Secrets Ch 47

47

When my eyes opened, I felt rested but at the same time it felt like I'd only closed my eyes moments before. The urgent, deep ache was gone, at least for now, but there was still that morning arousal that seemed stubbornly resistant to the reality of life in a chastity cage. Jane was still sleeping, looking so lovely and at peace.

Perhaps the greatest surprise of all of my recent life was seeing the wellspring of dominance and gleeful wickedness that had been hiding dormant within her. There were times when it felt impossible not to view her choices as she controlled me in the light of possible feelings of revenge. Revenge for having kept so many secrets from her, or for possibly denying her the kind of marriage and sex life that she had deserved. I couldn't believe that was all there was though, as even when she was challenging me the most, or making me endure the hardest, there was joy behind her eyes, and not anger.

That joy, that sense of her pleasure at my use and torment, was thrilling to me. At long last, it seemed, I'd found the way I could truly to please my wife. That was worth all the pain and ache and emasculation -- though I couldn't kid myself there, I knew myself well enough to admit my relationship with those emotions was love/hate already.

Weekday mornings didn't really allow time for indulging in reflection, so I lifted myself out of bed and got my day started. I pulled on a robe and went downstairs quickly to put the coffee on, then went back up to shower quickly while it brewed. Jane was just starting to stir as I finished.

"Stockings for you again today," she said as her version of good morning. "A plug too, but a more reasonably sized one. I suppose I have to let you get some work done during the day."

"Thank you, Mistress," I answered with heartfelt relief.

Getting dressed in fresh panties and stockings was still embarrassing to do in front of her, so I was relieved, even then, when I covered up those secrets with my normal work clothes. I went into the spare bedroom to find an appropriate plug for the day. With it being smaller than her choice for the day before, it was certainly easier to fit in and handle inside of me, but it was still a near-constant distraction. I could feel that truth even just as I finished getting dressed, once more hiding my collar and piercings.

"Do you think you're bisexual now?" she surprised me by asking, as we sat together briefly and ate a quick breakfast.

I nearly coughed up my bagel with her frankness.

"I... I don't know, Mistress," I answered. "I don't really think of myself as attracted to men, which is maybe silly to say out loud now. The idea of sucking on the toys, pretending they were cock -- that all started with a feeling of having to do it, to amuse someone else with their control over me, as they teased me or wanted to show me how they could humiliate me. As I saw, and felt, how it pleased you to see me do it... well, that alone made it even more thrilling for me. I like submitting, and I like giving pleasure. There's still enough of a feeling of taboo in it for me that it turns me on that way too."

"That's a lot of words," she laughed. "When you think of a strong, handsome, dominant man, do you want to suck his cock? Do you get turned on by the idea of him cumming in your mouth, or fucking you?"

"Yes, I do," I confessed, feeling the power of those words spoken aloud.

"Then it may be time to accept the truth that you're bi, at least. Given that you're never going to feel yourself inside a woman ever again, maybe you're just gay now," she teased.

"Yes, Mistress."

"In fact, given that, I'd like to give you a challenge," she said, with a worrisome light in her eyes.

"What is that?"

"I want you to seduce a man at your office -- not Alex. He already knows you'll blow him. No, I want this to be someone new. You can tell him it's some frustrated urge, you can tell him you lost a bet, you can tell him you're just experimenting -- that part doesn't matter. Hell, you can even just tell him that your Mistress wants you to do it. What matters is that I want you to get him to let you suck his cock or fuck you -- or both if he wishes."

"Oh god, really, Mistress?"

"Really. In fact, let's give you some incentive. You will be plugged, day and night, until it happens. You will also not be allowed any orgasms until then either. Let's see... what else... It can happen at work, at his place, at some motel, or you can even invite him back here. Of course if it's here, I might want to watch."

She was clearly enjoying herself, as her smile kept growing wider.

"I'll... I'll try, Mistress," I managed to say.

"You'd better do more than just try," she smiled, standing up and starting to gather her things for work. "Otherwise, no more good times like last night for you."

"Yes, Mistress."

