"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK TO SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT XXX!! I am your host,
Murray Alders
, joined once again by the ineffable
Lance Hardstyle
!"
Lance swaggers up beside Murray in the announcers' booth, stroking his thick beard. He's wearing a plush, furry vest and oversized sunglasses. "You watch your mouth, Alders!" he growls flexing his muscular arms. "I'm incredibly F-able! Wahahaha!"
"Oh brother," The white-haired announcer groans, rolling his eyes. "Can you take anything seriously?"
"Normally no, but I tell ya," Lance replies. "I'm taking tonight very seriously! We got two huge matchups on the way!"
"Without question!" Alders agrees. "Tonight's episode features the semi-finals of the SEXXX Championship tournament! Two of our amazing competitors will punch their tickets straight through to the finals! Up first, we'll see
the Canadian Saint Alexa Flodd
, as she takes on
Brittany Love
."
"That's right, Mur-man, the girl-next-door jumps in the water with the great white shark from the great white north," Lance shakes his head. "I'm not sure this match won't look more like the first five minutes of
Jaws
!"
"If last episode taught us anything, Lance," Alders says. "It's that none of these lovely competitors can be dismissed until that final bell sounds!"
"Love did steal one over
Trent
and
Misty
last time," Lance replies. "Maybe she's got a plan to outsmart the saint tonight!"
"Well I know, and I think the fans all know that's not exactly what happened when Brittany Love faced Misty
Smoulders
," Alders balks. "But that's an argument for another day, as we've got semi-finals action coming up right now! Let's go to the ring!"
In the arena, ring-announcer
Jerry Mandela
is already in the ring with his microphone. "Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall and is a semi-final match in the SEXXX Championship tournament!"
The glam-metal chords of a Motley Crue song start to play and the audience rumbles with excitement. A slender girl bounces out to the top of the ramp with an energetic smile, banging her cute brunette bob to the music. Her lean, subtle figure is clad in a teal and black two-piece, with spandex trunks wrapped around her narrow hips and a matching halter clinging to the perky curves of her petite breasts. Her arms are adorned with teal fishnet sleeves. Her long, sleek legs a bare, extending down to plain black wrestling boots.
"Our first competitor," the announcer shouts. "With the measurements 28B-24-26, she is Brittany Love!"
The pretty brunette bounds down the ramp as the crowd sings along to her entrance music. She reaches the ring and just as she's about to lead the sing-along through the chorus...the music is cut off by the dulcet riff of an electric guitar playing O Canada. The fans boo in disappointment and continue to boo as the next competitor appears.
She's a beast of a woman, with cropped blond hair, spiked up over a scowling face. Carried on a pair of thick legs, her barrel shaped figure supports two massive, powerful arms. She's wearing a red and white leotard, sporting the classic maple leaf design, with bright red boots to match.
"And her opponent," Jerry goes on. "With measurements 48E-50-48, she calls herself the Canadian Saint, this is Alexa Flood!"
As she marches to the ring, completely ignoring the derisive crowd, her cold glare fixes on Brittany.
Once both wrestlers are in the ring, the ref signals for the bell to start the match: DING DING!!
Brittany immediately charges the larger woman, hitting her with a stiff forearm strike! Alexa recoils in surprise, allowing the brunette to clock her a second time. She shoves the slender girl away with enough strength to knock her down. Only a little surprised by the power, Brittany rolls right to her feet and rushes back in!
This time the spunky brunette launches a flurry of punches! Alexa lifts one meaty arm to absorb the blows, leaving her midsection open. Brittany stomps a boot into her opponent's ample belly driving the Canadian back into a corner. Before the large woman can recover, Brittany bounces off the ropes, building momentum as she charges across the ring and plants a flying boot right on cheek of the Canadian Saint!
Alexa staggers out of the corner, holding her face. Brittany can hardly believe she's still on her feet but doesn't let up. She rushes in, kicking at the back of the big woman's leg. When Alexa turns away to protect that leg, the brunette lights her up with another forearm strike! Driven back on her heels but still standing, Alexa stumbles into the next corner.
Pushing the pace to keep her advantage, Brittany charges in for another big boot to the face! Taking the full brunt once more, the Canadian lurches out of the corner while Brittany jumps up to the second rope. Knowing she needs to get the big woman off her feet, the brunette dives off the rope in a cross-body-block hoping to use all her meager bodyweight to do just that!
Instead, Alexa catches the slender girl with ease. Brittany barely has time to register that she's in trouble, before the powerful Canadian hoists and slams her onto the mat! All the air explodes from Brittany's lungs as her lithe body crashes down, instantly dazing the girl.
Alders: "Love underestimated Flood's strength on that one, Lance! Bad landing for the girl-next-girl!"
Lance: "I think it may be feeding time up north!"
"Not bad, not bad," Alexa groans, standing over the brunette. "Unfortunately for your skinny ass, sometimes it
is
the size of the dog in the fight that matters!"
Before Brittany can regain her bearings, the big woman lifts a shiny red boot and stomps down on her slender midsection! Gasping for breath, the brunette rolls away, struggling up to one knee. Alexa is waiting though, hauling her the rest of the way to her feet then slinging her into the corner.