If you've ever been to Eighth Street in Manhattan you must have noticed the shoe stores. Hundreds of people, tourists, NYU students, serious shoppers, surge into and out of them every day looking for bargains. Every language you can imagine is heard there: Japanese, Hebrew, Arabic, Spanish, you get the idea.
My girlfriend Nancy dragged me there late one Sunday afternoon after an intense day of shopping in the Village. I silently gritted my teeth. Nancy must have owned at least 200 pairs of shoes, and I must admit that to my mind one pair of black sandals with a chunk heel is pretty much the same as any other. This attitude is met with derisive scorn, as if I were an imbecile for failing to note the microscopic differences between a fifty- dollar shoe and a five-hundred-dollar shoe.
Hey, I'm a guy. Give me an every day pair of sneakers and one good pair of shoes and I'm set for life.
As I wistfully thought about taking the PATH back to Hoboken Nancy sized up about a hundred shops with identical windows. Finally she picked a store and we went in. To my tired eyes it looked like any other shoe store I'd been dragged to. There was the usual selection of sandals, sneakers, and sensible every day shoes, and nothing leapt out at me. We were the only customers in the place. The salesclerk slumped by the cash register reading a magazine. She wore a bored expression like a weapon. She was some kind of surly Eurotrash, decked out in a skin tight belly shirt and micro mini. Her stylishly short bottle-blonde hair was slightly unkempt by the end of the day. Her navel was adorned by a gleaming little ring. On her well-tanned bare legs were a chunky pair of shiny black platforms. Her name, she said with a yawn, was Sabine. If we needed any help we were to let her know soon, as she was closing up at six and wasn't staying a moment later.
Nancy poked around the store for awhile, and I cooled my heels looking out the window, watching the traffic go by and wishing for a cold beer. She turned into a little alcove at the back of the store and I heard her gasp. Curious, I ventured back there. "Look at these," she said with a slight flush in her face. The alcove featured several dozen pairs of outlandish shoes, with outrageous colors, textures and absurd heel heights. Many of these were well within the range of fetish footwear. Now these were the kinds of shoes I'd pay attention to! Nancy was transfixed by one pair in particular. She referred to a pair of shiny black thigh high platform boots. Even in this outlandish assortment they leapt out from among the other shoes. The soles of the boots were two inches thick and the wicked looking stilettoes towered a good six inches high. They were quite simply the hottest boots I've ever seen. I thought of those cartoons with the sexy devil girls in boots and felt my underwear get a bit tighter.
Nancy removed them from the shelf and eyed them from every direction. She smiled in delight when she made out her reflection in the material. Running her hand over the shiny surface she made a small yummy noise. "Here, feel this," she said. She ran the gleaming shaft of the boot across my cheek. The sensation was smooth and cool, not like leather at all. She put the boot on the floor and held it up to her leg. "My God, I've never seen boots like these! Talk about fuck me shoes. I want them." I had the feeling that I was going to be out a couple hundred bucks very soon, but the idea of seeing my girlfriend in those boots offset the financial hit I was in for.
When Sabine saw Nancy playing with the boot she perked up. Stubbing out her cigarette and marking her place in the magazine she got up and expressed interest in us for the first time. "I didn't figure you for this type of shoe," she said. "In fact, you looked so boring, so suburban, that I was just waiting for you to leave so I could go home early." I bristled at the insult. I mean, I'm a Jersey guy, sure, but there's no need to be rude. She and Nancy started chatting, though, and I knew I was in for the long haul.
After an eternity in the stock room Sabine found the proper size and brought them out to Nancy. As my girlfriend slipped out of her Reeboks Sabine stopped her. "These boots are designed to hug the leg exactly," she lectured. "You'd never get them up over your jeans. If you want to try these on the jeans will have to come off." Nancy looked at Sabine and then at me. Her face flushed deep red. "It's up to you," Sabina continued and turned back to the stockroom.
Nancy looked at me again and I shrugged. It was her call. "Can I get some privacy, at least? Isn't there a dressing room, or a ladies room or something?" She reluctantly looked at the devil boots laying in the box at her feet. "I'm not dropping my pants in the middle of the store!"