Taking her signal and feeling reminded of the time, I too got up and cleared the table. We finished up our morning routine and met once more at the front door as we both prepared to leave.

"First you fuck your boss, and now you're going to be trolling for sex with another man," she laughed. "You're going to get a reputation."

She kissed me good-bye and strolled to her car to get on her way to work. It seemed to me like there was a bit of an extra bounce in her step.

As I was on my own way in, my mind was racing, thinking non-stop about my situation with this latest challenge. I was going to have to do something or find someone, as I had no doubt that Jane was being serious when she laid out the conditions of failure or delay -- I just wouldn't be allowed to cum. I was starting to learn just how quickly that would be a problem for me with all the other stimulation that was given to me. Even then, driving in with just a medium-sized plug inside me, I was tingling and my body was gripping it constantly. I was going to have to find a man to service, and quickly.

My mind went to Craig so quickly as to make me wonder how long I'd really been thinking about him in that way. He'd been one of the first men at work that I'd fantasized about, thanks to Master's instructions and requirements. He'd guided me to think of every man on that call as someone I might have to service, but Craig had stuck out as perhaps one of the most realistic choices. In my mind back then, I'd detailed a fantasy of a quick and hungry blowjob in a gym locker room. If I was going to make this real, there were surely going to be a lot more compilations than existed in that momentary dream.

Work itself was steady and dull enough to provide very little distraction. I was able to manage my mind mostly, maintaining at least a reasonable level of productivity, even though the physical realities of my body and state of dress. I wondered what Craig would think of it all, should things get to where they needed to for me. I lasted only until mid-morning before I got up and took a stroll around the office that took me past his department. I caught a glimpse of him, leaning against the doorframe of his own office, chatting with someone. My heart started to pound and I turned and walked away.

At lunch, I tried again. I timed my visit to be around the time that most people would be heading out to eat, or at least getting ready to. I got lucky, and ran into Craig in the hall, just as he was about to reach the elevator lobby. I smiled and nodded, trying out a wordless greeting, suddenly afraid that my voice would break if I actually tried to speak to him.

My little bluff was called as he actually stopped and smiled and said hello. We had only worked together tangentially, and we saw each other more often in virtual meetings that we did in real life. Perhaps he just enjoyed the surprise of seeing me in person.

"I've meant to say hello before," he said, "as I've seen you around the office now and again, but I just keep missing you."

"That's kind of you," I answered. "Yes, I suppose they keep me pretty busy. The days do move by pretty fast, especially when I'm racing from meeting to meeting."

"Do you want to catch up properly? I've got to run now, but I'd like to talk more. How about lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure, that works for me," I answered in a daze. "Meet here tomorrow at 12:30?"

"Perfect. I'll see you here tomorrow."

His elevator arrived and with a smile and a wave, he was gone. I stood there in a daze for a moment, not quite sure what had happened or why this first step had worked out so readily. I had no appetite for lunch, so I simply returned to my own office and did my best to work the rest of the day in a someone conscious manner.

At home that evening, Jane was thrilled to hear of my progress on her assigned task. As I sat with her, having dinner while dressed in my schoolgirl outfit, I had to add to my humiliation by telling her all that I could about Craig and his personal situation, which was not much, as it turned out.

"So, you know that he's handsome and fit, you know that he's gay, and you think you remember a boyfriend from the last office party, but that's it?" she teased.

"That's it, Mistress."

"You're really aiming high. I like that."

True to her word, I was kept plugged, and there was not even the suggestion of any sexual play between us. In a way, it led to a wonderful evening. I was still caged and plugged and collared and all the rest, but we just spent the evening together, talking and watching TV and chatting and laughing. If you could ignore the way I was dressed, it could have been any normal night between a married couple.

And then, just about an hour before the time when Jane might normally go to bed, her tone changed. She stood up and looked at me with a dangerous smile on her lips and an inspired light behind her eyes.

