Hello you naughty girls and boys!
I realized too late I missed my opportunity for a good Halloween story this year, which means next year will have to be twice as special. I also may be too late for one of my larger Christmas Holiday stories. But I can at least tempt you with the beginnings of another holiday tale.
Richard's mother-in-law has come to visit and she wastes no time putting him in his proper place. Let's take a peek.
*****
I went to see who was at the door but my wife was already there. I didn't think we were expecting anyone but when her mother stepped through the door all the color drained from my face. Reflexively my tongue rolled around in my mouth as though I was already trying to relieve the cramps from hours of service.
"Don't you worry Dear, we'll have plenty of time to catch up. But now the trip has taken its toll and I need some time to relax. Where's Richard?"
I wished I was somewhere else but it was already too late. A mad dash from the hallway would have only led to a lot more trouble. I had to clear my throat; just her presence in the house was already choking me.
"I'm here Mother."
"Richard..."
"Sorry. I'm here Mommy Dearest. What can I do for you?"
My wife might call it a joke but I didn't think it was funny. One night Sylvia, her mother, said I should call her Mommy Dearest and I didn't think it was funny then, but I didn't think it would last. I was wrong. She has since made a point of making me refer to her in that manner. I had briefly forgotten; but she was quick to remind me.
"Well you'll need to bring in my bags at some point and you can arrange for our dinner this evening, but right now I need you to follow me to my room."
"Yes Mommy Dearest."
Did my wife tell her mother that maybe it was time to drop the 'Mommy Dearest' joke? Did my wife step in to say that I would be glad to bring in the bags but that I might be busy at that moment with something else? Did she do anything to save me from what she knew was coming? No. No, she did not. Instead she just smiled and chuckled as I stepped back to let her mother past and then obediently followed her to the guest room; her room.
It really was her room. According to layout and marketing it was the guest room, but my mother-in-law had quickly taken it over as her own. She wasn't there all year long, thank God, but she demanded it be kept solely for her. We weren't to use it for other guests. People never really stayed over with us, but it was just another way to exert her authority.
Of course she wasn't really exerting her authority over her daughter, my wife, she was exerting it over me. Beth was fine with the room being dedicated to her mother and if they had any disagreement about it I'm sure they would have worked it out before Sylvia made her decision. Did I mention that I'm the one responsible for keeping the room clean and prepared?
It was like a private hotel for just one person and I was the hotel staff responsible for pleasing a finicky guest. The bed sheets were part of the laundry I did. Every week fresh sheets, whether she had plans to visit or not. I also did the vacuuming and dusting and since there was an attached guest bath, I also cleaned that every week.
And as soon as she stepped inside her room she took a finger to the chair rail. She was already checking my work for dust. I was certain there wasn't anything to find but she rubbed her fingertips together as if removing any traces of the dust she found. She then looked around the room with a critical eye.
"Hmmpf. Smells a little stale in here. Maybe it just needs some fresh cut flowers. It'll have to do for now."
Right. It needed fresh cut flowers. Probably needed a new coat of paint in a different color and new furniture. I wasn't going to make a comment though. I was afraid if I did I would be adding a trip to the florist every week, just to keep her room ready. Instead I just kept quiet with a neutral face.
She then stepped casually over to the side of the bed. She touched one of the pillows and moved it slightly. Whether she was truly trying to fix its position or if it was a subconscious act of hers always trying to correct others I'll never know. She took a last look around and gave a heavy sigh as she dropped her purse on the floor next to the night stand.
"So Ricky, have you been taking good care of my daughter?"
"Yes Mommy Dearest, I have been taking very good care of her. She means the world to me."
"Hmmpf, well she and I will discuss your behavior. It had better be up to snuff."
Then without further ado, she began to unbutton her blouse. I stood with my head barely lowered as well as my eyes. I wasn't to stare at her at any time but I knew I wasn't supposed to be looking at the floor either. She wanted me to watch.