," I say, admittedly.

"Yeah?" his eyes light up.

"Yeah, I don't know exactly what it is... I guess I'm not used to you being at my feet and stuff, it's weird to me," I say, watching his relief.

He doesn't respond and I don't want the unbearable silence again.

"I liked when you crawled back to me after I kicked you," I say, a little shamefully.

He smiles with his head down and gets up to give me a kiss. After breakfast, I make myself comfortable on the couch in front of the TV, because Christian insists on cleaning up without my help. It's nice to not have to do anything. After about ten minutes I forget about him, I'm lost in my TV show. He sits on the couch next to me when he finishes cleaning. I'm glad he didn't sit on the floor this time.

"All done? Thank you," I say, pleased.

"Yes, you don't have to thank me," he smiles and holds my hand.

'Don't thank you? Why do you say things like that!'

"Okay... you're so good," I give him a big kiss on the cheek.

We cuddle for a while and exchange loving kisses, until I feel like closing my eyes for some rest. I always feel tired and lazy on Sundays, work has been really busy these last six months. Christian owns a company and works sixty hour weeks; I am always amazed at how well he handles the stress. I nudge him to move so I can lie down.

"The bathroom needs to be cleaned and I need to make the bed... you can do that if you want," I say, jokingly, "I'll do it later," I tell him, so he knows I was kidding.

"Okay," he says quietly, tucks me into the blanket tighter and gives me a kiss on my hip.

I stretch out of a foggy sleep, "mmmm ah," I giggle.

'that feels so good... oh my god, it's after three!' I look at the clock on the TV, I slept for four hours.

Christian is sitting on the floor in front of the couch.

"Hey, what are you doing down there?" I say, peeking down at him.

"Waiting for you... I didn't want to wake you," he says, looking at me with his captivating brown eyes.

"Aww that's sweet," I mutter.

I think I would still be sleeping, if I didn't have to pee so badly. I throw my blanket playfully, at him and walk away sleepily. The bathroom smells like cleaners and when I flick the light on, I see everything is shiny clean.

'Wow did he really clean... it looks so good'

I inspect the shower, toilet and sink on the way out. They are cleaned perfectly. I go upstairs, out of curiosity. I stand in the doorway, admiring all that he did, the laundry is put away, blankets are folded and the bed is made.

'I need to remember not to thank him,' I laugh, to myself.

I smile at him, still sitting on the floor. He is the most handsome man I know and masculine, it's still strange to me when I see him on the floor. I push my body into his face intentionally, as I sit down.

"You're so good... the house looks great!" I say, pleased with him.

"Thank you," is all he manages to respond.

I imagine kicking him right now, for no reason. I dismiss the thought quickly. Everything that has happened since yesterday has been a new experience for me. I feel oddly, like a kid with a complicated new toy, learning how to use it.

"I love when you're happy," he kisses my legs.

I am really happy. I never thought I would like anything that has happened.

"Where would you like me to kiss," he looks up at me with his eyes.

"Here..." I say shyly, pointing to my panties.

His tongue on me feels better every time. I already feel spoiled and he is giving me more. It is almost overwhelming. He brings me to a mind blowing orgasm in less time than the last one; my entire body feels the affects. After I regain some sanity, I get the desire to eat. I completely forget about the idea of reciprocating the pleasure to him.

"I'm going to end up stepping on you," I giggle.

"That's okay," he kisses my foot.

"Oh yeah?" I say playfully, when I step on his arm to get past him.

I can sense him standing behind me and I smell his delicious aroma. It reminds me that I still need to shower.

"Are you hungry, do you want to go out to eat?" he asks, aware that I'm searching for food.

"No," I say, fearful of the idea of leaving the house.

I still want to be lazy, plus it's freezing outside.

"Take out? Just tell me what you want," he embraces me from behind.

I feel his breath on my neck, sending goosebumps down my arm.

"Okay... pizza," I squeak.

He vanishes and I hear him on the phone in the other room.

'Yay he's ordering pizza. I want to watch a movie to,' I feel like a little girl.

To be continued...