He had never spoken a word to her until their junior year when they were selected to work on a group project together. By that time class sizes were considerably smaller, and the lecture halls were a thing of the past as they had both moved to upper level phycology courses. These upper level courses were only for those serious about the field, not for those taking required classes and not caring about anything except getting that passing grade and the credits to graduation. Ray was happier that way, also a smaller class put him closer to Shannon.
The selection had been random by the professor, and it was Shannon, some other guy named Mike, and himself. It was a difficult project that required quite a bit of meetings, research, and interviews of the general public: and it gave Ray a lot of time in her presence. It was so much fun to be paired with her and get to work with her and, he hoped, show off just a bit of what he had going for himself: his 4.0 intellect. He wasn't an athlete or tall or insanely handsome ('I think I'm probably Ok looking.' he told himself) but he was smart and confident he could have a lucrative career, somehow, being that smart.
It blew his mind when she made the first move, asking him to go for a beer when the project was over.
He was blown away, but thought quickly enough to say "Sure, what did you have in mind?" without an awkward pause. Ray had always been quick with his words too, he had thought it came with his smarts.
She mentioned a place he was unfamiliar with, and he didn't recognize the name as one of the hotspots for college students and the super hot athlete types like her. She told him where it was and, to this day, he still regrets saying:
"What did Mike say?" he said innocently.
"Mike?" she replied, with an upward inflection that made it clear it was a question.
"Yeah," There was a short awkward pause, "I bet Mike would want to go, we wouldn't have made our interview numbers without him working the parks."
"We can if you want, I had thought maybe just us. This place is a bit quieter and not full of students." she said.
She was asking him out and he didn't even realize! He remembered feeling like such a dope!! Shannon gave him shit for this exchange to this day.
They went for drinks and it was awesome: he had her undivided attention and she looked tremendous! Her hair was down, he wasn't sure he had ever seen it down from this close before, and the wavy blonde locks flowed to just below her shoulders, she had on light makeup, a perfume that was simply enchanting, with tight designer jeans and a low cut top showing some chest but no boobs.
She wasn't shy about drinking, and she was tipsy by the time they left. They had sat and talked for nearly three hours, taking in some game on TV during pauses in the conversation. He offered to drive her home, but she said she would take the campus shuttle (girls had a free ride anywhere in town from this shuttle to avoid long walks home at night or driving drunk). Before she left, they set another date for later in the week.
The dating went well, but he consistently felt like she was putting up a front of some kind. She was polite, respective of his thoughts, a good listener, and a great conversationist. She was never too opinionated and didn't challenge any of his thoughts too directly although she could be quick to disagree with him, especially when they talked psychology.
There were also her looks and reactions. They were subtle and she hid them well by speaking, smiling, or looking away, but he got the sense she was only saying very little of what was really on her mind. She did this all the time on their dates: maybe she had intimacy or social issues of some kind. He could not put his finger on what he thought it may be, but something was off with her and, since he studied psychology and behavior, he was able to notice when others may not have.
After four or five dates he was starting to realize it wasn't going to work. As beautiful as she was, his feeling about her only grew. He became convinced she was putting up a front and hiding something, but he had no idea what.
To compound his concern, she was a total tease! After a few dates the makeout and groping sessions started when she came to his house (always his house, he didn't even know where she actually lived, she had only given the name of a massive apartment complex) but nothing moved past that. He pushed, like trying to lift her shirt, but she shut him down.
He finally got the shirt off, but the bra stayed on (she insisted) and she shut him down when he went for the pants.
After six or eight dates, her reactions and the looks she made when hiding how she felt or what she had to say were more noticeable and occurred more often. He made up his mind at dinner to end it. It was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made and even harder to do: but he had too.
He wanted a strong woman, specifically a strong willed woman, not a pushover like her. He wanted to be challenged to be better, challenged to do better, pushed by a long term girlfriend to be everything he could be. He wanted someone he could debate, maybe even argue with about things, and not be afraid to tell him when he may be being a douchebag or when he was full of shit. He wanted a partner in life, not someone to agree with his choice of dinner or let him make all the decisions in their future. He wanted someone who was not scared to speak her mind and voice her thoughts. Shannon was just not that girl, and it frustrated him that he just couldn't figure out why
What else was he to do? Something was definitely off with her, and he was having a harder and harder time looking past it, despite her beauty. Also, if he blew his chance to have sex with her, he knew no other girl that hot would ever have sex with him. Ever. This was as close as he had ever gotten with a girl ever remotely as hot as she was, but somehow he was ready to end it.
He broke it off in the parking lot after dinner but before they got to their respective cars. He didn't remember how it went, but he remembered her saying things like "I can explain.", "I haven't had much luck with men at this God damned school.", "want to meet the real me?", and "one more night?".
He was ready to discount anything she said before she said it, so he didn't put much stock into any of it. It did surprise him to hear her curse, even if it was just "God damned school". It was obvious she didn't want it to end, which made his confidence swell in a perverse sort of way: he was ending it with the perfect "10" sweetie and making her upset in the process, that should not make him feel good. But it did. It wasn't like breaking Travis's nose, but it gave him a sense value he had never felt before.
'She really likes me.' he remembered thinking at the time, 'maybe another hot one can like me too.'
But, he stuck to his guns, waved, awkwardly walked to his car and drove away. He looked over at her face as he pulled away (she hadn't moved an inch since he walked away), and although it was from a distance and he was in a moving car, he was pretty certain she was angry. Very, very, angry. He remembered being a bit nervous on his drive home.
He was right. He should have been nervous. He could not have guessed, not in his wildest dreams or fantasies, what was to come next.