"Tomorrow might be just lunch, or it could be the start of a sexy little tryst for you. I want you to be ready for it. In fact, ever since this morning, I've been thinking about the possibility, and I decided to help. I want you to go upstairs and take a good hot shower. While you're in there, run the razor over your legs and the rest of you. Every girl knows that you shave before a potentially big date. It's also been long enough for you to remove the covering on your tattoos. Off you go."

I obeyed, feeling a rising nervousness. Not only about what she might have planned, but also thinking about what if things did really move quickly with Craig. The clear coverings came off the tattoos easily in the hot water, though it was a bit tricky to reach all of the one on my back. I layered my legs and crotch area and did the best job I could of making myself smooth, getting as close to the cage as I could. Once I was satisfied that I'd done the best I could, I rinsed off and exited the shower, only to find Jane there waiting for me.

"No need to get dressed at the moment," she said. "Come with me."

She led me back downstairs and into the kitchen, where she had all the lights on, and a chair set up.

"Have a seat," she instructed, so I did.

She had gathered a few items -- some toys and things I'd need before, and others that were new. She led my arms behind the back of the chair and cuffed them together. She placed a plastic pillow behind my back, forcing me forward in the seat, and then she cuffed my ankles to the legs of the chair.

"That's good," she said, looking me up and down. "Now edge your ass forward even more, to the edge of the seat, and spread your knees."

I felt very helpless and exposed as I did. My caged cock seemed very on display.

"I want to make sure you're cleaned up as best you can be," she said.

I was surprised and entranced as she reached for the key around her neck. Her hands moved very slowly, touching me as little as possible, as she knelt down before me and actually unlocked the cage. I could feel my body react with excitement as its constraints slid off of me, and as she removed the base ring as well. There was nothing I could do to stop myself from hardening.

She stood back and laughed.

"Look how desperate you are. I don't even have to touch you and you're throbbing."

"Yes, Mistress. I'm sorry," I said.

"I understand. You're just a man, and it's been a long time since the little fellow has tasted free air," she smiled. "That said, we don't want any accidents."

She picked up a small aerosol can and began to spray it at my erect cock. I felt a tingling cold sensation immediately. She made sure to spray all over and around my shaft. She waited a few seconds, watching the spray dry on me, and then she took a gentle hold of my cock with two fingers, lifting it up so that she could spray another coating over the underside of my cock and all over my tight, full-feeling balls. I could tell already that something was happening, as her touch felt strange and different.

"It's a numbing spray," she explained, seeing my confused expression. "They use it for burns and some injuries, but I understand it can also be very helpful in keeping horny boys like you out of trouble. I hear it works very fast. How does this feel?"

She reached down and wrapped her fingers around my quickly softening cock and gave me a squeeze and a stroke. I could feel the pressure in a kind of vague way, but there was no feeling of being touched. It felt like it had one time when I'd slept with my arm underneath me in some strange way and I'd woken up with my hand totally asleep. Then, it had taken just a minute or two for the circulation and sensation to come back, but this was different.

"I... I can't feel a thing, Mistress," I answered.

"Oh good. Just as advertised. They told me at the store that I could let you try to stroke yourself silly and you still probably wouldn't be able to get hard. Of course, that won't be happening. Just this."

She reached for another can, but this time it was shaving cream. She filled the palm of her hand with a cloud of the cream and started to smear it over my cock and balls. Once she was satisfied, she picked up a disposable razor.

"I know you did the best you could, but you can only clean yourself up so much while the cage is on."

I sat there in disbelief as she started shaving me. She moved slowly and methodically, with long smooth strokes. She took hold of my cock when needed, to lift it or move it out of the way, or to hold it high when she carefully shaved my balls smooth. I could barely feel any of it. It was as though I didn't have a cock at all -- just some numb appendage to be managed.

There was a moment, as she was dragging the razor up underneath my balls, that my mind returned to the thoughts of the orchiectomy procedure I'd googled. I was helpless and hers, and with a little slice my life and body would change even more completely and permanently. I wouldn't even need the cage after that, I imagined, which I supposed made sense, since I'd no longer have the balls for the base of the cage to latch onto. The mere thought of submitting to a procedure like that terrified me, but I forced myself to think about why.

All my life I had been taught to think of what was in my underwear as my "manhood." Now, when that underwear was panties and my cock was locked away and control over its state and use was given over to another, was there really any manhood left? It had been made clear to me that my cock would never feel the insides of a pussy ever again and, to be honest, when I imagined myself with men, it was also always with the assumption that it would be their cock inside of me. What was it for anymore, other than to torment me?

Being snipped like that wouldn't just free me from blue balls, of course. It would trigger a whole other raft of changes to my body and its chemistry. I'd only briefly glanced at the side-effects, but there were obvious implications to the removal of testosterone from my system, including development of breasts and reduced facial hair growth. The whole topic seemed like a deep rabbit-hole that was all too easy to get lost in. Details aside, it made me wonder how much of a "woman" or "sissy" Jane might actually want to turn me into. She seemed to enjoy emasculating me with her behaviour, by cuckolding me, and now by insisting I adopt women's clothing -- partially at all times, and completely while at home. The more I allowed myself to imagine she might actually want such a thing, the more nervous I became.

Once she was done shaving me, she wiped me clean with a hot wet towel.

"It's so cute, all smooth and soft," she said. "Not hard at all anymore."

To prove her point, she gave me another couple strokes but, thanks to the spray, I felt only numb movement, and there was virtually no response from my body. She laughed aloud.

When she locked me back up, I noticed to my fresh shame that she'd found an even smaller cage. There was really no shaft to it, just a dome of bright pink plastic. As soft and numb as I was, she had no problem wriggling the base onto me and locking me in. It was only then that I saw that the little slit in the cage that allowed me to urinate with it on was molded and shaped to look just like a little pussy. She saw my expression and giggled.

"It's perfect, isn't it? A little pussy for my sissy servant."

"Yes, Mistress," I answered, feeling defeated.

"I trust you won't mind. I just have to take a photo to show Jenn," she said, then pulled out her phone.

Of course there was nothing I could do. I sat there, cuffed and displayed, as she positioned her phone to get a nice close-up of me trapped and humiliated in the new, tiny cage, and then one or two more, showing me sitting there cuffed and collared and marked for her. Her name, marked in permanent ink, stood out above the cage very prominently.

"I know it's smaller, and I hope it won't be too uncomfortable, but it really is much prettier. It's going to look great in your panties, baby," she said.

"Thank you, Mistress," I answered.

"I also got you this," she announced.

With that she held up a very pretty set of sleepwear. The bottoms were something halfway between shorts and panties, the top was a spaghetti-strap camisole, and the whole thing was made of pink satin with white lace trim. She was so excited, freeing me from my cuffs so I could dress in it, right there in the kitchen. The camisole top felt so smooth and soft against me and tickled my nipples which, thanks to the piercings, felt constantly sensitive.

"Oh my god, it's perfect," she squealed. "Who would have thought you'd look so cute and pretty!"

"Thank you, Mistress," I answered, not sure that I felt either one of those things.

She decided it was time for bed, so she headed upstairs while I spent a few moments tidying up, which included cleaning up everything she'd used to restrain and shave me. Once everything was put away, I relieved myself -- sitting down, of course -- brushed my teeth and joined her in bed. My new sleepwear was a very different sensation against my skin.

My mind was racing, but I felt a kind of emotional exhaustion from everything I'd felt all day, and was asleep in moments.

Interlude

When Jane awoke the next morning, David was already out of bed, which was the usual routine. She knew that if she drew in a deep breath, she would sense the welcome scent of a fresh pot of coffee brewing.

She took her time getting out of bed and taking her shower, and decided on one of her favourite bra and panty sets. She wanted to feel sexy and powerful today. She chose a skirt that was fitted and, while a proper length for the office, was also slit up one side to nearly the top of her stockings. She paired it with a silk blouse which she left unbuttoned enough to teasingly reveal the lace trim of her bra. She added a tailored blazer and smiled at herself in the mirror. She looked nearly as sexy as she felt.

She saw David recognizing that as well, when he raised his eyes upon hearing her descend the stairs.